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I Need Advice From Anyone Who Has "Fired" Their Doctor, Pleeze

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,670
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:26 AM in Pain Management
Good day all. I need some help with this as I have never, ever done it before, but I am firing my current Primary care doctor. He has been taking care of all of my medication needs, but his attitude towards needing constant, therapeudic levels of pain meds is appauling. I have been treated dispicably by him and his incompetent office staff. I have been confused with other patients, accused of things someone else did (and later was apologized to by his office, but it has been multiple times), and accused of being a PCP fiend! (Did a urine test for him a few months back and it came back positive for PCP. I begged him to let me pee again.... so I did.... and it came back with even higher levels of "PCP"... after all of my crying and his coming in and out of the exam room, it turns out that the high dose of Effexor I am on was making the test come back positive for PCP.... something I wouldn't recognize even if I was sitting in a pile of it!!) He has been the root of the reason why I am seeing my Therapist now 4 times per month instead of every other week. I felt lower than the underside of pond scum and it was because of how he and his office have made me feel. He and his staff has an attitude of "guilty until proven innocent" and I simply cannot handle it anymore. At some point I expected that a level of trust would be established and a level of mutual respect and rapport would be established as well. He treats me like a stranger each and every time I see him.

This is coming on the heels of another positive PCP test I took right before New Year's. He had forgotten ALL about the last time and I had to jump thru all of those hoops again. Feeling like a dirt bag drug addict for something I wasn't even taking. I really don't think I am out of line here wanting to be treated with even alittle bit of respect and understanding. I follow the rules but that isn't good enough..... each and every time there is a mistake it effects me MUCH more than it effects them. Their apologizing now falls on my deaf ears.

I need to go in and see him and tell him that I no longer want him to be my treating Physician. I want it documented in my chart why I am leaving his practice.... not for him so much, but for me. I have an appointment with a new doctor on January 21st and he comes HIGHLY recommended from a couple of people. Both of which have had multiple back surgeries. He is in a small town outside of Wichita, but they both said he is worth the drive. I am hoping so. So far so good there.

What are my rights as a patient here? I don't know? Can I ask him to fill my meds until I am officially not his patient anymore? Should I tell him that I already have an appointment with another doctor at another practice? I don't want to bite my nose of to spite my face and say/do the wrong thing. I am NOT going in there (to my current doc's office) with an attitude or anything like that. I have written a letter to him outlining the what's, why's and where's of it all and I simply want to read it to him. I have a terrible ear ache and I need him to look at that, too.

Alittle help here would be SO great. This is new territory for me and I just need alittle advice..... and some courage too I guess. I need to stand up for myself and I guess I am feeling alittle beaten down by him, and am affraid.


Amy :T


  • Here is one way to get your point across to your current doctor without ticking him off so bad that he refuses to treat you at all anymore. Call your new doctor's office and ask them to call your current doctor and request ALL of your records be tranferred to them. You will just have to go to the new doctor and get the medical release form. You don't have to explain anything to this doctor as to why you're leaving. If you are currently on any meds your new doctor will have that information then and may agree to see you sooner if your symptoms warrant and write you new prescriptions.
  • Tonya,

    I will go out to the new docs office and sign the release of med records so that they can get my current records before my appointment. Problem is January 21st is his absolute 1st available, which is 2 weeks from yesterday, so I have this 2 week window to make sure I am covered for my meds......... this is my problem. I still need him to treat me until then. How do I accomplish this with his attitude towards me the way it is???????

    Thanks again,

  • Kill his office staff with kindness. I know how upset you are but believe me it's hard to be mean to someone who's being so nice. :D Also if you can ask them to put you on their call list in case they get a cancellation they can work you in. Or if after reviewing your records they may decide that they can work you in after all.
  • I have been NOTHING more than smiles and positivity when I go into see him, even after all that has happened with their mistakes! I took in a Cookie Bokay to he and his staff "just because" once, and brought he and his staff small xmas gifts of chocolates and whatnot. I have ALWAYS gone the kill them with kindness route. I have never made an scene or caused an incident, unless you call me crying in the exam room while they get their sh.t straight a scene, you know? I take in my little notebook of things I want to address as to not waste anyone's time. I feel like I have done all that I can. They have just worn me down to a nub.

    I will continue to bite my lip, smile, and be the bigger person. But I am about to bite my lip OFF!!!

