I am confused. Why are you embarrassed? Particularly if you are in the health care field, I do not understand why you are embarrassed. I understand all the other feelings you mention...they are very normal. You are very young to have all those responsibilities and to be injured. It is difficult to deal with back pain under the best of circumstances...and it is hard because I'm sure none of your friends can relate to what you are going through/dealing with.

I think it might help if you had someone to discuss this with. Hopefully the board will serve that purpose if you do not want to talk to anyone you know personally.

You are on lots of meds that more than likely do not contribute to an optimistic attitude. What does your surgeon say about your continued pain after the surgery? Have you had a MRI post surgery to see if there might be a reherniation or some instability?

I hope you can find a solution to your pain. And I hope you will find some like-minded new cyber-friends here on the board that will help you and provide some support to you. I don't go into CHAT but I think those who do enjoy it and find support. I suppose any major injury is a life-changing event, but somehow back injuries seem to really cause a great deal of change.

Try to have faith that there is a solution to your back problems. Sometimes it can take a long time to figure out what that solution is, and sometimes we have to just keep looking -- but you are young and there are very exciting developments in technology, gene therapy, cell therapy etc. that will provide solutions to many problems connected to the spine. Hopefully you will find a solution sooner...but, don't give up hope that you will be much better one day soon.

Gwennie

does not discriminate regarding age. People in their early teens can develop serious spinal problems and there are those that may never see a spinal problem until they are 70!
So, please put the age issue out of your mind. The hardest thing for you to deal with is that you just figure at your age, you should NOT have these problems and be able to do everything you can.
The most important thing for you to focus on is to figure out just HOW you can manage everything, your professional, your family and more. Sure based on some medical problems you may not be able to do the things you did before. Trust me, so many of us have been there so many times. Our options are two, 1- Let it overtake us or 2- Figure out what you can do and what you cant, maintain a positive outlook so you can overcome many obstacles.
It is also so very important to be able to talk about this with others. The best would be your immediate family. If not with friends or family. And if all of that does not work, you can always count on coming here to open up and discuss your situation.
So many here will be understanding, some will try to coddle you while others will give you tough love... But I can guarantee you people will listen to what you have to say.

Second oppinion by a spinal specialist--yes Sounds as though your problems could be from a butcher. I would take my records (your entitled to them) and go to a orthopedic or neurosurgeon far away from the one who did the work. ( they don't like to say anything bad about a surgeon who they know or work with or near)
You may find an other way to address this, Head on!
What if you needed correction surgery, there's a chance things could get better.
Never believe " It's all in your head " Not everyone will have that attitude.
Most everyone on this site has an idea of what you're going through.
Good luck, Jim

We all feel that weight of responsibility and many here are proud in continuing with such emphasis while in pain, as said, pain can strike at any age and in that respect alone if our restriction came later in life those who started sooner have my empathy.

Only you can let yourself feel bad about what is going on, you are still achieving as a mother, partner, worker, provider and supporter of others and I could go on. The important thing it that you see those good things that you achieved and overcome those daily challenges that we all have. Perhaps you are not depressed but we all have to see the positive things that we do and look toward the future with realistic hope and achievable expectation.

It is frustrating when our future is unknown and the transition from no pain to more, one of the most difficult and problematic stages, the route is to cope with it the best you can. Surgery is not the best option for everyone and we need not be blinkered into thinking this is the only option available to us at the cost of attempting other areas for improvement. We keep a lot of our capability within and in working it is sometimes difficult to hide the reality of our condition and we become frustrated with the pace and desire to perform normally, when this becomes more difficult and painful.

Posters here who have a long duration of chronic pain have improved the skills that they have and it takes time and patience, kindness to yourself, it may be that the pain for many has never reduced, only the ability they now have to cope with it more effectively. While assessing the reality of future surgery we need a develop those skills and review problem areas all the time, giving more emphasis to those that we feel are currently important, it is a balancing act and it is probably impossible to keep all our plates spinning at the same speed all the time.

You are putting unrealistic pressure on yourself to keep this pace going, now or in the future something will have to give unless you can adapt, I am not saying you will be unable to do this and as many here even the thought of stopping or change imposes some understandable apprehension.

Keep you surgery option ticking over, in arriving here and expressing a fear that we have all had and overcome with some success is the first stage of addressing your issues, we will all try to help as best we can, we cannot see into the future or give you false hope, only hold your hand in helping you to help yourself.

Take care those feeling are normal for many here and we thank you for you insightful post.

John

all for your words. You all speak the truth and I believe I am in that difficult stage right now. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel it's just a matter of finding the way there.

I find it easier to talk to yall b/c yall know what I am talking about as far as the emotional feelings that go along with this process.

So I sincerely thank you all for your words.

You hold that head up K? you feel like your letting yourself down? by not being able to "push" as hard as you used to?
The light isnt so far away when you already have it inside...
all the courage, all the tooth breaking determination, the true core is right there, it never leaves or lets you down,nothing inside changes despite the changes throughout.
learning to deal with theses emotional tsunamie's???
is paramount to the outlook later.
dont give up and never give in, you can only be broken if you want to,
separating what is the essential you, from what the body is demanding selfishly is an enduring excercize, the more you learn to utilize the mastery of the sensations dominance the less it will bear weight.
dont get me wrong, pain is pain and all the psycological issues attendant with long term infirmmity are as bad as YOU want to make them.
you may be bent, but unbeaten,
broken, yet enduring what mear mortals would would weep at.
youve joined the legion of the Spine Health army. we dont have time for fear because were strong like that...like you
We come running when called, no matter what time, or place, to the call of our beloved brother or sister to stand...face outwards against the demons of our lives,
to stand shoulder to shoulder, shields up to protect those right beside us.
When you come out of this dark time, You too, will be the strong arm in the everyday battle with our bodies and souls and offer hope to the hopeless, and help for the weaker
Its what we do, us spineys...we stick together.
hope these smal words of hope resonate with ya?