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The Days Are Too Long

HaylieCatOwnerHHaylieCatOwner Posts: 117
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:23 AM in Depression and Coping
Hi, I am still new (just posted an intro on the new member board). I hope it's not too soon to post here. I had my microdiscectomy (spell?) on Friday and was released on Sat. I am staying at my parents until I can go home (which I am worried is a burden on them--something my father has already alluded to). I'm having a hard time just with coping with day to day things. The days seem so long. There's only so much you can watch on tv, and as ya'll know, it's hard to focus on reading. The four weeks leading up to the surgery I was somehow stronger. I was in such pain that I could not even sit up. Living flat on my back (mostly on my parents' couch) has finally gotten to me, I guess. All I know is I'm crying a lot and wondering how I can transition back into a normal life. I have some pain in my right leg, some general pain in my bo-bo, and that numbness in my foot (especially the pinkie toe) is still there. Nothing really unexpected. Certainly much better than I was. I have that to be thankful for, and I am trying to walk and do what I am supposed to do according to the doctor's notes. It's just the sadness and depression I am having a problem with. I've said things I don't mean and thought things I never would have thought.

The hospital experience really freaked me out. I'm a solo lawyer and victim advocate, so I've seen the health law cases (even though I don't practice personal injury myself). I thought I was so much stronger than all this. So many people here are so brave with their experiences. I don't know where my coping skills have gone. My history with sciatica that got me here was pretty uneventful up until last month. I had some hip pain over the past 7 years or so. I had a car accident 2 years ago which seemed to increase the pain, but as long as I avoided certain chairs and positions, I was okay and would go long periods of time without pain. Then on Monday, Aug. 11, I woke up with tremedous shooting pains in my right hip and side. I couldn't sit or stand without crying out in pain. A trip to the doctor confirmed it was sciatica, and I was given pain pills and that steroid pack to take. Nothing seemed to help. Dealing with the doctors and getting things taking care of was frustrating. The pain didn't go away, so you know the next step: MRI. Then the NS telling me I needed surgery because the L1 disc was pressing on the sciatic nerve. That all took four weeks.

I've been staying with my parents and pretty much out of my life now during that time. It scares me to think about rebuilding my life. Does anyone have any tips on getting myself back together? This website has been very helpful, and I admire so many of you for what you've been through and how you have handled it.
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Comments

  • I think we all take it one day at a time and try to think positive. I know its very hard to do that every day. Im sure you are not a burden to your parents. I wish you a speedy recovery.
  • hi i am a mum of 3, new to this but desperate to connect with people who are living in pan and rying to cope, especially with young children, i am on my 3rd op and now have a screw loose in my hardware on loads of morphine etc, wish it would go away, i gues you haveproblems coping with a young family

    annette
    A wooley
  • Hi and welcome to the bestes website ever! Wish we could have met you both under different circumstances, but - kindred spirits and all that rot.

    Haylie: After surgery, it will take some time for you to get back to where you were before all your pain invaded your life. But, with baby steps, you will certainly get there. I think I probably had the same surgery as you back in '06. I felt better (as far as the pain shooting down my right leg goes) as soon as I woke up from surgery. I too have that numbness in the pinky toe and tingling in my legs and feet - but I still consider my surgery a success. Girl - if you could have seen me before the surgery! Poo-yie-yie! I am still taking pain killers (both long-acting and immediate release), muscle relaxers and sleepy time meds. I just could not function without them. As far as getting my life back to normal..... I consider where I am at this place in time to be as normal as it's going to get. 8} Sure, I still get frustrated and a little bit sad and long for the way things used to be. But my kids keep me pretty busy otherwise and therefore, I have no time for pity parties (not that you do - who does?).

    Which leads me to you, Annette. I have 3 sons (18, 16 and 11). I tell you - if it weren't for the fact that I have to get them up in the mornings, I would stay in bed all day. Which is not a good thing to do. You have to stay active and busy - as much as your body will allow. I know I definitely don't want to waste away to nothing. Sure, I can't play tennis or ping-pong, or throw the ball with my youngest (but sometimes I do anyways - :$ - I will deny that in a court of law! I almost always pay for it later. Gladly, too!). But I can still be part of their lives. Hopefully, through me, they will learn how to continue on when it seems the odds are stacked against you.

    Always listen to your body - it knows when enough is enough. But, each day (or week or month) you will be able to do a little bit more.

    Be strong, ladies. If you feel weakish, pay us a little visit here. There's lots of people on this site who have so much to offer you both. Odds are that on any given day, no matter how you feel, someone on this site has gone through it and can offer you words of wisdom and great advice as to what worked for them.

    Here's wishing you both as many pain-free moments as possible!

    Jeaux
    :B
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