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need to vent to people who understand

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,671
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:27 AM in Lower Back Pain
so a few of you have read my story. im 20 years old and have a couple of bulging discs with tears and DDD. i have been put in physical therapy and my pain has gotten considerably worse over the last couple of weeks. i had to leave work early again yesterday because of severe spasming going down my back and both legs. i cant walk anymore i cant sleep its all very frustrating. i feel completely worthless. im not a good employee anymore, i feel like im failing as a wife. and my doctor cant see me till friday. i was supposed to cut down and only take one lortab a day but im having to take 3 or 4 just to stop crying. i have never been in so much pain in my life. i hate how everything with this type of problem takes so much time. even if my doctor orders another mri (mines about a year old) then it will take a couple of days to set it up and couple more to get the results. all the while i am stuck on a couch. i have classes to go to and work i dont have time to be hurting like i am. but i dont think anyone does, do they? i just wish my coworkers would understand my situation. and i wish my doctor was a little more empathetic to me. i didnt ask for this to happen to me and i just want to stop hurting

o well thank you for listening im in a bad spot right now and just needed to vent.


  • A lot of us know how you feel. With spinal issues, there's almost always a time when you feel like nothing more than a lump of coal and it seem that's when people decide to stand by you and say, "Aw, it can't be that bad...". Well, until you walk a mile in my shoes, yada, yada, yada.

    No, nobody has the time, nor wants the time, to hurt. But pain has it's own agenda and we have to carry it whether we like it or not.

    But, please, PLEASE, DO NOT feel like a failure as a wife and employee. You aren't worthless, you are just in pain. Hopefully the doc will help on Friday and you'll be on your way to feeling better.

    Just know that I'm thinking of you and wish you the best. Take care and vent any time - that's why we're here.

    >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D<

  • I'm going through the same thing right now except for off on w/c and everytime I call my employer with a dr.s appt. update all they want to know is when are you comming back to work! I tell them i have no idea I'm walking with a cane now and dragging my leg and I can't sit or stand any longer than 15 minutes and you want me to work! They act like I'm on a paid vacation lying in the sun eating bonbons! When in reality I'm miserable and eating pain pills! I'll tell you the same thing I tell myself everyday just take it one day at a time. One day they will find themselves in my shoes and i hope they think back to how they made me feel. You ever need to talk just let me know. HANG IN THERE!
  • I'm working part-time mornings (per my doctor's orders). Every day, EVERY DAY, when I go to my boss' office when I'm leaving, he says "Have a nice afternoon." Yeah, ok...
  • :) Hey kristabell, everyone in this fourm knows how and why you feel this way. People who dont have spinal issues dont have a clue. Like Cath111 said "until you walk a mile in my shoes". Just hang in there and we will be here for ya when ever you post. Let us know how you do.
  • You can always vent anytime you want, this is the perfect place. Believe me, we understand. People can be so insensitive, they won't understand what you're going through unless it happens to them. I hope you're able to get an MRI to see if anything else is going on, and I'm sorry you are feeling miserable. I hope you can talk to your doctor and let him know how bad you are feeling.
  • Sorry to hear how your feelling, I know we have all been there and most of still are. The worst is when they ask how are you doing? Do you say fine r tell them the truth and not hear from the again for a while. I wish you all the support you need, take care of yourself......
  • You are right, many of us have been exactly where you are. We will always be here to support and understand you.
  • Im so sorry you are having such a hard time right now.

    I don't work right now so I can't say I know what you are going through in that respect. I think my (our) age doesn't help at all. My friends ask me to go places and do things and just dont understand why I cant go clubbing etc etc.

    As far as how long everything takes, it only adds to the frustration.

    I know how hard it is to be stuck at home and in too much pain to do anything of "value" or so it seems.

    Maybe if you are feeling up to it you could come up with things to do from home? Read books you have always wanted to read,watch classic movies, or my own personal fav TV shows on DVD :D . A few years back when I was hurting too much to go to school, I took some online classes, I dont know if thats possible for you but it sure made things easier. None of those are fixes of course..but maybe something to help you in the meantime while you are waiting for your MRI and finding something to help your pain.

    Good luck to you, and I hope you get some much needed relief soon. :)
  • The others are right - we understand, and we know it is hard for people who aren't in our situation to really comprehend what we go through - every day.

    It's easy to feel like things will be like this forever, but hopefully they will improve with time and the right medical assistance.

  • I think all of us here are more or less in that same predicament, alas :( I personally feel as if part of me who was once carefree and healthy is gone forever.

    Mornings are the worst really. I stand up when I take public transport, can't watch tv without having to toss and turn all the time. Can't enjoy lazy wkends anymore, massages, tylenol arthritis and metocarbamol offer but very temporary relief.. My bf is sick of hearing about it all the time, so I'm gradually becoming withdrawn and very concerned.. Thank god I can still exercise, it truly saves me when I do.

    Anyhow, be on top of your problem, be strong and stay positive.. it helps :)
  • thank you all so much for the support it really means alot. im trying my best to stay positive. hopefully the doc can help me on friday and get the ball rolling on something that will actually help me

    thank you so much!! :)
  • so i had another doctors appointment and he believes the herniation of my disc has gotten worse and now i need another mri. fantastic....
  • I know that news doesn't sound good, but it is good that they will do another MRI to see what happened. At least you won't be wondering what is wrong and your doctor is doing something about it. Please keep us updated on how things go. Take care :H
  • very true!! im ready to be fixed! :)
  • anyone having trouble with epidural fibrosis?
  • you will be fine ,take one day at a time, don,t be so hard on yourself, you are young and you will heal quickly,
    I had two hernations and being older I was concerned, but your body will heal, call your Dr and ask him for tramodol
    for pain--keep us posted
    Good luck
  • You sound alot like what I went through only maybe at a sloer pace. If MRI dont show anything, ask him about discogram. It showed annular tears which were the root of pain. Good Luck. Hugs to you and I am sure your issues will be resolved. Dont loose the faith, I kept mine for 2 years pf pain, unable to work and felt totally useless at times. Help will come. Keeo smiling when you can. It makes the world wonder what you are up too. :H
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