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Final Countdown---home from hospital

eajosepheeajoseph Posts: 315
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:26 AM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery
I'm in the final countdown stage. My TLIF with posterior hardward is scheduled for Monday, 1/12, at 1:20 pm (Eastern). I need to be at the hospital by 11:20.

I know that I need to do this if there is any hope that I might feel better one day. But I'm scared to death. My kids are young (just turned 4 and almost 6). The only time I've been away for very long was when I gave birth to the youngest. Otherwise a night a few times with my hubby for New Year's Eve and that's it. I'm trying to prepare the kids for this and find myself at a loss. I don't want to scare them. I don't want to lie. They know mommy's back hurts a lot. They call it my boo boo and kiss it to make it better. I don't now know to tell them that the doctor is going to make me better so I have to be gone for a few days and will come home being able to do less than I can now and will have a lot of pain in the beginning.

I'm really scared about all of this. I know this will be a painful recovery. But that's only part of the problem. Losing my independence is the biggest problem. Not being able to drive will be really hard on me. Not being able to take care of my house or kids at all when I get home. Not being able to take care of myself as I'm used to.

Trying not to think about all of this because I end up breaking down in tears when I do. My family is no help. Thank God MIL is here to help for the first five weeks. DH has been told to work from home whenever he needs to plus I have great neighbors and friends. All comes back to my problem of being dependent on others. (long long story there that I won't bore anyone with)

I'll be online when I can after Monday. May everyone be pain free!

*****I am home from the hospital and in pain. More info to come.*****


  • Wishing you all the best Beth. Hope you have a smooth surgery and recovery. >:D<
  • Having help is great. You will need it for a while. But get a grabber and if you have a great hubby like mine, you will be amazed at how well things will work out. I dont have kids at home anymore, they are grown. But, having your little ones can be of help to you too. They will probably love to help you and keep you entertained. I remember reading something about a guy who realized how special the timne can be with his son, now that he couldnt do much else and how wonderful it was. Keep your chin up. Everything will be good and I will be thinking of you.
  • I wish you all the best for your surgery and healing to be quick and painfree. See you in a few days here. God Bless. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • I hope your surgery is successful so that you eventually are 100% pain free. I know how difficult it will be but I know that it can be overcome. We'll be thinking of you next Monday, and eagerly anticipating hearing from you. Take care :H
  • Hi, Beth. I truly understand what you're feeling. I have 4 kids and the 2 younger ones are 10 and 7. My youngest thought I was going to die. He was so afraid and for a while would just cling to me and break down. It was clear he had a good sense of what was going on, but couldn't handle the emotions. This may or may not be a good idea for your 4 yr old, but a similar approach that is age appropriate and maturity level would be fine....I got online and showed my kids the anatomy of a healthy spine and one like mine. I showed them what my spine will look like with the hardware (and pictures of the hardware itself). We discussed what recovery might look like and the special things they can do to help Mommy feel better when I get back home. We made a calendar just for this special event so they can have a visual of what the days will be like when I'm gone and when I get back home. They have had many questions, but they definitely have a much clearer understanding of what is going to happen. Kids know when something's going on, but they lack the knowledge and understanding that comes with experience and age. You know your kids better than anyone else, so use that as a guide.

    Having your MIL there for 5 weeks should be a wonderful distraction for the kids while you rest. I'm going in on Tues. 13th and I'll have my MIL for 1 week, but I do have older kids as well.

    Good luck to you, Beth. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us posted.

  • I know how you feel. Well, about the surgery and loss of independence afterwards, etc. I don't have children. The going will be rough, but I hope it won't be that bad. I had L3-S1 on November 19th. Took me too ops though, one on the 19th and one on the 24th. I had too much scar tissue. You won't worry about the car at first. Driving will be the farthest thing from your mind. It's great that you will have help for the first several weeks. I was here all by myself (still am). It's been slow going, but I'm getting better and better, every day.

    3 level spinal fusion, L3/4, L4/5, L5/S1, November 2008. Stiff, but I can walk.
  • My last back surgery was a 360 PLIF with the works, screws, cages, rods, and BMP. I had an excellent surgeon and I did great. I had been so unstable and immobile before that getting my back stabilized made a huge difference. I had older boys (17 and 14 then) and our sunday school brought us meals for 3 weeks, I think! But also my family doesn't live near and can't help. Hubby was very helpful.

    Just make sure to walk every single day - it will help the healing, help the muscles from spasming and help the nerves from scarring down. My sunday school class also took turns picking me up every day at lunch and taking me to the local indoor mall (really kind of a joke mall, in a rural town) but I also had surgery in December and couldn't walk outside due to weather.

    Think positive and imagine how great you will feel once your back is stabilized. The time will go quickly and you will feel so much better. I did so well after surgery I was released in a day and half, when I was told I'd probably stay 3 to 4 days. I was shocked, but that's how much better my back felt - the surgery was just nothing compared to the pain and instability I had been living with.

    I will be thinking of you!! Wishing you much luck!!

  • Good Luck Beth you shall do just fine !!
    Yes it will be hard because you do not like to depend on other. Having MIL there is a MAJOR PLUS!!!! Plus hub being able to work at home is another blessing O:)

    The kids are young. Actually that is a better age then some of the older ones believe it or not.
    They like to help out, get things for mommy.
    I'v known alot of ppl on here since I joined a year ago and another good idea is have lots of DVDs set up so they can lay in bed with you and cuddle to watch movies. Coloring books. Have the 6 yr old bring their homework to you and cuddle. Not that they have much but that way you know what they are doing etc..

    Also lots of books. Yes you won't be able to get on the floor and play but that is also a great way to spend time.
    I do not know if you have any video games for them that they play but also another great distraction.

    Just remember when you get home its a totally different pain then what your having now. More stiffness and trying to get comfortable.
    Another plus is with people being there with you , you will be able to sleep and rest when needed.
    And with neighbors mabye on weekends they will offer to take the kids for playdates..

    It will all be over before you know it, and you will be on the road to recovery..

    We are here for you 24/7 to help you through!!!
    Think of it as a vacation for mommy!! <:P <:P
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