Booo. They finally gave me my date, and it's not until October 16th. I was hoping to have a nice Thanksgiving but... Looks like that's not gonna happen.
I know some people have to wait a lot longer, and some people have it a lot worse... I'm just being a baby and venting. Here's to another 6 weeks of sitting home and dwelling on how bored I am, and how much I hate not being able to work & stressing over bills and everything else.
I'm being unreasonable. I know I am. But venting makes me feel a little better. Some people have had back problems for as long as I have been alive. I am being selfish being sad over not being able to do anything fun with my boyfriend or son, and not being able to clean my house. There are a lot worse things than sitting at home in bed for most of the day, in a messy disgusting tornado of a house. I miss hiking, and camping, and going to visit family and being able to sit in a chair and chat for a while. Or muscle spasms keeping me awake. I'm just freakin tired. It sucks having to get up and take care of your child on only a few hours of interrupted sleep.
I think I'm just having a problem with stress. I'm on Wellbutrin SR 450mg a day because I was getting horrible chest pain everyday, and after multiple tests, they couldn't find anything physically wrong. I have so much drama going on right now... My extended family is really divided over money issues between my cousin and I, and she's starting so much drama... Refusing to accept my checks, harassing my landlord. I'm worried that he's going to get fed up and kick us out
Everyone looks at me so condescendingly because I'm 22 and haven't worked for the past year and a half. I hate being judged. I have so much to do in the next two weeks to get my son ready for Kindergarten, and I am not even organized and that's a big mess. One of my kitties almost died this week... Severe anemia. That stressed me to the max. One of my other kitties just went missing. I had a jewelry party planned that I was looking forward to November 22, but from what I've heard, you shouldn't yet be sitting for hours a month in to recovery. I hope the lady isn't mad at me for canceling. I have like... 20 bucks for the next two weeks and I somehow have to get my son school uniforms by the 8th. Having drama with the BF, and feeling pretty alone lately. My son's father keeps blowing us off so I never have a day off to relax.. I know not all of this has to do with back problems, but I guess finding out I have to wait 6 more weeks to get this thing over with and start recovery just kind of pushed me over the edge.
I apologize for sounding ungrateful. I don't know why it makes me so sad, but it does. No one has to bother replying... I don't expect anything to think it's justified.. I know I'm being unreasonable. Just had to vent.