Depression and Coping
What Next?

I had a follow-up appointment with my neurosurgeon on Thursday to check up on my latest revision surgery and talk to him about getting permission to get the SCS trial and possibly the permanent one done. Unfortunately my x-rays showed bad news. The first 2 levels of the fusion are doing great, almost completely fused, but the C7-T1 is not showing any sign of fusion at all. The screw had moved position and is barely in the bone anymore (he removed so much bone during the last surgery that there wasn't much there to screw it to). He's concerned that it may hit nerve roots or, God forbid, the spinal canal and cause my symptoms to worsen. He's also worried about the spinal instability that I had before that caused the kyphosis, stretching the spinal cord so extremely.

What does all this mean? Possibly no SCS for awhile. Possibly another surgery, this time posterior, to put a cage around this level and wire it permanently in place since it probably isn't going to fuse.

I had worked my courage up to endure another surgery for the SCS but I can't imagine having to do yet another revision in less than a year. I've just spiraled back to the extreme angry cycle that I've been trying so hard to get out of for so long. Everytime I have a setback it makes me so mad that I'm in this position to begin with because of careless people. I'm trying hard to find the positive in this but can't. It makes no sense- all the people at fault walked away without a scratch and here I sit, day after day, going through this hell. I just don't know how to get out of it anymore.

If I should go hit a punching bag....oh, wait, I can't...

Griff Angry

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01/08 ACDF C5-T1
Revision needed 06/08 Partial Corpectomies C5-T1 about 3/4 of each vertabrae removed, new ACDF done C5-T1 with new grafting and hardware....
Let the healing begin!


Oh

I am so sorry that you got this news....I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers....remember that we are here if you need us. If there is anything that I can do or if you ever just need to talk then shoot me a PM and I will respond as soon as I see that I have it...take care....Miki

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6\2007 MRI...C4-C5 Disc Degeneration..C5-C6 Central disc protusion effacing the ventral aspect of the thecal sac..right foraminal encroachment. C6-C7 Osteophytes.7\2007 ACDF C5-C6 with Titanium Plate and Screws..Donor Bone..Bone Spurs Removed. 11\2007 Diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and RLS. 1\2008 MRI..Scoliosis of the Lower Thoracic. 5\2008-6\2008...Medial Branch Blocks and Ablation.
7\2008..Myelogram..C4-C5 Disc Degeneration with Disc Bulge\Herniation..C6-C7 Broad Based Disc Bulge\Herniation..Tune into tomorrow for the next episode of....10\2008...UPDATE:First time having a Pain Management Doctor and I am trying a different medicine regime and so far I am doing GREAT!!!! I haven't felt this wonderful in a long time....THANK YOU to all of my Family and Friends who have supported me through out all of this....You all ROCK!!!!!

Thanks

I appreciate it Miki, my friend. I'm trying hard to cope but am losing the battle.

I tried to talk to hubby about it all yesterday but he changed the subject. I guess he's had enough of it too.

There's nothing I can do to change the outcome of this, I just need to find ways to handle it better. My emotions are at the limit.

Push on, push on.

Griff

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01/08 ACDF C5-T1
Revision needed 06/08 Partial Corpectomies C5-T1 about 3/4 of each vertabrae removed, new ACDF done C5-T1 with new grafting and hardware....
Let the healing begin!

so sorry, Griff...

Griff,

I am so sorry you got bad news about your latest revision surgery. It is certainly understandable that you are feeling angry and frustrated at the prospect of facing another revision. I wish you the best as you figure out how to push forward and what comes next. My thoughts are with you...
~kathleen

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Cervical and Lumbar DDD, arthritis and mild to moderate stenosis
ACDF, C4-6, January 2008
Lumbar scoliosis, untreated
Herniated L5-S1/bulging L2, L3 and L4 since September 2006
Cervical ESI 04/07; Lumbar ESI 08/08
Doctor stopped steroid injections permanently due to side effects from 08/08 ESI

hi griff - so sorry to hear

hi griff - so sorry to hear your news - i can lend you my virtual punching bag if you like. Its not as satisfying as the real thing tho.

take care

Nicola

Thanks

Thanks Kathleen and nicola. I really appreciate the support.

I'm starting PT today. I was pretty baffled that he wanted me to go on with it but then I realized that he wanted to see if my tendons and muscles are holding my neck in place. It's a quick way to find out! If I have to do this surgery then bring it on. The waiting is the hardest part.

The virtual punching bag sounds good...I'll take you up on that offer. Can you put the truck drivers face on it for me? LOL!

Griff

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01/08 ACDF C5-T1
Revision needed 06/08 Partial Corpectomies C5-T1 about 3/4 of each vertabrae removed, new ACDF done C5-T1 with new grafting and hardware....
Let the healing begin!

Does it ever stop?

Griff, I'm so sorry about your news. I think we are doomed to have a bad neck forever, but I hope you don't need another surgery. Just when you think you are starting to get better, bam, something slaps you down again. Please keep us posted, and feel free to throw some of them virtual punchs out there. I'll hold the punching bag for you anytime! PM me if you need to.

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Feb 2006 did something really stupid and injured my neck. After all sorts of conservative treatments, I had a 3 level ACDF C5 to T1. Complications from that surgery led to partial paralysis and a long battle to get back to where I am today. Unfortunately, I did not fuse correctly. May 08 I had a revision to the surgery, including both the anterior and posterior approach, 2 vertebrectomies, and much titanium in my neck. I am still taking it day by day as I learn to deal with the residual effects of the spinal cord injury and permanent nerve damage. I'm here to offer support and encouragement to all the newcomers. Feel free to PM me if you want to.

griff

Hang in there mama. your a good and strong girl and you will come through this with honor intact! you know..its ok to be mad at the unfairness, dont hold it in, dont give in to the pain...fight fight fight! i admire your resraint in the matter! reach down to the place youve built inside where you can find the calm in the storm. if not ...build one! your gonna be fine, you know why? coz your a great person and good thing follow people like you! all the darkness is gonna go away! take care from the hurricains and the internal ones!