    Thank you for your support,

  • I have not fired a doctor, but I have changed to another doctor that I felt treats me with respect.
    I think you would want to wait until you find the doctor you want to work with before you give the letter you wrote to the doctor you want to fire. If you need help now and he is the only doctor that you have to treat your ear. Just take a deep breath and let him look at your ear, you know that this may be the last time you have to look at this doctor, he does not have to know it right now. You should not suffer because he does not know how to respect his patients. Unless you have another option for your ear, like an Urgent Care Facility, we have several option in the area I live.
    Try not to let you anger get to you, it is not hurting that terrible doctor. I know how upset and angry I was when my Ortho Dr. did not treat my low back pain, treated me like I did not have any pain and was making it up. It is hard, but just vent here and wait the two weeks until you can get in to see the new doc.
    I hope he is a doctor with respect for his patients, you deserve it.
  • Thanks for the words of support and understanding. Unfortunately far too many of us have been thru this with doctors.... it makes me sick.

    I guess I am just feeling a bit frantic, like I don't have someone I trust taking care of me. That gives me a sense of comfort knowing that they are there for me.... and right now I don't have that. I will continue to breathe deep. I will call his office and make an appointment to get my ear checked. I won't mention this to him, like you said, until I am established with the new doc..... that makes good sense. Like I said, I don't want to bite my nose off to spite my face and leave myself in an even worse position.

    It's just that this is a life long problem for me, as it is for so so many of us folks here, so it's important to me to have a good doctor who knows my history and isn't affraid to give me the proper treatment for my diagnosed conditions. I only take Perc 10's 1 every six hours for pain, all of my other meds are for "other" stuff. (hormones, bipolar med, depression med, anxiety med, yadda yadda yadda) so it's not like I am on crazy high pain meds like I used to be before the stimulator was implanted... thank the Lord for that. I don't think that what I asking for/looking for is unreasonable. I think it's just something we have to actively seek out, and that's where I am now.... standing up for myself, but also needing to make sure that I am adequately taken care of in the mean time.

    Geesh, I have a headache.

    Thanks so much,

  • I have to remind myself all the time that they are people and they have their mood swings just like me. I don't know if fired is the right word but my last PCP was an idiot, he was good for the usual everyday problems but for 2 years he told me my arm pain was stress. When my right knee swelled 2x it's size and I could barely walk on it he did an xray and said it looked fine, probably some arthritis. That is when I took action and made an appointment with an ortho doctor, it was a meniscus tear and I had surgery. I found a new pcp who knew right off the bat what my arm pain was, my neck. I did not fire him so to speak but I went to his office and asked for my records, he handed them to me personally and was sweet as pie, I think he was scared I was going to sue him.....which I should have done. Just be nice to the old pcp until you see the new one, it will all work out.

  • In my opinion, you do need to terminate your relationship with this doctor in an official way, but not until you become established with your new doctor.

    On the 21st, meet your prospective new doctor and discuss your condition with him, to find out what plan of care he recommends and is willing to undertake. Regardless of how highly recommended he is, he may not be the best choice for you. I visited a "highly recommended" doctor a few years ago and found out he was only highly recommended by people who respond well to ESI's, because that's all he did. Those people who thought he was great just assumed he did other things too, because he "fixed" them. You need to meet this doctor yourself and make sure you're not going out of the pan and into the fire.

    If the new doctor agrees to take over your care on the 21st and take over your prescription writing, then you write a very short letter to your previous doctor that addresses the single most important points:

    "This letter is to inform you that I no longer require your services as my primary care physician. On 1/21/08, I attended a preliminary appointment with Dr. Jones, who will be taking over my care from this point forward. Please forward all of my records, including progress notes, lab results, radiology reports, and prescription information to his office, located at 100 Better Doctor Ave."

    Make sure you include your full name, date of birth, Social Security number, patient ID, or whatever information your doctor's office uses to identify you.


    Take all that other information and put it in a letter of complaint to your state medical board. Writing a letter and to the doctor and telling him he's a perfect butthead might make you feel better in the moment, but your doctor will have the ability to make a statement about your "exit letter" in his discharge note in your file. That will follow you, but a complaint to medical board will follow him and he can't comment that into your medical file.

    Also, it serves a larger cause because even if the state medical board can't take direct action on your specific complaint, they keep it on file and if another person or two does the same thing (before or after you) they can investigate and take action based on a pattern of behaviors.

  • Bionic,

    I never really even thought about the Kansas Medical Society. I will call them and see what they recommend in this situation, probably the letter you suggested towards the bottom, addressing the problems I have had with him and his staff. That's a great idea, and I like the thought of maybe helping others in some way....

