Dear gawd, my back is soooo awful today. I have had to take more pain meds than I like. Even my usual tricks adjusting and using pillows and heat......nothing is helping.
And, to boot, I know that my hubby is staying home tonight because of that. He has a birthday party he is supposed to go to. I hate that he misses out on things because of my condition.
I am struggling today, and the tears are coming on hard and fast when they decide to. I am just so frustrated, and it hurts me that my husband is not living life because he worries so much about me. I try not to think about everything, it just drives me crazy. I have the most awesome kids, that have to take care of me. GGGRRRRRR!!
The shouldn't have to be doing that at their ages. It isn't right.
SOrry, just needed to vent a bit. Writing helps.
First off, Howdy woman!!! Enjoyed meeting and chatting with you tonight!!!
So sorry to hear you going through this. I have had similar feelings and tears when my hubby alters his activities due to my crappy spine!!! He actually gets a bit upset when he sees me tearing or crying because I am more mad than in pain that he isn't doing something he would have otherwise done? Our hubbies are good people Auburn, I don't think we see that, or ummm...maybe we see it too much and it intwines (<<- new word?) with our pain? I and many on here get frustrated with the fact we can't "be there" for our spouses, be it activities, emotional, or ummm...bed activities? I think in the long run, our true spouses understand. There for you woman!!!
Brenda
ACDF C5/6 2/08 - C6/7 8/09 - Neuropathy right arm and both legs - Cervical Myelopathy
10-11-11 PCF C4-T2 - C4-C7 Lamies; Surgery #2 Emergent removal large Hematoma!
L2/3/4 & L5/S1 fusions and Laminectomy on hold till neck fused.
For the full "Cliff Notes" please click my name!
"Life can knock us down, but we can choose whether or not to get up!!"
Thanks Brenda lady!! It is so hard to watch them suffer right along with us. And my hubby gets upset when I cry too. I sometimes think that the emotional stress is just as damaging as the damn spine!
Watching him do the things that I am supposed to do. The housework, the shopping. That is supposed to be my stuff. And my kids, damn I hate imposing on them. They are such good kids and such loving babes.
They are my very reason for fighting so damn hard!
I loved chatting with all of you too. It helps to have someone understand the pain. Love and hugs to ya lady!
Howdy back at ya Ms Auburn!!!
Yeah, hubbies are good. My guy does most of the food shopping, I find that I can't walk the isles without getting to the megga pain mode. We were in "Best Buy" and after about 20 minutes I had to lean on one of the counters to get my back to "like me" again! I made it look like I was looking at another customer playing a game! hehehe.... I don't have kids - was told as a teen "no kids for you", but not a biggy as I never had the "mommy urge" as they say. I love my hubby to death (20 years this March), and we are "best friends, lovers and confidants" in all we do.
What is hard is he knows I have more serious surgeries ahead, and too I am more worried about him than me when I am "on the table." Odd huh? I am here for him, and he for me. If I had kids the same would apply for sure!!! I of course can't feel your pain Auburn, but like you said, I do fully understand it. It sucks as most folks don't "see" our pain (no wheelchair, no walker, no brace etc.) so they think we are full of it - yeah, we are full of it, it is called pain!!! With ya woman!!! *HUG*
Brenda
ACDF C5/6 2/08 - C6/7 8/09 - Neuropathy right arm and both legs - Cervical Myelopathy
10-11-11 PCF C4-T2 - C4-C7 Lamies; Surgery #2 Emergent removal large Hematoma!
L2/3/4 & L5/S1 fusions and Laminectomy on hold till neck fused.
For the full "Cliff Notes" please click my name!
"Life can knock us down, but we can choose whether or not to get up!!"