Welcome, Friend!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Veritas-Health LLC has recently released patient forums to our Arthritis-Health web site.

Please visit http://www.arthritis-health.com/forum

There are several patient story videos on Spine-Health that talk about Arthritis. Search on Patient stories
Protect anonymity
We strongly suggest that members do not include their email addresses. Once that is published , your email address is available to anyone on the internet , including hackers.

All discussions and comments that contain an external URL will be automatically moved to the spam queue. No external URL pointing to a medical web site is permitted. Forum rules also indicate that you need prior moderator approval. If you are going to post an external URL, contact one of the moderators to get their approval.
Attention New Members
Your initial discussion or comment automatically is sent to a moderator's approval queue before it can be published.
There are no medical professionals on this forum side of the site. Therefore, no one is capable or permitted to provide any type of medical advice.
This includes any analysis, interpretation, or advice based on any diagnostic test

Live each day to its fullest

cyndi4everccyndi4ever Posts: 153
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:27 AM in Matters of the Heart
Today I recieved the awful news that my best friend in NH has been put on life support. Yesterday she and her husband were watching tv and suddenly her heart stopped beating. Her husband called 911 and proceeded to follow their instructions to save her. 911 came and used the paddles twice to get her heart going, she is now in the hospital on life support and was without oxygen for 25 mins. Her doctor has little hope that she will put out of it and a decison will needed to be made. I have been in that place before it is not easy to say the least. My friend has gastric bypass surgery 4 years ago and has really never been the same health wise. Her numbers were always low in the electrolyte department and we all know that is not good. She always drank a bit to much and after surgery she replaced the food with alcohol and it really did not take much because of the size of her stomach. I love her so much. I began to not want to be with her and her husband so much as they always drank to much and she reminded me of my mother when she drank. I thought I was making the right decsion when I told her she needed to stop drinking and that I did not like being with her when she was drunk. Long story we did not talk to each other till thanksgiving of this year when I sent her a card and told her I was sorry that I felt the way I did and hurt her and asked her to forgive me. I really thought I would help her if I told her this and used tough love on her. I was actually trying to save her life. Yes as I sit here I feel so bad that this happened to us and we never got to really straighten things out. She and her husband stood up for us at our wedding so you see at one time we were so close. I find it hard to believe and I know it does how ones life is just taken in the blink of an eye. I have thought alot about this today and thank God for allowing me to have her as a friend. I constantly feel sorry for myself because of my health. Today it hit home how lucky I was to be alive and that I have the option to get better and take care of myself. I pray that she will come out of it but I know that I have to accept this as Gods will and learn somthing from it. Friendship and family are so important to us, and sometimes we don't take the time to appreciate it. I have learned today that I can't put off today what I can do tommorrow as far as friendship and love go. Im not sure if any of this makes sence but I had to write this to feel better I guess. I cared and loved her enough to tell her that her drinking was going to kill her.


  • My condolences to you. No one is ever prepared for this. But whatever was done it was all resolved and there was forgiveness all around. I'm sure she must've been a great friend. Many of us go our seperate ways but still have love in our heart for that time when you were so close.

    God bless. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Today they are going to take Laura off of life support, and stop all nutrition so that nature takes its course and she will pass.. How horrible is this that we can euthanize our pets when they are dying, but we litterally starve somone to death that is dying. I"m sorry but I just find this inhumane to both the patient and the famly that loves her. This is heartbreaking for me.
  • It's a hard thing to think of your friend is starving. But she doesn't feel hunger now. I was told that by a Dr. a specialist in Neurology. Still in all it's sad to lose a good friend. God bless. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Sorry to hear about your friend,i will say a prayer for her...
  • i was sorry to hear about your friend. hugs to you...take care...m
  • Cyndi , I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. At a time like this , it is so easy to blame ourselves and feel the weight of the world on one's shoulders but that is something that you can not do. You must forgive yourself so that you can honor her memory and the memory of the friendship that you two shared. It takes a very good friend to do what you did about her drinking , you loved her enough to want to save her from her own harmful actions , you must never beat yourself up for that. I have been in a situation similar to what you find yourself in and when my friend died , I sat down and wrote a letter.....in my letter I talked about all the wonderful reasons that we were friends , all the fun things we used to do , all the beautiful , sad and happy memories that we shared and then I asked forgiveness for anything that I may have ever done to hurt them....but I also accepted forgiveness for I knew that my friend had forgiven me also. Later , I burned the letter....I guess it was my way of delivering it....all I can say is that it helped me tremendously to do this. Healing still took time but I do believe that the letter helped...it helped to get all of my feelings out on paper , it was a cleansing step for me much like our tears can be in times of sadness. You may want to try this , if you do then I pray that it helps you in the way that it helped me.

    If there is ever anything that I can do for you then please just let me know...I am always just a PM away and I will always reply once I see that I have one. Be strong , take care and remember that you are not alone in all of this , we are here with you.....Miki
  • Laura passed on this morning at 1;30 am. While Im so sad that she is gone, she finally is at peace and not in limbo now. Thank you all for your support and good thougts.
    I am very lucky to have had her in my life for as long as I did.
  • Cyndi, I am so sorry for the pain you must be feeling at this time. Please know that my thoughts are with you. thank you for reminding us how fragile life is and to be thankful for every day we have.

    Surviving chronic pain one day at a time, praying for a reprieve because living another 40 years like this doesn't sound too fun!
  • I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. I hope that you can take solace in the fact that she knew that you loved her before she passed and that what you did was out of that love. That is true friendship and there is little that is greater in this world.

    Keep talking about her and it will help you with your grief. You know that we're here for you.

Sign In or Register to comment.