Hi to all my Spiney Friends. I just want to start by saying thank you for all the support over the time I've been on here. I truly appreciate all your help. I just need to vent...again and would appreciate any advice, help, support or anything anyone is willing to help with.
Let me start by saying I am just so frustrated with being in pain. Everytime I try to do something it HURTS. I just want to cry and give up and just lay around like a sack of potatoes sometimes. I've been resting for about a week now because last week, I got tired of laying around and decided to try some exercising. Well, long story short, it hurt like heck and set me into some severe muscle spasms. I was starting to feel a little better this morning and wanted to contribute to my home and life so I folded 2 loads of laundry, loaded the dishwasher, swept the kitchen floor, made my bed. Washed 2 more loads of laundry and vacuumed the living room and hallway and picked up my son's toys around the house. I am hurting so bad I am stuck to the couch. I hope it's not going to be another week of this. My muscles are spasming and the nerve pain is sever down both legs even in a reclined position. My lower back hurts all the way across and down my right butt cheek. I am supposed to start a new job next week selling insurance and I am scared to death! I don't think I am ready to do this physically but financially and mentally I really want to get out in the work force. I hurt so bad that I am just sitting here with my laptop on my lap and sobbing. Just typing this out feels better emotionally.
I try so hard to stay positive and not let this get me down but it is really getting to me today. Yesterday I had no energy and just wanted to lay in bed all day. I didn't hurt too bad but I just didn't want to do anything. Today I want to do everything but can't physically. Why can't my mind and body just get along and play nice with each other.
I feel worthless as a mother and wife because I feel like I can't do anything for my family anymore.
Thanks for listening and Thanks for always being there for me.