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Anyone know what happened to this woman from here? (link enclosed)



  • I missed that post. Probably a good thing I did.
  • LOL Shar, heheheh, <<keeping mouth shut>>
  • That woman is DELUSIONAL.

    She gives me cramps. That's weird. I hope she doesn't come back unless she is willing to have some damn humility. People were trying to help... I can't stand that attitude... She was very condescending and insulting and offensive when people were attempting to do something in her favor,.. Things that are of no benefit to themselves. Sad that there are adults with such childish mentalities out there. It was like watching a high schooler argue with their parent, school counselors, teachers, etc... Everyone who knows better than them, but they are oblivious and ignorant and too thick headed to listen to.

    UGH. That would NOT sit well with me. You should thank people for offering well wishes and support... Not attack them. What a beast. Sorry for being so blunt, but I'd be ashamed if my mother or any of her friends were as immature, arrogant, childish, and MEAN as that one.
  • this was before my time, but i wonder how she's doing--also wonder what meds she was on--cuz that level of denial/delusion--i wann be there if only for a day!lol
  • Seriously. I bet you she isn't coming back, because she'd look like a fool having to admit her magic attitude didn't fix everything with the snap of her surgeon's fingers. She is probably embarrassed and should be ashamed of herself for acting so evil and vicious. I have read nearly the entire thread by now, and I am thoroughly disgusted. Dilaurio put it wonderfully... I'm glad he said something, whether she took it to heart or not.
  • All of her rudeness aside, I would be interested in hearing how long it DID take her to get back to work, and how her pain level was after surgery, since she was so sure she wasn't going to be taking Narcotics.
  • She was someone else here too that was...well that is no longer here I believe.I think that was her alter ego.

    Of course I could be wrong...and if so I hope the surgery went as well as planned.
  • She probably went to the psych ward after surgery. Not that there's anything wrong with that.... Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • If I were in her shoes and read this wonderful "welcome back" ................

  • I would say she's probably laying flat on her back right about now sleeping after all the percocet for pain and the valium for the muscle spasms. =)) I have to admit that I was laughing my butt off through most of her part of the posts though. Whichever one of you said this woman is delusional hit the nail on the head. I'm just sorry I missed it since it happened just days after my surgery and I was such a mess I couldn't even THINK about turning on my computer then. Geez. I wish I could muster up all of her postitive thinking because I am POSITIVE my shoulders hurt like H E double toothpicks right now! That whole post was just unbelievable! Mods can that be removed? I would hate for someone new to try to compare themselves to this self annointed Super Woman
    Thanks for the entertainment tonight Cindy!
  • I agree. Egg on her face would probably not suit her very well. But just for the record. My doctor did tell me that I could go back to work the Monday after my surgery "if I felt like it". He knew better. :) That's why he made sure I had prescriptions in hand on my way out the hospital door and didn't have me come back for 2 weeks because he knew I was not going to be feeling very well. Hopeless, I couldn't agree with you more!
  • I was out of surgery and in recovery by 2:30 p.m., and my doctor said I could go home or stay -- my choice. I stayed. Later that evening, I asked for pain medication. My doctor said I shouldn't be in much pain and ordered Xtra Strength Tylenol!!!!!!!

    When I saw him at post-op, 8 days after my 2-level cervical fusion, he said "no collar" and "life as normal". He said I could go back to work the next day full-time, but if I had disability insurance, I could rest and recover.

    Well, despite how good I've truly done (no, I didn't return to work yet), today I had a rough day. I felt like a mack truck hit me!!! I've been up and around, trying to be "normal", but it certainly took its toll on me.

    Oh yeah . . . once home from the hospital, I took the Vicoden his PA-C prescribed for me, LOL.

    What I've learned from this forum board and my experience is that everybody is different, and everybody's surgeon's are different!!! I'm not the most positive person in the world, but I tried to concentrate on taking care of myself after surgery -- and not letting others do everything for me. I'm still recovering, I know that (as evidenced by today)!
  • image:)" alt=">:)" height="20" />
    Love that 1st response from agriman.
    On the sunny and mild Central Coast of California

    L4-L5 endoscopic transforaminal microdiscectomy June, 2007
    L5-S1 endoscopic transforaminal microdiscectomy May, 2008
  • I think it is sad that so many of you think this woman is delusional and a psych patient.
    She really is trying to do the best thing for herself and her health and she got shot down from every angle.

    Why is it that we cant just applaud her for her positive thinking and intentions without having to put in a 'but you wont be able to do it' attached to the end.
    No wonder she got defensive and frustrated.

    I sincerely hope the Demurevenus was able to have her surgery and return to work within a week as she wanted.

