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Back pain nerve pain burning pain.... Learning to live life is hard

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,731
I got in severe car wreck 29 June 2007, fractured both vertebrae at L5 ( bilateral spondylisthesis ) knocked out. suffered head injuries.
Started epidurals and chiropractic treatment not for long, went into pain management.
In 11 weeks I had Rt knee surgery in August, left knee surgery 2 Nov 2007 and a L5-S1 with instrumentation PLIF with 4 screws and 2 rods 6" incision lower back walked into hospital on crutches had a 5 hour surgery almost needed a transfusion.
Did 10 years in the military 2 desert tours. I am now unemployable as I was discharged 20 March 2008. for Myopathy, Nueropathy and chronic back pain and PTSD.

Its been 13 months since my surgery found the best doctor I could they told me I wouldn't walk again, I did 8 months of 2.5 hours 3 days a week of physical therapy and 5 months of water therapy 2 hours a day, in this time I also got addicted like crack to the pain pills. O.D. once pain was unbearable checked myself into a rehab center for 7 months at 59 days post op was off meds and in unbearbable pain, I was medically discharged still suffer to this day with severe 24/7 nerve pain. I was up to 20 plus loratabs a day on top of gabapentin and everything else.

Stuck it out, now on my 3rd set of custom inserts and have bought 13 pairs of shoes this years cannot where any shoes except this certain pair which minimizes the pain to walk decently.

Last week I found out my L4 is slipping and also found out I was diagnosed with Traumatic brain injury (TBI)and severe memory loss, I have to carry index cards around to remind myself of doing normal things like going get the newspaper ,putting mail in the box, feeding the dogs, making sure I try to eat 3 meals a day.

I bought a $3300 tempurpedic mattress I must say on my side with a pillow between my legs curled up in the fetal postion laying on my right side is the only way I sleep out of pain and do sleep good.

I found out today after and EMG I have S1 Radiculopathy that explains why it feels like someone has a blow torch burning my lower leg /foot off my body, I can not even walk barefoot I must where shoes and inserts even to get up at night to piss.

I'm 29 years old. My wife suffers dearly because she does not understand my pain, I'm very irritable have 3rd degree arthritis in both my knees was deemed unemployable.

Looking at me you would never know anything because I haVE NERVE PAIN ITS THE MOST MISERABLE THING IN THE WORLD.

My meds are Osteobiflex for my arthritis in my knees, Klonopin 3 a day for nerve pain it works , the nuerotin made me to tired. and the klonopin also calms me down anxiety. Tramadol 3 50 mg a day, 1 ambien for sleep, 1 lyrcia at night with the ambien, antivert for my dizziness and vomiting I'm always feling off balance, 6 motrins a day for inflammation, 2 tylenol arthritis a day, only when severe weather changes, 1-2 lidocain patches a-day, a centrum daily vitamin, rolaids and ant acids .

Most of the time my pain is so bad I wish I was dead than live with it, but I deal with it its very hard. My necks been real stiff lately and my arms have been going numb all the way down to my fingers, and my neck gets stiff and my fingers tingle.

The doctor did a good job on my back but I'm still incapable of alot I had several epidural injections prior to surgry they want to do a molygram now and start more injections.

Lifes hard and miserable and it was a hit and run 18 wheeler they caught him 2 miles down the road. My passenger suffered a broken knee and bruised ribs he doing fine now back as military police.

My life changed in the blink split second. And he left us there in uniform too die. I have alot of hatred left inside its hard to forgive when you have to live in pain the rest of your life. Sometimes I wish the wreck would have killed me cause the pain is that bad I try not to show it.

They want to now put me on antidepressants I told them no more meds I take enough.

I'm in angar management every Monday, PTSD classes every Tuesday, and waiting to get into pain management classes with the VA as soon as they start them back up.

Life's hard but I'm not dead.

I've learned never lose your quality of life issues because once they are gone you never get them back.

