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It's the End of the World as I know it...

araineaaraine Posts: 151
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:28 AM in Depression and Coping
Feeling depressed, and this is why...

William and I have been struggling with our finances lately, and I have been really busy trying to find some way to earn money. I worked one day at my job last week, and managed to only make $9.53 cents...our bills are quickly coming up, and I know that we will not be able to afford them. William and I have been discussing about starting to shut some things off, like cable, and possibly stop paying for trash pick up, ect. and just take it ourselves.

Sometimes I sit her and look at the puppy, and realize, wow, what have we done. We can barely take care of ourselves, so why did we get another animal to look after? I must say, because William has been working so much, that she provides great company for me since I am alone a lot more now. I even have been going to the gym alone, because he works so many different hours, he has not even had the time to go.

I have been trying to collect unemployment since December, and they keep sending me letters in the mail that I am getting the money, but I have still yet to receive any payments. I have tried calling the people 50 times, and even emailed several people that I have yet to receive a check, but I have gotten a hold of no one. Heck, I still have yet to receive all of my tax information, so I can't even get my taxes done. William had his taxes done, but we have to give the money to his mom because we promised her that we would pay her with that money because we owe her so much. William's truck also broke down, our luck is horrible. He was pulling out of Winn-Dixie when his axle and passenger rear wheel assembly just snapped in half. $1200 in damage. I also have a spine class on Monday, but I think I might quite. I have to pay them $45 dollars on Monday, and I just don't have the money. This office is completely convinced that it's all in my head anyways, so what's the point. I don't feel like it's helping me anymore anyways. I am out of medication, out of help, and just plain tired and feel like I am out of hope.

I don't even know now how William and I are going to get married this year. I am almost considering just going to the court house and doing it that way. I won't be able to buy that white dress that I have always dreamed about, nor having the reception that I would just love.


  • Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. I'll keep you in my prayers.Can you get on disablity? Keep bugging them every day until they do something. Do your parents live close and can they help? I would help you if I could. Pray harder for an answer believing God will provide a way for you. Don't give in to depression please. If you need to ask the doctor for a good antidepressant them by all means ask. It will help you cope better. I'm here for you along with others on here as I'm sure you know. I'm counting on you to stay in touch with me.....promise?

  • It's tough times these days. I cut the extra cable for 2 months then when I asked for it back when I got my disability they offered free for 6 months the movie channel, HBO etc and 3 months free extra channels. I also cut newspaper except just for Saturday and then they called and offered 3 months free for the week paper. We went to the bank to skip one mortgage payment andget a 2nd mortgage through the fireman's credit union for only 5%. The banks were charging 11%. So if you have a credit union try that kind of line of credit to consolidate your credit cards. I hope you get your employment benefits soon. We got married poor in our apt. and $100. for the minister after getting the liscence. I was going to go to cityhall it only costs $50. for the hall but extra for the Judge. We were getting money now we're broke again. Married 17 years this April. Stop putting it off. Have a small wedding then later bigger if you want. Good luck Ariane. I hope your money comes in soon. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • I wanted and planned a pretty wedding 25 years ago - had the dress, chapel reserved - and at the last minute the planning and stress of life were too much - so we got married by a justice of the peace - in his trailer home,
    while his wife watched Knots Landing in the same room,
    with the sound turned down while we were being married! And we both had to go to work the next day. No honeymoon.
    It wasn't exactly what I had in mind. However, it's the
    marriage not the wedding that counts. Tomorrow we are renewing our vows 25 years later at our church. Except for my back, things are so incredibly better in every other way.
    You start off with nothing - and it only can go up from there. It's the love in the marriage that you'll want and
    you can renew your vows in 1 year or 2 or 5 or whenever you want to. I have to smile now about our wedding, I think it
    was the Knots Landing on t.v. with the sound turned down that really got to me. I'm so sorry things are so bad right
    now. That unemployment must be so swamped - I wonder if they
    have just not got you in the computer or something. I wish
    you felt well enough to go there. Good luck, I know things
    will get better - and I would urge you to consider just
    getting yourselves married and you can do it up again later
    in as fancy a way as you want to. Good luck and be glad you
    have each other, sincerely, susie
  • I agree with the others as far as marriage. If you can't afford a big wedding just go ahead and get it done in front of JP. I wish I had eloped after all the drama and expense of paying for my own wedding 7rs ago.

