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The Pain Game

araineaaraine Posts: 152
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:22 AM in Chronic Pain
:sick:

It appears that I have reached that point I think in my injuries that I just do not have good days any more. I don't know if my injuries are just getting worse, or I am letting it get the best of me. I really consider myself being a very strong individual, but lately, this has just been killing me. I am very tired of playing the pain game! #o

My neck pains seem to be getting higher, more frequent, and causing very horrible headaches and migraines. I also have been suffering from more frequent lower back pain at the very top of my pelvic area, which I think is causing my constant upset stomach along with the side effects of my medication is doing a number on my stomach...

It's like, I always have to know where a bathroom is at all times, and if I already know that I don't like that bathroom, I just will not go period because if I am in pain and sick, the last thing that I want to be is stressed in a bathroom. It's gotten so bad, that on my way to work, I have to make sure I know where all my bathroom stops are just in case I have an attack and need to rush to the bathroom, or I am afraid I will have an accident.

I am just getting so depressed over this crap, it;s just like, I want to yell time out! :T I want a break you know?! Well, I will stop rambling on and get ready for work, which I used to love until I started having all these pains because I do nothing but suffer for it...

:''(
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Comments

  • It is a game. There comes a point though where instead of trying to win the game, you just have to try and redefine the parameters of the game. Playing to a draw becomes a wonderful thought and losing is simply not an option anymore.

    I applaud you for still working and finding a way to redefine the parameters of your daily game. I wish I had some fantastic words of wisdom to tell you, but I really don't.

    So continue to do what you did today and post and vent and cry and whatever else you need to do to help you advance to the next move.

    Thanks for being here.

    "C"
  • sorry you are having it so rough. but when you were writing about going to the bathroom so much, it reminded me of my husband and he has chron's. do you have that or have you ever been tested for it? i hope that you get better and fast. this pain game is really too much for me at times too, that's why i went for help, for my pain and my mind. maybe an option??? big hugs and good thoughts for you!

    karenc
  • I have never been tested, but the thought has crossed my mind. My grandfather has it, and apparently it runs in the family and can skip a generation. I have no health insurance, so it's going to be hard for me to go and see a gastro...
  • Just goes to show you.... How dibilitating pain is.

    I hear so many people say (myself included) that they have a high pain threshold. Bang your finger in the door? Sure it hurts, but - no probs - bounce right back.

    Stub the pinky-toe in the middle of the night? OUCH! But, hey, I'm tough - I can handle it.

    Back/neck/arms/legs start hurting? Ok. I can deal with it - it's only temporary.

    Several weeks down the line.... still no relief? OK I'll go to the doctor.

    WHAT? A MEDICALLY DIAGNOSED ORTHOPEDIC/NEUROLOGICAL PROBLEM? WHAT? Okay - let's fight this thing. Give me what you got.

    Fast forward to 12 months or more with the same neck/back/arm/leg pain - no significant relief... Try conservative treatment; no relief. Physical therapy - no relief. Surgery - ok some relief, but now you have other problems relative to the surgery (hardware? maybe the surrounding tissues have rejected this foreign object.... failed surgery? inability to just get rid of the pain?)

    Fast forward even further.... Now you're taking heavy duty narcotic pain medication because you can't even get out of bed and function.

    I said all this to say, no matter how tough or strong or able-bodied you are... when chronic pain moves in, it knocks you on your knees and takes over your mind, body, spirit, loved ones, relationships and your ability to earn a living if you aren't careful.

    That's why I am so grateful for websites like this where people can share experiences, knowledge and shoulders.

    I couldn't say it enough when I first joined, and the only reason I don't say it so much now is because I don't want to come off sounding like a dweeb, but THIS PLACE (AND THESE PEOPLE) ROCK!

    Best wishes to you all.

    Jeaux :<

  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,726
    Amber,

    Chronic pain is one of the most dangerous problems around.
    WHY? Because its something people dont see. You can be suffering so much, but to many outsiders you look normal.
    But that 'Beast', that Chronic Pain animal is so fierce.
    Its like an untamed unruly caged up animal that just wants to go a vicious rampage and attach and wreck havoc for some.
    All of this just wears you down. Its hard to explain to others who do not know what chronic pain is like. But here, there are so many others that know exactly how you are feeling and know what you are going through.
    Right here on these forums is one of the brighter spots people fighting chronic pain have on their side.
    We are all here and understand what you are going through
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com

  • This has been the best website for me and others. I've dealt with migraines, epilepsy,back pain, sciatica, but honestly didn't really consider myself one with chronic pain. I just tried to bite the bullet and keeping on going, I didn't know anyother way to deal with it.

    I'm not a very open person either, guess that stems from dealing with epilepsy most of my life up until six years ago when I went through brain surgery, which was a hug sucess. I never wanted anyone to know what I dealt with and how it effected me it was really hard sometimes and I had no one to talk to. That's why this site/chatroom have been a godsend for me, I can be open and vent about my pain and try to comfort someone else that deals with chronic pain.

    I just want to say thank you for all your support since I've been coming here for almost four months. I'm still dealing with sciatica since the back surgery in May of this year, but hanging in there and Hoping for the best.

    God Bless You All,

    Cindy4hope
  • jeauxbert,

    Even though my pain is similiar in some areas and different in others I couldn't have begun to explain what's been happening to me any better than what you said. How did you know how and what I was thinking and feeling?

    Thanks,
    missb :)
  • Like everyone here, "Been there; Done that".

    :<
  • I love you guys! It feels good to post when you are not feeling great, because the love and support is what makes you keep on going. And to all my buddies out there, you know I am here for you too!
  • Quote:
    OMG!!!

    jeauxbert,

    Even though my pain is similiar in some areas and different in others I couldn't have begun to explain what's been happening to me any better than what you said. How did you know how and what I was thinking and feeling?

    Thanks,
    missb Smile




    I felt exactly the same thing when I read that post!! It was a perfect description of the last 4 yrs. of my life! My biggest problem lately is trying to explain to friends and family, who saw me as a powerhouse of energy for most of my life, what I'm trying to cope with now. They make comments about my taking narcotics for so long. Or they tell me maybe I just need to push myself to go out more. They don't understand that some days it's a major struggle to get into a sitting position when I wake up! Or that there are days that the pain (even with meds) gets so bad that I can barely think clearly enough to do a simple task. Trying to answer all the questions and constantly defending myself is totally exhausting.
  • I must agree, jeaux has a pretty good grasp on what we all have ben through. I do admire you amber for not giving up and staying in the workforce. I did it for four years and after my failed surgery I just can't do it anymore.
  • That has been the hardest for me. As you described yourself as once being a powerhouse. I was one once also, always on the top of my game whatever the circumstance family matters, work, everything. Now, I am a shell of what I once was and that in it's self is so hard to bear. I just wish I could somehow just even for one second have them feel what I feel and maybe they wouldn't be so quick expect or judge.

    I hope things get better for you.
    missb
  • It's really hard to stay at work during these times, and actually finding an employer who understands just as hard. So far they have been there for me. I am very lucky for this. But I just have this feeling that I am going to miss too much work, not that I am wanting to, and they are going to have to make a business decision and hire someone else, because they have to make money you know? ~X(
  • Are you in my head? I couldn't have said it better
    Sagehen
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