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Feeling guilty about posting

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,731
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:23 AM in Depression and Coping
I shouldn't complain because life could be worse. I feel bad because so many people have the same problems as I do so I feel I shouldn't dump mine on any one else. Here goes any ways. I'm in constant pain. I can only sleep about 3 hours a day. I'm sad all the time. I pray for rainy days so I can stay in bed all day. I feel like crying alot. Thank God for my kids because when they are home I seem to do better. I am mean to my husband some times and I don't even know why. He is so good to me that he understands why I act the way I do but then that just makes me feel like the worse wife in the world. We are having a really tuff time financially but he still insists me not working until I'm able to controll my pain. He says he is planning on taking care of me for the rest of my life if need be. I have absolutely no sex drive but he is very understanding about that also. So sweet so why do I treat him like dirt sometimes? God, I wish these feelings of dispare and worthlessness would go away. I want to be normal again and be able to watch my sons football games without doping myself up and then still being in bad pain. I want to enjoy a dinner date and a little romance with my husband again. I want to be a normal 35 year old women instead of this depressed thing stuck in a body in pain. And now the feelings of guilt start because I know things could be worse so I have no place to complain. I'm sorry to be such a whiner. Thanks for "listening" to me.

Carrie
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Comments

  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,728
    Hi Carrie, Don't feel guilty that's what the forum is for. Getting your frustrations out in the open, or venting, crying, asking for help, just having people who care and relate to what your feeling, listen. Many of us feel or have felt the same as you. You didn't ask for this and I'm sure you don't deserve it either. So don't feel guilty about something you have no control over. Please try to
    accept that.
    Good luck, Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • Please talk to your doc about an antidepressant as soon as possible. I was experiencing all of the things that you speak of and being mean to my husband! This feeling of no self worth, anger and feelings of guilt are all signs of depression. I went to a doc about it got put on meds and am feeling much better now. Good luck and please keep us posted.
  • It's time you got something like painintheback says for your depression. Also you need some pain control meds. Talk to your Doctor and really amplify your pain levels so you can get some relief. I too have some issues with marital intimacy because my husband doesn't want to hurt me and my back. Hang in there and feel better soon. Thinking healing thoughts for you. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Thank you everyone for your responses. What is hard is that my dr won't give me anything more for pain. He says I will develope a tolerance. Well, I already have and thats' why I need stronger meds. I need to find a PM in my area and physciatrist too. Maybe if I can get some sleep and get my emotions under controll the pain will get better. It's hard for me to go to doctors because I have been burned by so many drs. It's hard for me to trust anyone now. I am going to start looking today and hopefully I find a good one. Thanks for helping me. I feel better just by being able to put a voice to whats going on. God bless you all because I don't know what I would do without you!

    Carrie
  • Hi Carrie,

    It's so hard to feel the way that you do and have no control over it. I have the "anger" thing too and my neurologist finally put me on an antidepressant and it's been a huge help. Someone posted a joke here, something about Larry the Cable Guy, and it said "Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.". Boy did that make sense to me! I was depressed...but enthusiastic as heck!

    If you feel the need to find another doc who will better understand your needs then you should do it. Pain is hell and there is no reason to pay someone who doesn't want you to live as full of a life as possible.

    Hang in there, we're here for you.

    Griff
  • Griff

    Your words are very kind and that joke not only made me laugh,which I need, but are so true for me. I just want to add that I like your posts because you always give nice, smart advice without being judgmental. Thank you!
  • I understand your trepidation and everyone here is welcome, and that transition from having no pain to having some all the time is very hard to accept and come to terms with. Viewing the fact that as you say your life could be worse acknowledges some acceptance of where you are in the order of thing and is the right attitude for the future and we should all evaluate our condition with the whole your are allowed to voice your own concerns in this environment.

    Many come here feeling apprehensive and we are all learning every day, we all wish things were better and coping every day is difficult, if that normality is long gone we delude ourselves thing we can act and function as before and increased our frustration in even attempting it on occasions. Accepting this is not defeatist but evaluating reality more rather than going down that continued path of frustration and despair, sometime we will fail and we all have to accept that however hard we try some things for us are now not possible. Do not feel guilty for feeling like this, it points us in another direction and focuses our minds in where we would like to go, with enthusiasm and motivation, even in the bad time positive element do come from them and we move forward with continued effort.

    Take care and good luck.

    John
  • Carrie,

    Please don't ever feel guilty for complaining to us! Yah, we all have the same issues. Yah, there are so many other things that we can complain about.

    First and foremost, you need to think about YOU. If you are feeling yucky, or down, you have to pay attention to that. If that means coming here, and venting to us, then so be it. I think probably there is no better place to vent. BECAUSE WE ALL UNDERSTAND.

    We have all been there. I personally found some relief in being able to come here with my issues, and not piling so many up on my husband.

    From personal experience, I can tell you that lack of sleep can really do a number on your emotions. I went through this when I was pregnant. All of the things you stated, anger, sadness etc. I was only sleeping for 2 hours at a time. 2 up, 2 down. My bodies way of preparing me for a baby they say.

    I was >this close< to being committed!!! Turned out, all I needed was a real good sleep. I got a cold, and the doctors said I could take benadryl for it, and that it would help me sleep. I tell you a cold never did so much for me!!! I was a new woman after a few good nites of sleep!

    Maybe your doctor can prescribe you a trial of sleep meds? Ask them for just a weeks worth, assuming they agree it is safe to take with your other meds. I know it sounds so simple, but It may be just enough to work... give it a shot.

    I am always here to listen. Venting to someone other than your significant other works wonders as well. PM me anytime, and we can talk!!

    Hugs and kisses from a friend!
    Amanda
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,726
    for posting your emotions. As you can tell by the members that have posted here, almost everyone has been in your shoes one time or another. One of the greater assets of Spine-Health is to provide an environment where members can talk to each other and be understood. People here do not pass judgment on how you are feeling. I will not try to just paint a rosy picture either, because as a quickly members will post to your concerns and try to help, when a member says something that is not realistic, not appropriate, etc, members will also tell members about that. But that is what is almost perfect here.
    Many times doctors do not want to increase pain medication dosages. Each one has their own reasons. Personally, I have found that the doctors who perform surgery are the ones that do not always agree with pain medication requirements.
    And please yes, you can say that there are many others with worse problems than you have. Look at the other side, there are so many people that do not have any problems. Its all relative and how you deal with it.
    We are here to try to help everyone.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Carrie,

    If i've learned anything from this site...its this:

    When we all cry together, it doesn't seem to hurt as much.

  • My heartfelt thank you to every one. I now don't feel so alone. I have decide to go to conselling. Next week I go for an evaluation to see what kind of help I need and we'll take it from there. Many blessings to my Spiney friends and I will pass on the kindness you all have shown me.

    Carrie
  • That's the beauty of being here!

    I appreciate the kind comment too Carrie. It was much needed today. See? Sometimes you reach out and end up helping others :)))

    I finally found a therapist that I really like and I'm so glad that I did. I just wish she wasn't so busy! When you go just be as honest as possible. That was the hard thing for me, the admittance that I was losing the battle.

    Carrie, PM me anytime if you need to talk, okay?

    Griff
  • Hey, Don't feel guilty. I do it sometimes and I feel guilty but I know one thing if this board wasn't here, I probably be dead. This board means a bunch to me. I hope you find it much useful as I do. It really does help. I better go my mom is fussing again. Sheeze..
    Love Always,
    Jess
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