Be honest with your self are you giving it your best to recover?
I woke up this morning and had terrible guilt. I can't stop thinking about what my Sergeon said to me. He asked if I felt that i have been taking a active role and really trying hard with my recovery and physical therapy. The more I think about it i'm not so sure that I am, do we let the pain get to us so bad that we give up and don't try. I do go to PT 2xs a week for 1hr. 1hr is a long time, I do PT for my neck, low back, SI joints, and arthritis in knees. Also have 3 very active kids, and only 30 yrs old.
I do home exercises and use the elastic band when I am sitting alot, but I do not do them every day. He thinks I should get my heart rate up to 140-150 for 30 min. I tried it and could not get up the next day. I want to be more active but I do hurt I can feel my hardware every screw and its always tender around it. I do get extremely bad muscle spasamas and know its making me very tight and effects my pain. I know at this point my hardware is giving me pain. The more active I am the more I hurt, How am I gonna get past this.
We had this conversation because I realy need to get in better shape, no weight issue. I have ony been able to do pt for 6months out of almost 3 years of 7 surgeries. I am aware that I need a refusion on my neck the hardware is loose and the bone did not fuse. Its pain full but not severe little nerve issues, also a disc is giving me trouble avove my lumbar fusion, it hurts but not bad enough to want surgery wanna wait till better shape and get hardware removed at same time.
I am just feeling so guilty like I am not trying enough. I honestly don't feel like I do enough therapy, but then on the on other hand I do hurt and don't wana cause more pain. I'm so confused and just wana know if you feel the same. I feel like just giving up as if i'm just going to have chronic pain forever and thats life. Am I being a baby about what has happened with surgeries? I just don't know where to go from here. I honestley feel like I have had so many surgeries why bother I still need more.