Feeling depressed, and this is why...
William and I have been struggling with our finances lately, and I have been really busy trying to find some way to earn money. I worked one day at my job last week, and managed to only make $9.53 cents...our bills are quickly coming up, and I know that we will not be able to afford them. William and I have been discussing about starting to shut some things off, like cable, and possibly stop paying for trash pick up, ect. and just take it ourselves.
Sometimes I sit her and look at the puppy, and realize, wow, what have we done. We can barely take care of ourselves, so why did we get another animal to look after? I must say, because William has been working so much, that she provides great company for me since I am alone a lot more now. I even have been going to the gym alone, because he works so many different hours, he has not even had the time to go.
I have been trying to collect unemployment since December, and they keep sending me letters in the mail that I am getting the money, but I have still yet to receive any payments. I have tried calling the people 50 times, and even emailed several people that I have yet to receive a check, but I have gotten a hold of no one. Heck, I still have yet to receive all of my tax information, so I can't even get my taxes done. William had his taxes done, but we have to give the money to his mom because we promised her that we would pay her with that money because we owe her so much. William's truck also broke down, our luck is horrible. He was pulling out of Winn-Dixie when his axle and passenger rear wheel assembly just snapped in half. $1200 in damage. I also have a spine class on Monday, but I think I might quite. I have to pay them $45 dollars on Monday, and I just don't have the money. This office is completely convinced that it's all in my head anyways, so what's the point. I don't feel like it's helping me anymore anyways. I am out of medication, out of help, and just plain tired and feel like I am out of hope.
I don't even know now how William and I are going to get married this year. I am almost considering just going to the court house and doing it that way. I won't be able to buy that white dress that I have always dreamed about, nor having the reception that I would just love.