    Keeping it straight forward and professional with him I think is the obvious choice here, as hard as it may be at the time. My ear is KILLING ME so I need to get in to see him but haven't even called his office yet. It bugs me that this bugs ME so much and they are going about their usual day at work.... on to the next person, you know? I have got to let go some of the emotional pain they have caused and focus it in on getting me the right doctor, for ME. You are SO right about the fact that this doc may not be the best for ME, even tho they think he is great. I need to be realistic and realize it may take alot of searching to find the right doctor.... but I am open to anyone who will treat me with dignity and respect, I truly am. So, I am going into this appointment on the 21st with hope and an honest heart, and just pray that this guy can do something for me.

    Thank you for taking the time to reply to this thread. As soon as Mike leaves to back to work from lunch I am going to call his office and make an appointment for my ear.


  • I fired my doc coz he decided that since the insurance co wanted to screw me, that he would too. I just walked in and ask for my medical records,tool that he IS,he said ide have to wait. I got him reported and word of mouth that he is trash goes along way...Bitter? why yes!
    you hang in there, you know the truth, you have the proof, so go forth and conquer.
    explain to your new doc the reasons for certain test results to clear the way for no misunderstandings. there is no need to be civil to the dingus!, he isnt worth the nuerons wasted on him
    Hng in there girrly girl! your gonna be golden!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • ..... You are awesome!! Hugs and many thanks. You made me smile and I needed that.

    Hugs hun,

    Amy >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D<
  • I'm sorry about all the trouble you had with this clinic. When the new doctor gets your medical record, do you think there will be any bias written down, especially about the false positive urinalysis? I hope that the current doctor didn't write negative opinions. There is no telling what they write unless you personally get your hands on your records. I hope this new doctor treats you well. You have been through so much and you deserve someone who is professional and courteous.
  • .... long time no see!! So glad to hear from you.

    You know, I was thinking that too.... how do I know what he documented about me with misinformation???? I want to be open and honest with this new doc and tell him why I am looking for a new doctor..... express my needs and what not.... and hope that he is a good fit. Maybe I should see him 1st... he may not care about the other doctor's opinion. If he is worth anything at all, he will base his assessment of me based on what his eyes see and his ears hear from me, not someone else's notes.....

    I'm so stressed about this. I really don't like change at all to be perfectly honest with you. I like structure, knowing what to expect from one day to the next. It makes me the most comfortable. Due to the reasons why I have some mental health issues, I am having alot of anxiety because of this and I just need to get it behind me and keep on keepin on. Today my stomach is a mess and I could barf if I really sat and thought about it.

    I know this isn't the end of the world kind of thing, but, my world is a fairly small one that contains the things and people that make my life happy and make me feel contentment. When something like this is disrupted, something as important to me as a good PCP, I don't react well.

    Thanks so much for posting. So good to see you!!


  • I'm never too far if you need me :) Yeah, I think about what they write about me. It's only natural to want to know. But it's treated like priviliged information. I think that it can help you understand so much about what is going on.
    Everybody had given great advice on how to proceed in this. I would make the appointment and give them the release for my records. You can ask to do it by fax, I've done it so many times and saved gas and time. The thing is that you don't know what's written down. What I would also do if he asks why you left is say "I know my case is complicated, and I left Dr.__ because he made erroneous assumptions with my urinalysis, and I want to let you know that he and his staff apologized. It should be noted in my chart." Let him know that it was something unacceptable and unprofessional to you. Always stay calm and in control.
    Let us know how things go with your transition. I'm the same way, I don't like a bunch of change. I like life simple and uncomplicated. I know things will work out for you.
  • I hadn't thought of that one earlier this morning.
  • Yes. I have fired my doctor. First of all, make sure you have somewhere to go. I agree that just because someone is "highly recommended" doesn't mean you are going to lick with them. Paul's suggestion that you make sure the new doc will give you your pain meds is paramount. Besides asking for your records to be transferred to the new doc, you are entitled to copies of your medical records. Call your existing, yuckky doc and tell them you want copies of your medical records, specifically office notes. Ask them to sent you the release forms. (They may charge you for the cost of photocopying and postage BUT they must respond to your request within 30 days according to Hipaa.) After you are out of there, send your letter. It will make you feel better. You don't have to be angry in the letter but you can let him/her know why you left. I don't think this will haunt you if you've already transferred your records and, hey, what's wrong with doing something that will make you feel better. Susan
  • Susan,

    Thank you,and all of the others here, who have given me alot to work with. I feel better prepared to take this step having posted here and gotten some really good advice from the pros!!

