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Ready to give up but don't even know how to do that!

brynellenbbrynellen Posts: 9
I am so tired of living with pain! I have these 2 little boys that need their mom to be more patient and pain free. My problem is that I stay home with them and am not getting any relief for my back. My last MRI showed a lot of scar tissue and swelling. I have so much nerve pain still, pain from my out of whack SI joints and most likely a new herniation at L4-L5 causing pain and tingling in the front of my leg. I saw my chiro the other day and he's sure it's because I'm lifting my 22lb baby all day long. I quit my parttime job because the stress of 2 kids and working was too hard on my back. Geeez, should I go back to work and put the kids in daycare so I don't have the phyiscal stress of taking care of them? But I feel that I had my kids to be with them! I don't know what to do for the pain when it seems that no matter what I do it's not going to get better because I'm lifting my baby. I am finding myself with no motivation to even exercise because nothing helps and I'm really fearful that I'm getting very depressed. I would sure appreciate any help! My husband is really sick of this (though he's never said anything, you can just tell.) He never asks how I'm feeling, never voluntarily helps out, etc. My inlaws are sick of it. My mom is the only person to talk to about it and I'm sure she's sick of it, too! Who wouldn't be?!!? I try so hard to be optimistic and happy, but it's just getting dang hard. I'm scared, depressed, and frustrated. I have been trying to get back to my 'old' life and the more I do, the more I hurt. I worked at the election polls yesterday (something I am passionate about) and the pain from sitting that long is excrutiating still today. I took my kids to church Sunday (another thing I love) and was so wiped out after that hour that I had to lie down the rest of the darn day and missed a party I really wanted to attend. I'm sorry this got so long....I'm just truly at the end of my rope and need a shoulder to cry on, some guidance, anything! Thanks for listening!
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Comments

  • First of all, there's always a way out of this funk. You just have to find the right hand, rope, door, set of stairs or elevator to get there.

    I found that I could not reclaim my "old life". That was one of the hardest pills to swallow. I did find that I could make a new life that was similar but actually richer. Before I was injured, I really didn't care for people on as deep of a level as I do now. I cared more for life, "my life" than anything else. Doesn't mean I was selfish or self centered, just meant that I wasn't as "tuned in" to the people around me.

    Only you can figure out what is best for your situation as far as whether you should go back to working part time or figure out a way to make taking care of the kids all day easier on yourself. When's the next time you see the doc?

    As far as family and friends, that's always a tough one, but doable. I worried tremendously about my husband, since he instantly went from having an active outdoors, working out and just spur of the moment going places wife, to being a caretaker of someone who couldn't do any of that anymore. I didn't like where I was at or where he was at. So I found things I could do to take the load off of him without hurting myself. Little things like doing dishes and doing laundry even though it would take me hours to do, I was proud of the accomplishment and he was thankful to not have to do that.

    I had him come to the doctor with me and that had to be the single most turning point in how he viewed my situation. The doc was awesome about showing him why I was in so much pain and what was happening or not happening.

    I wish I had more time to write, but I must get going. I wanted to let you know that there is a way out of this. We can all help you find it, you just got to let us help you.

    "C"
  • }:) We can all relate to your frustrations as we have gone thru the same or very similar stuff. And its hard. Have you seen a pain management specialist?? Cortisone injections can be helpful but are usually just temporary. A rhyzotomy or facet ablation burns or stuns the nerve endings and that can help with the pain for longer periods of time.

    Jani

    14 surgeries including L4/L5 laminectomy, L4/L5 360 fusion with instrumentation, L1-L5 fusion with instrumentation, SI joint dysfunction, multiple cortisone injections and rhyzotomies.
    L4/L5 laminectomy, L4/L5 360 fusion with instrumentation, L1 to L5 fusion, L5/S1 fusion w/ disc replacement, left and right SI joints fused.
  • to hear of your troubles. We will be your support system. There is usually always somebody here to talk to so free to talk to us anytime that you want or need to. We will never get sick of it.
  • If I were you I would definitely put the kids in daycare and go to physio and if you want a part time job. They have great childcare centers even that look after your kids while you do excercise tai chi or yoga. Check out your community center. You shouldn't be lifting your 2 year old so much. is there pool therapy at the center or physio. You need to work at getting your back better and have a life with less pain. Look for family members to help if daycare not available. Had my family asked I would've babysat while they had a night out. If you make your back worse with the lifting you'll really put your back out. I hope you get the support you need, even if it's to come here and talk. Take care of You! Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • hey brynellen
    i hear yah. i have a seven yr old and i am divorced. i just recently started picking himvup from school and spending time with him as a mom should.

    however, when it comes to taking care of u u need to put u first. u will not be able to care for kids if u are unable to take care of yourself.

    this was a tough pill for me to swallow since i have been dealing with this injury since May. put the kids in daycare for two days a week or three days a week to get a break. kids love other kids and they will have a blast.

    remember . . . everything has a way of working out.
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