    Blessings Sara O:)
  • I am so glad this was before my time as well. I felt bad enough (physically and emotionally) after having to spend two nights in the hospital for what was supposed to be a simple day procedure.

    Not only did I have anaesthesia complications but I too was "thrashing" in recovery. (good term btw-it describes it perfectly) I also had 11 staples instead of the 4 stitches I was supposed to have.

    I hope this person realizes that we are all trying to do the best we can with what we have. But when you

    have spent 2 days yakking up everything BUT your stomache and are having to rely on constant care from feeding to toileting even Mother Teresa herself might feel somewhat 'less positive'

    For the rest of us I wish you enough strenght and love to just make it one more day knowing each day becomes a teensy bit easier.

    Take care of yourselves my friends--we have enough superheros in the world already. xo
  • NOBODY shot down her positive attitude. In fact, many people applauded her for it... But she was RUDE, condescending, arrogant, smug, insulting, offensive, and childish. She didn't have to agree with what others were saying, but they were trying to help... You don't respond to someone trying to help by insulting them and acting like a jerk. She IS delusional. To think you're going to be back to work 5 days after a 2 level fusion, and to think that positive attitude is comparable to Morphine... Is ridiculous. She is delusional and a jerk. She should be ashamed of herself for treating people as poorly as she did. Very ashamed. I don't think I have ever seen an adult act so horribly and so immature. She acted like a middle school kid. There is no excuse for lashing out at people just because you don't like the help they offered. She asked for people's experiences and they gave them to her. She didn't like what she heard, so she flipped a nut. Unless she is a child and doesn't know any better, there is no excuse. Everyone there tried to offer help and was so nice to her... And on top of all that... She kept contradicting herself and making no sense.
  • Someone on the original post had a great point... If her positive attitude is so comparable to Morphine and so powerful that she won't need pain meds after surgery and KNOWS she will be fine... Then how come she needs surgery? How come her positive attitude doesn't cover that pain, then? Morphine wouldn't help with it? I don't believe that for a second. She makes no sense. At all. That's just how it is. I think it's sad anyone would think her treatment of others is justifiable in any way.
  • I agree with Sara (above) that it's sad to see this situation. My first reaction was that she is protecting her positive attitude and thoughts at all cost and was hoping to find reinforcement. I can see where people thought she was being rude, but if we step back and look at this again, don't we all see an extremely scared person facing serious surgery who is doing her very best to cope with it?

    When I was facing my surgery and after it, I had terrible anxiety attacks and wanted so badly to have a positive attitude. I wish I had even a sliver of her energy and enthusiasm to get back into life. I am hoping things went as well as she was anticipating! I admire people who can maintain the positive attitude and thoughts, even in the midst of pain and surgery. I didn't do a very good job with that.

    One of the biggest regrets I have during the painful moments leading up to surgery was how I communicated to those around me. I broke through on the pain meds, and I spent a great part of that time at a 9 or 10 pain level. Even after the surgery, at times, I was far from pleasant, and even though I was just doing the best I could, I wish I had handled things better. Some people got fed up and gave up on me completely. I hope that's not what has happened with this person. I see her as doing the best she could to cope, and it didn't come across well. If she does come back, I hope we will give her a break and support her no matter what she is dealing with.


  • Do you also admire people who tear others down and rip them to shreds because their well wishes weren't exactly what she wanted to hear?
  • Is anyone trying to justify her cruelty towards each and every one of those people who tried to offer her help and well wishes.
  • Hello.I offer support all over this forum.Not because I want anything back,but because it helps me feel better thinking that I might help somebody in even a small way.I'm a slow typer and not that well educated..only a little nursing after HS,but I have quite a bit of common sense.Only a few times have I disagreed with another person openly on the forum,and when I am wrong about something I have no problem saying so-and making amends for my behaviour.

    If this person came back and saw this thread I would offer an apology and my support in the most sincere way(and mean it).I would ask about her surgery,work and recovery.But in my experiences-and they are many-do you really think a person with such an super woman ego would admit it if it took her longer than her proposed week to recover,or that she had to resort to pain medication..because I don't see that happening.In her most positive fashion she went out on a limb to make others-people who perhaps took longer to heal,and people who were not as positive(in her opinion),feel as if they were not up to her standards.

    That is the way I saw the posts.Not at first maybe..at first all seemed positive.Yes,this could be someone who is scared as Dr Eric and another suggested,but who isn't scared? I'm afraid of many things,but when I get feedback from people here at S~H I am grateful and I appreciate the time and thought a person took to think enough of me to write it down.I didn't see any gratitude or appreciation.

