Below is a journal entry I typed just the other day. This whole entry is incredibly long so read it when you have some time. It is me venting and it is showing the frustration/sadness/hopelessness I feel on a daily basis so much so that I am considering suicide. I have basically lost the will to live but I am afraid of the consequences of suicide. If you have any answers or advice I could sure use some. I realize this entry is a lot and is very deep so it may be overwhelming. That is exactly how I am feeling. A good portion of it is describing my spirituality and my weakening faith. I am really like so many of you looking for hope and struggling with my life every day. I feel like I am at the end of my rope and still no hope/relief comes. I am sure this will be evident in this long journal entry.
Rest of the topic was deleted because of foul language
Ron DiLauro, Spine-Health Administrator, 09/08/08