    I went in this morning and saw his PA for my ear as I couldn't get in with him (current PCP) until Monday.... I just didn't think I could make it thru the weekend with my ear hurting this bad, and the hearing was diminished in that ear, too. They washed it out (OUCH) and saw that my right ear canal was angry, red and swollen. Got some Cipro drops to use and I can already hear better than when I went in. She never said anything about anything else and was really nice, especially after she took a look in my ear. (I did this to myself 3 days ago, cleaning my ears with Qtips.... my hand slipped and I poked it down in my ear pretty far.... OUCHIE WAH WAH!!) Anywho, seems like I have this one under control now. I woke up with an upset stomach at about 330am and couldn't really go back to sleep.... I know it was stress about going into his office this morning.

    I will just keep marking off the days on the calendar until my appointment with my potentially new doc on the 21st of this month. I will call my current PCP's office next week on Monday when my refills are due, and see what happens I suppose. See if he gives me a hard time about it again. I guess if he DOES, I can always go to the ER and tell them about the situation I am in with my pain meds and see if they can help me if he doesn't.

    Like I said before, I don't like "unknowns" and this is a biggie. I will continue to hold my head high and know that I haven't done anything wrong, and will follow most all of the advice I have been given here.

    Thanks so much to all who have posted,



    T G I F!!!! <:P <:P <:P <:P <:P <:P <:P <:P
  • Amy~
    I understand your frustration with this doctor as he has drug you thru poop so many times, but be careful how you go about changing docs. I went to a new doctor after my doctor retired and she had all this blood work done plus did a nerve conduction test and then put me on HOLD until she got all of the test results in. During this time, she did NOT prescribe me any medication and kept telling me that she was waiting on lab results. I had my lab results sent to her THREE times. Finally, I got fed up with waiting on her, I was in so much pain (waiting on lab results for so long, I ran completely out of pain meds and went into withdrawals), so I contacted another doctor to see me. I went in to see him and he said he couldn't treat me until the other doctor released me from her care because I had signed a narcotic contract with her. When I contacted her office for the release, she wrote a very ugly letter in my progress notes saying that she thought I was just a drug seeker and she didn't feel that I was really in that much pain. She never even prescribed me anything! Lucky for me, the new doctor I went to had treated me a few years before and knew that it wasn't true. He told me that if I had gone to another doctor, that letter she wrote could have kept me from being treated by someone. He even let me read it! I was furious!!
    Anyway, just tread lightly. I'm sure you have had to deal with withdrawals at some point in your pain journey and you know you don't want to have to go there. It is so miserable! Good luck with your transition!
  • It's very important that you are able to get your refills before switching to the new GP; the ER may or may not help and they might put you through the ringer. Whatever happens, I hope it goes in your favor :H
  • that it is SUPER important right now that I get my refills from my current doc when they are indicated. Next week, on Monday, I will start that journey. I'm so affraid that I am going to have to tell him that I NEED him to do this because I am trying to get my care handled somewhere else. That the fit just isn't for me at his office. I have NEVER signed a pain contract up to date, ever.... so that won't be a hinderance. I am praying SO HARD (please pray with me) that he will take the high road and see that I am doing my best to relieve him of the responsibility to care for me, and the appointment is less than 2 weeks away.... that's not an unreasonable amount of medication especially since I just take 4 per day. I know that you can probably still sense the intense anxiety I am feeling right now and that is what I am trying to manage right now. I just called for a refill on my Klonipin.... my hands are literally shaking. ANXIETY SUCKS!!!!! I have that wanna run down the street and scream all bottled up inside. I'm breathing deep and doing my relaxation stuff to try and calm the inner panic feeling that I am having. I look perfectly normal from the outside..... but my insides are a mess.

    Thank you for continueing to post thoughts as they come to you. I appreciate you all taking the time to do so. It's a big help just knowing people are just a post away, who understand.


  • Just tell them that you're in the middle of a pain flare. They shouldn't all of a sudden say no. They are the ones who messed up with false accusations. Each time you were proven right. Do you call the clinic for refills or do you call it in to the pharmacy?
  • Hey you..... :) I call the pharmacy and they fax them the refill request.... then the doc's office faxes it back (sometimes). The last time I called for this refill, the pharmacy called me and said it was denied and no reason was left. I'm like um..... ok, that's never happened. So I call his office and talk to the nurse. It turns out they had me MIXED UP WITH ANOTHER PATIENT and denied it.... then said she had just faxed over my refill. It's sh.t like this that I am talking about. Jumping thru UNNECESSARY hoops all the damn time. Little things to them, but when I hear the word DENIED its like a smack in the face. Like I tried to fill something I knew wouldn't be refilled. I mean sweet baby jeezus, I have been on this stuff since Tom died 15 years ago!!!!!!!!!! Sorry..... I kinda went off for a minute. (deep breath)


  • You're allowed to blow up just so you know. No apologies necessary. I can just see you ready to pull your hair out. You are in my prayers. You will get through this. I wish there was any other suggestion I could offer you to make this better for you for the weekend. Just hang on you're going to get the help you need.
  • Thank you so much. I appreciate so very much.