    Now that I've said all of that I will admit that I had no purpose for posting my initial post in this thread.I think I was wrong and truly have no idea why I posted or for what reason.I think it was immature on my part to be honest.Now when I came back and read all of the other posts-to which I mostly agree with but it is not important,just an opinion-gossip,I felt inclined to add this only because I posted previously.

  • =)) image:)" alt=">:)" height="20" />
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Thanks for acknowledging the fact that this person could quite possibly come back and view this thread.

    What kind of precedence is being set here? If a discussion over how fast any of us could and do make it back to functionality is desired, then let's share our personal experiences.

  • Well said. I agree with everything except I, personally, wouldn't offer her an apology until she apologizes to the scores of people she tore up.

    I don't think it was immature of you to react with emotion like a human being. I understand where you're coming from, but I don't think anyone's point is to gossip about someone who is just a screen name... They stand to gain nothing from it. I think people are just shocked at her behavior. So I do commend you for doing what you feel is right and being humble... But you shouldn't look in the mirror and tell yourself you did something bad. You didn't.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,722
    except to re-hash some inappropriate posts and too much bickering. I am not referring to people who have been posting here, but from the original subject.

    Looking out for the best for members, this thread will be closed.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • ***Really....everyone needs to take all this negative thoughts and feelings and make them positive. Is it that people have been so so so negative for so so so long that they have forgotten how to be happy and have positive ideas and thoughts. The negative energy must be exhausting, maybe that is why some of the people aren't back to work and living happily.***

    ***This forum doesn't have a whole lot of positive feed back for other people it seems some not all just want to have company in their misery!***

    ***I won't use this surgery for an excuse not to work or to miss several weeks/months of work***

    ***Also...my interesting statements are true statements. For some people it is a walk in the park,,,,for some its not it is according how your brain thinks.....negative or positive.***

    ***One more thing you decide when you awake from surgery how this is all going to go down. Either you do what the doctor ask then. Or you can wait until you feel like doing it.
    Your choice the best choice is to do it now not later. You decide if you will be able to have range in your neck or not! I will be the "right now person"***

    ***I am the glue because I own it. That is probablty the difference between you and I. I don't depend on others to do anything for me and I don't need a pity party either I am very independent, I have always been that is why I am where I am now. Yes, I am superwoman, I have always done for myself never asked for anything from anyone.***

    ~I didn't realize that it's MY fault I'm not back to work yet. Or that it's my own fault I can only touch my knees and not my toes. Or that I still have to take pain medication, because I can't stand up straight when I don't. We are all lazy. negative pieces of crap who choose to wallow in self pity... THAT is why we aren't back to work... NOT because we've just had our bodies cut open and metal drilled into our spines.

    Every reality we offer someone is really our attempt to drag them into our web of misery and suffering. Really. We only open our mouths to bring others down, and we don't want to see anyone doing well... We couldn't POSSIBLY be offering our thoughts as a means of support.

    I don't know about you guys, but I definitely lay around feeling great, but use back surgery as an excuse to sit on my behind. That's all it is, really. an excuse. It sounds good and it flies, so run with it, right?

    The entire time I've damned myself to feeling like crap. I knew my surgery would fail from the start, and that everything I hoped for was never going to come to fruition. I knew that I was weak and over sensitive and used pain meds as a vice so I don't have to deal with my own inner discontentment.

    None of us listen to our doctors. We all think they're kooks and using us to make money. Really, we don't even think we had issues to begin with. Our doctors are full of crap, and we make up own limitations and recovery rules. That's why we don't work a couple weeks after having screws and rods put into our spine. It's our choice, really. I mean, the doctors words are like foreign language to us.

    We ALL want pity parties... We all depend on others... We all rely on others, and ask the world of them. None of us are independent, and none of us are self sufficient. We are all weak, codependent, blood sucking leeches.

    I'm sorry, but anyone who knows my situation and has followed it from pre op to post op knows that I have a GREAT positive attitude toward my recovery. Has anyone heard me feeling sorry for myself and looking for sympathy? No matter the setbacks I have faced, I still look forward to the future and what it may bring. There are times, like any human being on this site, I worry about what the future might bring. But anyone who says they don't is a liar. You might not consciously acknowledge it, but it's human nature to have some level of fear toward the unknown. However... My positive attitude hasn't miraculously healed every feeling of pain. I don't expect it to. So my attitude must not be positive enough, right? I must be doing something wrong. It must be my fault that I am not running marathons right now. If I believed I could run a marathon, then my spine would heal it's other issues, grow a solid fusion right now, and heal my muscles. But I don't want to believe my thoughts are that powerful. That has got to be it.

