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Finishing School

cla_guaccla_gua Posts: 186
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:23 AM in Depression and Coping
I'll be finishing LVN/LPN nursing school in December. It has been a tough year physically and emotionally. But it's just around the corner. I have been very nervous and depressed lately instead of happy and excited. I don't know what I am going to do. Can I really work as a nurse? Was I kidding myself that I could do it? I am so scared. I know that if I even open my mouth about my neck nobody is going to even hire me. And yes I am going to have to work.

I've tried to be strong but my anxiety is taking over. I don't think I can keep it together anymore. I almost don't want Decemeber to get here. I feel like I have been throw down my bottomless pit yet again.

Clarissa

Large bulge c5-6, minimal bulge c6-7 and c7-t1-the one I am worried about because it's in the thoracic area.
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Comments

  • :) there are lots of jobs you can take on that don't require you bending over and lifting patients. full steam ahead and you will be done in no time. congratulations! <:P a little anxiety would seem to be normal. you will be starting a new life and that is bound to be stressful. relax and know you will wind up right where you should be! Jenny :)
  • I'm sure it took a lot of guts and stamina to get thru the training, and you are about to complete it! I know you'll keep in mind your limitations--and be smart. I know (from some of your posts) that you are doing everything you can to take care of yourself! My neck issues are always on on my mind and remind me to be careful! You have worked hard and have a lot to look forward to!---Mazy
  • Thank you all for your kind and uplifting comments. I am just sad. I know what my limitaions are and am not happy with it. But I'll just have to cope like I have for a year and four months. It is just sometimes I imagine what it would have been like to enjoy working without this problem, living without this health issue. I am sure everyone does. I just needed to tell someone. I couldn't keep it in anymore. I felt like exploding. Thanks to everyone for being so great and supporting. I really needed it.

    Thanks,
    Clarissa
  • Clarissa,
    E Goffman the eminent social psychologist wrote in his book Stigma about this very topic, the notion to disclose to others the secret you have been keeping. Living in a world when some people know and others do not, who you told, if everyone and when.

    Disclosing here in a closed environment was a good move, is encourages you that the future is more positive having revealed your secret, it is suggested that 1 in 4 will suffer some form of depression and they are not disclosing this to potential of existing employers. You are realistic to know your limitations and to some extent having an ongoing issue can be a problem, you may well be asked on securing employment if you have any health issues and non disclosure may invalidate some cover should anything happen in the future having knowledge of this prior to starting that you had a problem.

    As spine patients this is a dilemma of employment we all face, to tell or not, for me my years of restriction made it difficult to hide and I made a conscious decision to embrace my difficulty, it is not as if I had this condition intentionally. As you in having told those who needed to know, I was helped and supported more in the specific needs that I have, and protected by law in that my disclose would not be used against me or discriminate against me. My son is disabled and will also endure this idea of telling, which for him will be impossible to hide.

    May I wish you well in your career and you have worked hard to get here and deserve support, it is a noble thing to dedicate your effort for the benefit of others and a wonderful gift, I have spent many months in hospital and as a patient I thank-you for your impending care and understanding.

    Good luck and take care, well done you.
    John


  • Thanks John. Your message was very beautiful. I wish I was as articulate.

    I have been contimplating the fact that my condition might cost me a good job. Hospitals do physicals and I know I will be in the situation to as you said "disclose my secret". As you brought out the ethical part of having to tell my potential employer of my condition is the right thing to do but very scary. I think subconsciously part of my stress is being in this inevitable situation.

    I'll just have to what and see what happens.

    Thanks again,
    Clarissa
  • Clarissa,
    Many choose not to divulge the limitation that they have and to some extent if you could perform the duties and physical aspect that are attributed to your chosen profession then it may not necessarily for any disclosure. It mandates us to be more honest with ourselves, which others may not have to divulge and it is not fair.

    I understand that it puts you in a difficult situation and by not disclosing still means to have to deal with attempting to perform on a regular basis, repeated and problematic tasks. I had to change employment and seek out a job that was suitable to the restriction of my chronic pain, the disclosure of my condition did empower me, in that I had some control of what was going on, the reality of my limitations was a shock to me and made me more aware of the ramification of my overall capacity. It gave me some authority to be myself and not feel guilty in that inability to do things was not my fault and was performing irrespective of the pain, while enduring it.

    My sister was terminally ill and we talked at length about disclosing to the appropriate department the nature of her illness and implication for her existing employer, it initiated the necessary support and she wished she had told them sooner, I understood her reluctance, some people she never told while helping them, a poignant reminder of her treasured gift.

    How is it going any news on the employment front.

    Good luck to you.

    John
  • Hiya >:D<
    Congratulations! <:P Well Done! =D> There are all types of nursing posts that you can go for, that are no so hands on :) . Nursing today there are so many policies and procedures set in place #:S , that as for lifting and handling, you do not have to actually do #:S , because there are hoists and slide sheets that you can use :) .I have been in your situation where it was a should i , shouldnt i tell them :S . I sat back and looked at the whole picture, for example, work mates, patients, and so on :S . I come to the conclusion that i should tell because i owed it to them, and i was putting everyone at risk :? . If your back was to go when handling a patient you would never forgive yourself :? . Good Luck! Keep us posted! :H


    Angie x
  • John-Helloe. I haven't finished school yet. My last day is December 12 and I'll be taking state boards sometime in January. I can work with a three months permit. I just finished a rotation in a low income clinic. I loved it. I left my name and number with the office and they said they would call me in January when an position is going to open in for their OB/GYN office. I hope it works out. The most physical part is setting up test for the Dr. I think it will be great for me. If I don't get the job there I am going to look for something similar in a private Drs office, maybe even for an orthopedic or neurosurgen who knows. I am feeling a bit better. Thank for all your help. I'll keep you posted on what happens. I started exercising again. I want to be in good shape when I start working.

    Clarissa
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