Get out and do things no matter what because whether you do things each day or not your gonna be in pain so try to do all and make the most of it.

Don't let it destroy you. People who have never experienced back pain, surgeries, fusions, decompressions, nerve and feet problems, brain truma. They just don't understand.

I found this site a little while ago trying to find out what this S1 Radiculopathy is they diagnosed me with today.

Good night

Steven
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Comments

  • Steven,

    I'm glad that you found Spine Health. I have been a member here since before my 1st surgery(that was a lumbar fusion in 6/07.) The support I have found here is incredible. These people actually understand what I am going through. While all of our situations are different, I at least feel "normal" here with people who understand.

    I am currently awaiting my 3rd surgery(I made a poor choice in selecting a surgeon for my first surgery.) I am currently not working. I have been through marriage counseling with my husband because of this. He is now very supportive. At one point, my nerve pain was so bad I attempted to cut off my leg(sounded like a good idea at the time, seemed better than nerve pain.)

    Anti-depressants might really help you, they at least make me not care so much about the pain and makes me less moody. My family sure does appreciate it. Warning tho: you cannot take anti-depressants and tramadol, potential life threatening condition called serotonin syndrome.

    Personally, I think Tramadol is crap for serious pain. I understand that you OD'd, but addiction and needing the narcs are two different things. Do you think that a different pain med might make life more bearable for you? Why only 1 Lyrica??? Maybe the 3 times a day dose might help control the blow torch(I have acid being poured down the back of my legs and a railroad spike being pounded into my big toe.)

    Once again, welcome to SH. I think besides information here, it can be very therapeutic to talk to folks who can understand a little bit. Check out the chat room some evening. Please keep posting and keep us updated.

    Angie
  • I understand how you feel, my pain was caused by a car wreck, and I spend 75% of the day in bed because it hurts to sit or stand. I am fairly sure if it wasn't for my antidepressants I would have killed my self by now. I am on Cymbalta, and while I am not crazy about the side effects, (especially the sweating) it is better than constantly crying, and contemplating suicide on a daily basis. However, I will worn you, you don't want to skip over one, or the crying and suicidal thoughts triple. I also understand your anger, but you have to let that go, it is not hurting anyone but you. The angrier, or the more stressed you are, the higher your pain level goes. There is nothing wrong with taking your pain meds, you just have to learn control. I live on 4 a day, but I would be much happier with 6. I also learned the hard way that morphine didn't help at all, not by choice, but because my Dr changed me from Hydros to morphine, I can't tell you how happy I was after 3 months and they changed me back.

    I'm sorry, I am just rambling now, but just remember we are all pretty much in the same boat here, so just vent anytime you need to, it works wonders on your stress level.

    Tammy
  • Hi Steven, thanks for posting. I too lurked here for awhile too, just read and thought about things.

    I spent a lot of time, searching for things that helped to make it a little easier to get by. After living with this for a number of years, I have what I call my tool-kit that I use every day. This includes all of the things, that at times decrease the pain a bit. I found that the anti-depressants do work, but I have a lot of side-effects that are negative and so I only use them when I need to force sleep. It is with them that I am dropped into Rem sleep and can get alittle rest, but it is really hard to get going the next day.

    I try to pick out the moments that I enjoy things during the day and then sew them together in my mind. In this way, at the end of the day, I only remember the good things and try to flush the negative. For me- that allows me to have a quality of life.

    I certainly can understand where your words are coming from.

    Hope your feeling a bit better. Know that your not alone!
  • Steve, thank you for your service. I served as well, in the army from 2000-2005.

    I am in awe of your courage to overcome your ailments. Although I think that malpractice and frivilous law suits are helping to destroy this nation, your case is crystal clear. I'm sure you sued this trucking company, correct?

    And, hopefully, your medical board prior to discharge awarded at a high level? I'm thinking you had to be 80-100%?

    Good luck man
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