    This post really pisses me off and this woman pisses me off, because she is an embarrassment to those of us who have sound minded positive attitudes that offer support to others, not condescending sarcastic remarks just because someone else may feel defeated that day... Or maybe might not see things right up to my views 100 percent. She insulted everyone that heals like a human being. Everyone that hasn't magically made a full recovery in the snap of their fingers. And you know... She blames it on us. So we have no right to feel pain... We brought it upon ourselves.

    I don't know why this post pisses me off so much... But it does. I can't wrap my mind around it. It is so despicable and disgusting that it literally makes me sick. I know I could just as easily NOT click the Spinehealth bookmark on my bookmark bar, and I could ignore the site for a while and pretend like this thread doesn't exist.. But I can't. I have had quite a few bumps in the road, actually... And you know what... I didn't even want to tell anyone. No real reason, really, except for the fact that I didn't want to maybe put a dent in the hope of another. I know that my recovery has been a lot less problematic than most, and that I could share my feelings and thoughts on my bad days, and not be judged for it... But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I kept telling myself, well, maybe if I don't acknowledge the pain, and don't tell anyone else about it, I won't feel it. It doesn't work that way. I have been as optimistic as possible. I really have. In the hospital, I didn't refuse to get up the next morning and walk laps, even though my pain wasn't under control, by any means. I sucked it up and did it, because my doctors said I needed to. My only frustrations were with the way I was treated by hospital staff and their lack of regard for the way they treated me... Forgetting my meds for hours, blowing my vein up into a huge bubble and when the Valium was burning the inside of my hand, not even stopping to look and just walking away, knowing my ride home from the hospital was also the caretaker of my child, and knowing he was going to be home from school soon, and taking 3 and a half hours to type up ONE page to discharge me, etc. I never blamed anyone else for my pain. I never expected anyone to fix anything for me, or to make my life any better. I don't rely on anyone but myself... And it was hard for me to take 4 days to sit in a hospital bed and have no control over what goes on in my home... I couldn't take care of my boys like I do normally, and do currently. It is INSULTING for someone to insinuate that if you don't bounce back in an unbelievable amount of time, that you are doing something wrong, it's all your fault, and you are a needy little thing that can't do anything for themselves. Maybe it shouldn't bother me to this extent... But it does. It's like, I've had enough. I don't think I'm superwoman. I do, however, get tired of people judging me for not working. It's not just this delusional woman, but other people in my life, as well. I am sorry that I still have pain, and that my neck is getting worse, and I'm getting pain in my arms again, and that my balance is so off I have literally smacked my head on a wall while standing up. This entire damn time... I have smiled and focused on the good. I have shared the gains I've made... And tried to keep the bumps to myself. I have been taking care of myself since a week and a half post op, and made my boyfriend go back to work early. I requested to start physical therapy early. I can't wait to be able to work again. So you know... I guess this woman just caused me to snap. It's like... Is this NOT good enough? What more can someone POSSIBLY ask of me? I am doing my freakin' hardest and sucking it up, and I am being so optimistic, but YEAH... I do still hurt, I do still back track, I can't work yet... I don't want my head in the clouds. I even asked for people's opinions, on whether or not I was being unrealistic with my expectations. So you know, forgive me for being fed up. Forgive me for giving it everything I've got, and basically having someone insinuate that it's not good enough. That it's my own fault I am not 100 percent cured. That I could be, but I'm too weak to be.

    I just can't fathom how someone can find those comments a positive attitude. She has the worst attitude I have seen out of an adult in my lifetime. She is one of those people who is bitter and angry and smiles to mask it so nobody notices. SHE is the miserable one who wants company. She is the one who has to talk so much non-sense in hopes of convincing herself to believe it. NOBODY here is lazy. NOBODY here deserves the pain they are feeling. NOBODY here damned themselves to where they are today. NOBODY is to blame for their body's choices and inability to do what their mind tells it to do. There are those of us who have busted our butts, and have held on tight, and have done to the best of our ability in whatever areas are under our control. There are those of us that don't focus on our own pain, but try to encourage others and offer any possible solutions we can, anything to help them find solace. Forgive us if we don't take too kindly to being insulted... Maybe we don't have any energy left to handle her crap in a productive manner. I don't. I'm sorry if that's not good enough for someone else. But I have enough on my plate as it is, and I can only do so much. I am humble enough to admit I am not superwoman, and I cannot do everything.

    I had peace, and I am tired of people destroying it with their condescending, arrogant attitudes.

    When I say I apologize, I don't mean it in a sarcastic, passive aggressive way. I mean it in a... I am too tired to fight you on this way. On a, if you think I am wrong, well... You're entitled to think that, and I'm sorry my views can't appease you. I really am. I wish we could agree, but the world doesn't work that way. We can't all be looking through the same rose colored glasses.

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