WHAT  PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.......

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......
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8:00 am - Dog food! My  favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My  favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park!  My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted!  My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite  thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My  favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My  favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My  favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My  favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with  the people!
              My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the  bed! My favorite  thing!

      Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...
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Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors  continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling  objects.  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while  the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry  nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the  rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat  something in order to keep up my strength.

The  only thing that keeps me going is my dream of  escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once  again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a  mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.   I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,  since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable  of.  However, they merely made condescending  comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.   Bastards

There was some sort of assembly of  their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary  confinement for the duration of the event.   However, I could hear the noises and smell the  food.  I overheard that my confinement was due to  the power of 'allergies.'  I must learn what this  means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I  was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one  of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was  walking.  I must try this again tomorrow -- but at  the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the  other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.   The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly  released - and seems to be more than willing to  return.  He is obviously retarded.

The bird  has got to be an informant.  I observe him  communicating with the guards regularly.  I am  certain that he reports my every move.  My captors  have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated  cell, so he is safe.  For  now................

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