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My give a d@mn is busted

downinmyheartddowninmyheart Posts: 497
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:24 AM in Depression and Coping
Since this latest pain cycle has been peaking, I have *really* had a hard time concentrating at work. Really!

I am playing the waiting game to see which surgery I might be having, disc replacement or fusion. In the mean time I am distracted at work by the pain. If I take a pill I feel slightly better, but then am kinda dopey and slow. All I really want to do is go home most of the time. I want to be able to lay in my bed when my back says to, or walk outside and listen to the birds chirp in my trees, take hots showers or baths went the urge hits, lay on the floor with my legs up in a chair.

I have really had a hard time caring about what happens at the office. I manage a 460 unit apartment community. I have over 700 residents, and a staff of 12. Needless to say, I need to be on my toes in order to keep up with things. I ain't on my toes. I've gotten a case of short timers disease cause I know that I am going to be out for a few months possibly never to return.

Anyone got any coping skills or mechanisms that they would like to share? Or alternately, wanna gift me tons of money?


One Love,

Stephanie
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Comments

  • i wish i had ideas for you i really do.
    but i don't. what your doing is already right.
    well working i know has to stink i did it in pain, but went on short term disablity before surgery.
    wish i could throw you money to BUT BUT BUT ya know :*

    your already doing relaxing things while home. i imagine your getting up and walking around at work so you are not sitting so long.
    do you have a heating pad at work?? i plugged mine in under my desk.
    i also had a lavender neck wrap i put in a microwave for my neck and shoulders.
    took my meds of course all day . but i also did not have to drive, we rode together since we worked 10min from each other.

    i wish i could take it all away with a majic wand, but my wand doesn't want to seem to work right now.

    i hope for your sake the decsion is made soon on the fusion or adr. i would be screaming by now SAYING GET ME IN, DO THE SURGERY AND GET IT OVER WITH ok thats just me :D

    hang in there to the best of your ability sweetie, easier said then done. but of course you know and i know until surgery is done and over you just won't know O:) >:D< :* >:D< O:)
  • "Sometimes you just gotta say; WTF?" (Risky Business)
  • I love a man that can quote movies!!! :B
  • At work I try to set really small goals, get this purchase order done, then go and walk around, come back and do the next thing. If think about all that I have to do, it seems like too much. I have found that the combination of pain and medication makes me forgetful, so I always have paper and a pen, and I use my Outlook a lot. The calander and tasks help me make sure I don't miss any of the big stuff. I also try to make lists for my employees, so that if I have to take the day off, they still know what needs to be done. I hope you start feeling better soon.
  • Yes, I have found that I suffer from CSR many days as well. I do appreciate your suggestions. They are indeed helpful.
  • You are the bestest ever!!!!

    I do so hope that you to are feeling better and with a quickness.

    I am just ready for the change. Anxious, excited, anticipating, a little nervous, and definately tired of the way things have been.


    One Love,

    Stephanie
  • I have had "short timers" a few times. First time was when I got ready to retire from the military and then subsequent times when I was getting ready to have surgery and would be flying back to the states. So 4 major times that I had to deal with it. The way I managed, was to focus my efforts on getting things ready to run in my absence. Instead of going to work every day and trying to make it through each day, I would go to work with the focus of getting things ready for me to be gone. I would sit down and make a list of everything that had to be set up or completed or projected ... etc ... and as snookie says, take on one thing at a time. As I would complete something I would check it off my list. As my list grew smaller I felt more and more at ease and less "stuck". Things would come up and get added to the list, but I knew the primary list was the goal each day. I also knew in my mind, that I would be getting relief soon and that all of this was worth the effort.

    This last time I did such a great job, that when I did come back to work for a couple weeks, I knew that there was no reason for me to have to give a 2 week notice when I came to the conclusion that the docs were right and I needed to quit. So I was able to walk out of there the same morning I informed them of the decision to quit. Everything was already set up to run without me. That way I had no guilt about dumping something on another individual.

    "C"
  • I really think that is what has been keeping me up nights lately. I have worked very hard, as have my staff, to make a difference at this community. We have broken numerous records and reached many goals over the last year. I feel like it is going to pot, and that my employees need a strong and with it leader. I don't feel like one most days. I just concentrate on getting out of here. Thank you for reminding me that I am still responsible to myself for doing the things that are within my control at the moment.

    I appreciate you taking the time to read. Now, let's see if I can actually apply these principles...

    One Love,

    Stephanie
  • You can still keep things from going down the tube. I had an assistant that I made sure was at least informed of what would need to be done in the future and deadlines and points of contact etc... Kind of made a guideline for my position and included the upcoming deadlines and who I was working them with.

    You're right, you still have control over what you are doing at the moment. You still have the time to get things cleaned up and set to run. I bet you'll even find that it makes you feel better about yourself and also make the future less daunting and more enticing.

    No problem reading about your frustration. I completely understand and hope you can work it out to where you feel a bit better. When I made my list, what I did was went and got one of those small whiteboards. I wrote the list on that and set it prominently in my office where I would see it all the time. As I completed one of the tasks I would check it off. Not erase it, but check it off. That way I could feel a sense of accomplishment and stay focused.

    Hang in there,

    "C"
  • I know how hard it is to work through the ongoing pain. By now I really know that I feel much better in the early morning, and by noon time my focus really starts to go because of the pain. So, I try to put the more difficult tasks on my schedule for the morning. Then in the afternoon I can focus on more of the mindless stuff.

    Also, if you can find someone to start to teach your job to that will make you more at ease. At my office they made a new staff co-account manager with me. At first I kind of resented the help, but now I am so grateful that someone else can step right into what I do and I don't have to worry about it.
  • I really appreciate it. My assistant is great. I just feel guilty because I know that I am not giving 100% right now. I am not able to, or more realistically, my 100% has changed.

    One Love,

    Stephanie
  • Stephanie,

    Check in with us. Wondering how you are doing.

    "C"
  • Truth be told. I am hurting, and I am waiting on my NS to call me and it is getting late. I don't think he is going to call today. I need to know when surgery can be schedule so I will know if I will be traveling to Chicago in the next month. I have TONS of year end accounting to get started and wrapped up. I am feeling down on myself and overwhelmed. My perception is really clouded by pain and fear today. I am appreciative of your concern and curiousity though. :)

    One Love,

    Stephanie
  • >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D<

    Hoping tomorrow is better and that you hear from your NS soon.

    >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D<
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