I worked my first double shift since my last surgery today/tonight, and it was total hell. I had promised myself that I would never do another "double" but didn't have a choice, other than let my customers suffer. So I suffered thru it!
What I used to do, I can't do anymore. I took care of my customers tonight, took up the slack that employees were letting go, as usual, and I am paying for it now. I was really mean to an employee that was scheduled to work tonight, but couldn't because of being too sick, but managed to come pick up her check! And that's when I lost it! Too sick to work, but came to pick up her check!!
Sorry, but getting into that hopeless/helpless feeling that I was in a few years ago when this whole back thing really started going downhill for me. Hubby doesn't want to hear it anymore, and I just want it to end.
Again, I'm sorry for this post, but don't have anyone to talk to right now...can't sleep and I guess I am having a "pity party" I felt I had to get it out of me in some way, and.. well this is how I chose to do it.
I'm sick and tired of being in constant pain... aren't we all? We can still hope for a better tomorrow...
Laminectomy 2003 at L6-S1 (Six lumbar vertebrea) Herniated disc at L5-6 in 2006. Worsening symptoms last few months with surgery scheduled July 2008. (Update) July 9, had another laminectomy at L5-6. Getting better slowly.
Experiences like this just help to continue the change of perspective that chronic pain brings upon us. The employee that you lost it over may think you are becoming bitter and uncaring, whereas all of us here know that you are seeing the world for what it truly is.
Vent away any day glenda! It does the body good.
"C"
"Be careful about reading health books ... You may die of a misprint."
Hi Glenda. What do you do for work? And why did you doa double shift? I bet you are paying for it today!! Don't worry abut the venting. We all need to and that is one of the things Spine-Health is great for!! We have all been in each others shoes so to speak!!!
I hope you get better soon.
BTW....I would have been mean to the employee as well! I am a restaurant manager...with me it was always the dishwasher who either called out or would not show up for wory and it was/is always on the shift when I am closing!!!
Cervical myelopathy, 16 surgeries to date, Severe OA, bilateral knee replacements, DDD, 13 MRI’s, 4 sets of spinal cortisone procedures and dozens of cortisone shots in other areas for OA. Upcoming scheduled surgeries include laminectomy and removal of synovial cyst located at left facet joint of L4-L5 (may require fusion); Right resection of A-C joint (left was done 12 years ago, by far the most painful of all my surgeries)
sorry about your situation, better to vent than keep it in.
sometimes when i have no body to vent too, i even go into my bedroom get my daddy's picture(he passed away on thanksgiving) and talk to him, may sound strange but it really helps me when no one else is around.. i even can tell in my mind he gives me answers and ideas to help my situation
patsy
Cervical Stenosis with Myeolopathy.
C-3-7 Herniations Impingement on Cord several areas.
C6-7 is worse with Large Herniation with over 50% Impingement.
Possible M.S "Only Possible".
Myeolpathy symptoms seem to be getting worse. So time is important to me.keeping a positive attitude and holding head high.
Feel Free To Check Out My Websites: Patsy Now And Hunt Pix
I've always believed when someone passes, their body leaves but their spirit doesn't. I can see your dad sitting next to you, just holding you while you just sit and talk to him. It's always comforting to know that even when no one is physically around, you still have someone to lean on.
"I'm not crazy. I just do bad things when I don't get my meds."
http://www.myspace.com/crazys_place
Maybe it's this weekend but i'm right there with ya girl. There is nothing worse than having able bodied people say "oh i'm not feeling good so I can't do anything" while you are pushing yourself way too hard. Then to have her come pick up her check? You definitely had more restraint than I would have had, i'd have hauled off and nailed her probably lol. Or when someone keeps complaining about back pain just to get the attention. I just sit there and shake my head...if they only knew what it felt like for us every day of our lives. I posted my own cry-fest on here last night too, and even though it may not sound like it to others, it helped...a lot. I'm still moody, and I don't get like this often but when I do, I get bad. I am a very strong person, most of the time too strong. But sometimes all you need is an ear that completely understands your pain. ((((BIG HUGS)))
"I'm not crazy. I just do bad things when I don't get my meds."
http://www.myspace.com/crazys_place
Thanks so much to all of you! I was having a really bad night, and just putting out that post made me feel better...
C.. yes, you are right about employees not knowing what to think about me. One of them told me a couple of weeks ago that she could tell when I was really feeling bad cause I got "sharp tongued" and it's true.
Paul.. I own a small restaurant, so you know what I mean. We are training a new waitress, so when one of other waitress called in "sick" I couldn't leave us one short on the floor on Friday night, especially since one of them was new. I had already worked thru the lunch rush, that's about all I can handle these days, and when I say work, all I am doing is the cash register, taking call in orders, working the take out window, behind the counter stuff.
Patsy..talking to your Dad thru his picture doesn't sound strange at all to me. In fact, it sounds like it might be really helpful.
Brucie..this whole weekend has been bad for me. Friday night I thought I was ready to die, stayed in bed almost all day yesterday, worked short handed again today, had a 2 hour nap this afternoon, and now think I will make it to see another week. (I'll have to go read your cry-fest now
)
Again, thanks to all. Venting is like lancing a boil (I've never had a boil, much less had one lanced, so I should'nt use that analogy, but I will..) I think. Get the poison out of you in some way.
Hugs going out to all, and hoping for a better life for all of us.
Glenda
Laminectomy 2003 at L6-S1 (Six lumbar vertebrea) Herniated disc at L5-6 in 2006. Worsening symptoms last few months with surgery scheduled July 2008. (Update) July 9, had another laminectomy at L5-6. Getting better slowly.