    I called to get my Klonipin refilled this afternoon.... just got a call that it was "denied" with the reason given that I needed an appointment with him??? Um, I just saw his PA this morning for my ear???? Doesn't that count?? SOOOO, I made an appointment to see him on Tuesday next week at 1030am to discuss all of this crap. I dont have the 1st idea of what to say to him, but I have 12 days to get thru until the appt with my new doc (I hope) and I need my meds refilled!!! I feel so trapped in a corner right now. I don't like not having any options or control over the situation. I guess we'll see what happens.... if they fill it or not based on my up coming appt... and it was his very 1st available.

    Thanks again Tonya. Hugs. Have a super weekend!!


  • Just be nice and tell him you have alot of BTP and stress. Show him where the pain is and be nice. It could be the people in the office that are crude and rude. Until your set up with another Dr. best not to say anything. Even then the new Dr. may be in contact with your old Dr. so when you go be nice and sweet as pie because people remember the last time we see them as opposed to the other times. Unless he's doing something illegal best to let it go. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • I hope you are able to get the Klonopin issue straight. Oh, and all that other crap straight too. I remember reading your post about how you were confused with the OTHER Amy. I don't know what I'd do or how I would behave (if I could) if that were to ever happen to me. You'd think that'd be straightened out by now, huh? They should KNOW your voice by now. I would probably be very irritating to them each time I called and say something like "This is JoAnn. I am NOT the JoAnn who_______, but the LEGITIMATE PATIENT by the name of JO ANN. Remember me?" and believe me, when I'd get done with them, they WOULD remember me! I could almost see them now, rolling their eyes, saying in a very bored and condescending voice "yes we remember you"...

    I know this is easier said than done, but try not to worry about it all weekend. Hopefully, you are getting all your problems of 2009 out of the way right off the bat, and can enjoy the rest of it!

    Take care!
  • they called in enough Klonopin to get me thru until my appointment with him on Tuesday. What a cluster ____!!! I noticed on the caller ID that his office tried to call me at 553pm but I was out taking my daughter and her friend who is spending the night to dinner and to a movie. Our answering machine is screwed up so I didn't get to talk to anyone tonight. It's probably best. I'm going to go pick up my med refill tomorrow morning.

    Jeaux, so glad to hear from you my dear...... always so glad. Thanks for the words of encouragement. I think I'm done worrying about this until next week. It's like a rocking chair..... it gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere!!! Sigh.... so much easier said than done. I'll check in tomorrow. Everyone have a pleasant evening and thanks again to all.


  • I just noticed my post to you on this thread where I suggest that just because someone is "highly recommended" doesn't mean you are going to CLICK with them. That is what I meant to write not "lick with them". We certainly do not want to go around licking our doctors or, for sure, they are going to be reluctant to presribe meds. A simple handshake would (in almost every instance) be better than licking your doctor. Now if you were a pooch and your doc were a vet, the licking might be okay but, generally speaking, as a human, it would be "contraindicated". Hope I made you laugh. Hope you're feeling better today. That was a pretty odd sounding typo. Susan
  • LOL!! That's too funny!! I really wasn't looking forward to lickin the dude.... but it was advice that as given so I was gonna give it a whirl!! Thanks for clearing up the miss understanding!! (lol).

    Thank you for the giggle. I needed that. I am hangning in there and am doing much better since I got my Klonopin from the pharmacy this morning.... no more of that "break and run" feeling so that is a relief.

    Hugs to you..... you nut!! lol

    Amy >:D< :))(
  • Stockbroker thank you for making Amy and myself laugh today. That is hilarious! =))
    Amy, I think your doctor should know how dangerous is it to just stop taking something like Klonopin if he is any kind of doctor at all. Surely, he will rewrite your refill when you see him again. He should have never started you on it if he wasn't willing to commit to it for the long haul. All of the literature I read said that you should NEVER just stop taking it on your own so I would assume that your doctor has read all of the same things that I have. He'd be on the hook if he just stopped you cold turkey instead of tapering you off of it. I can't see him making a big fuss about it but I know your issues with his office. I started taking it but quit after only one week because it gave me a horrible headache. My prayers go with you on Tuesday.
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