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I wish I had more time to post

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,731
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:25 AM in Depression and Coping
I just re-read the first post I posted here 6 weeks ago and all your wonderful replies. I was sooo sad when I wrote that. I remember tears streaming down my face and wondered if anyone would really care? and then your responses came and I cried with each one I read. thank you, again!

here it is December. since my fusion (in the past month) I've had 6 injections. the last two in my hips cuz they get inflammed so easily (bursitis!) no numbing anything first. I couldn't even talk after them! I looked at my husband and my eyes were watering and then I started laughing. honest to God. what an odd response. like it was so incredulous to me all the pain I've endured. the next day I could hardly walk. I've never had so much trouble walking except for after the fusion.

so... the saga continues but thankfully I don't feel I'm about to lose my mind. :)

my therapist friend left me a voicemail and said if I need therapy to call him... that I'm in denial. what the hail???!!! I was like, no I'm not! (I left him a voicemail back) I need to talk to him (he's a good friend--- I don't really feel I have the time right now to go to a counselor).

what does it mean to be in denial? am I just supposed to accept the pain and quit looking for answers? I don't understand. and I wonder how he could know what I'm going through since he's never had chronic pain? I guess as a therapist he could see that? I don't know. I'll have to call him. do I sound like I'm in denial???

I'll let you know what he says...
G.
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Comments

  • I try to never tell a lie(unless it's like the kind of lie about the rest of the chips or something-I did NOT finish them,I spilled them..into my mouth).

    I don't think that you sound like someone in denial.To me,you sound like a very analytical person,someone who likes to look at things from every angle before coming to a conclusion.Of course it's been awhile since I read your posts,but I think that was my first impression of you..and not to bring me into your question,but I can be fairly analytical myself..so I remembered seeing that in you.

    Maybe he sees something in you that he WANTS you to see?

    How do you feel about that? :))(
  • aren't you just sooo funny!!! hahahahhaha!!!!

    so... talked to my friend the therapist. he said he was just kidding about me being in denial. he wanted to get under my skin. I told him it worked! what a dork!!! he said it sounded like I was doing well actually. I didn't tell him I was on Lexapro. I haven't told ANY of my friends. NOT ONE. Only my husband and my step-daughter (she's 16) know. I wanted her to know cuz I felt so differently I wanted to share the good news with her. she doesn't live with us but is over enough to know what others don't know I deal with. so... I thought she deserved to know. anyone else, I don't know. maybe I'm embarrassed? uugh. maybe I do need therapy!!!
  • I'm not taking any antidepressants,but I used to take them for several years.I was never embarrassed,but then again I didn't tell people either.The subject came up in a conversation with my BF's mother and I told her,but if the subject had not come up I would not have brought it up.I suppose a lot of it has to do with personality-is it typical for you to tell people the meds that you take for instance.

    I've changed since I was younger-ten years ago I was not the same person in so many ways,and I would spill a lot of info-personal and otherwise into a conversation..but as I've aged I find that I'm more private with personal things or matters of the heart..but I'm a little more open if I think that my story might help someone else.

    Probably you are going through a time of introspection,or another growth spurt.I don't remember your age,but I go through these from time to time and sometimes question my motives for doing/not doing things.I'm 48 and going through 'the change' so...
  • It seems like you're getting yourself together and that could be from the lexapro helping also. Knowing that you've had your surgery and receiving injections is just what is necessary right now. If I thought of how many injections I've had so far including trigger point injections it may be really overwhelming. I don't think you're in denial and glad that was a little fun he was having. It is what it is and we hope the injections and meds help. It's good to know you're not in despair anymore but I understand it's not great to get all those injections. You're handling it well. I had to use an online therapist at first being off work and feeling so helpless was hard for me to accept so I needed someone to help me deal with a few things. I wouldn't want to go to someone who knows me though,but it's your decision. It's really great to come here and just say it as it is and get like an objective third party opinion on things. Just knowing you're not alone in your pain really helps also. I hope you're healing well and the injections help. Take care . Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • I'm 37. I could probably use some growing up. haha

    I don't talk about my meds to anyone. I tell my friends I'm still on drugs, and they know what I mean. prescription meds. but I have always been private about what meds and how much.

    about the antidepressants, I would hope it's not pride making me keep that a secret. but maybe it's some of that. I'm sure I could use a therapist... but I'd rather not take the time right now.

    I definitely wouldn't go to my friend!

    48 by no means is old, I just thought you were younger... like in your 30's.

    G.

  • yeah... I've had too many injections to count, too. these last in my hips actually helped!

    I've never heard of on-line therapists. that's cool. no drive time!

    I've been thinking of therapy every now and then like I used to think of anti-depressants. like maybe I could use them but I'm not ready to "give in". so who knows, I may end up seeing a shrink next year.

    this year has been the MOST INSANE year of my life. I'm so happy to kiss it ADIOS. don't let the door hit you in the butt on your way out, you know what I'm saying?!
    I told my husband we needed a kick-%$# new year's eve party. so... we're having all our party friends over! oh yeah. I'd invite you all if I knew who you were! :)

    Charry, can I ask how old you are? it's interesting to me to "get to know you better" in a setting like this.

    G.


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