    I am so sorry to hear you are feeling down due to pain and finances. It is so hard to deal with the pain and then add on the financial burden the pain puts on you cuz of your limitation to work and medical bills piling up. I hope things start turning up for you. I am behind in all my bills. I try not to stress out about it. I just keep praying and remembering that God will provide.

    I was hoping to be back to work by now but it's not looking good for me. My pain levels are at 6-8 most days and has been going up to 10 a couple of times this week. My husband and I fight all the time now which causes more pain in my back due to the stress. I know it's because I am not working and we are struggling financially too. I hope your fiance is supportive of your condition. I wish mine was cuz it would make coping with everything so much easier.

    If your depression seems to be affecting your way of life, by all means, please go to your primary doc asap and talk to him about getting on some antidepressants. I don't know if you are aware of this or not but some antidepressants can also help with pain in back.

    I hope you are start feeling better. Feel free to PM me anytime you want to talk. I also suffer from depression and it's been at it's peek lately with all this pain and lack of support from my husband.
  • That is another one of my biggest problems...I have no doctor's, nor do I have anyone that can help us. I would rather not be on anti-depressants, I just feel like my body is already jacked up from the meds that I have taken in the past. I will be in touch don't you worry hun. Thanks,

    - amber
  • Araine:

    Has your check been electronically deposited? Can they tell you where it was mailed? If the checks they say they've sent have cleared the bank, can they show the endorsement on the back (where you are supposed to sign)? Maybe someone else is getting your checks and cashing them?

    If you can, go directly to the unemployment office with bank statements in hand and have THEM prove to YOU that you've been getting your unemployment checks.

    And, of course, I agree with everyone else about the wedding... It's the love not the ceremony that counts. Renewing vows later on down the line when your lives are in a better financial state is an excellent idea.

    Take care; I'll be thinking about you!

  • and a suitcase when I ran away to marry my husband of 16 years. We were young and in love and happily paid the $25 marriage license fee. Yeah, sometimes I wished we had the wedding and the dress and all, but as long as we have each other it doesn't really matter. We've had our tough times but because of them, we grew even stronger.

    Araine, I know things look hopeless right now and I'm sorry you guys are in a bind. I understand it's worse on you because of your back problems and I couldn't imaging going without a doctor and treatment in this condition. We all have been nipping and tucking and tightening our belts. The economy is shot to hell and I hope it turns around soon. Things are going okay now but I will never forget the hard times and I take nothing for granted today.

    Because of all my back problems, I'm deep in medical debts and don't know if I'll pay everything off in this lifetime. We do what we have to do, there's no choice when it comes to this. I pray that you get your money and are able to get in again with a doctor. You can try looking for a community clinic in your area. They may not be able to do much, but at least they can give you meds to control the pain. If you take a long acting narcotic, Methadone is dirt cheap and works pretty well without breaking the bank. We all care for you and hope that things turn around. Take care
  • both me and Kath have been married before and both had the BIG DO new wedding rings the lot ! cost a fortune .when Kath and i met we got married {after the divorces came through!} Kath wore a two piece suit from ASDA {walmart to you folk!} i wore my first wedding suit {wish i could fit in to it now} and both rings came from a second hands shop and cost less than 80 pounds for the 2 and they are 22k gold.we got married in the local register office then a small amount of friends and family went to the local pub and that was it .the do cost including clothes and rings less than 300 pounds and we are still in love and have been married for nearly 11 years now .dont waste your money or get in to dept having a big wedding.if its ment to be ..it will good luck
  • LizLiz Posts: 7,832
    Hi Amber

    I am so sorry to see things are so bad for you at the moment. Life sends along these challenges and that's what makes us the people that we are. I used to be one the world's worst for worrying, so I know saying don't worry is easier said then done. One thing that helps, is you have a partner in your life that loves you and you are supporting each other.
    I really hope things get sorted out and life gets easier soon

    I am always here if you need to chat
    Take care
    Love Liz xxxx

    Liz, Spine-health Moderator

    Spinal stenosis since 1995
    Lumber decompression surgery S1 L5-L3[1996]
    Cervical stenosis, so far avoided surgery
  • Joebear (jeauxbert) had it right, get yer checking account paperwork in hand and go down to the office and make them prove to you that you've been getting 'their' money! Don't leave until your satisfied otherwise they'll just keep jerking you around!

    Emails and calling don't do a thing.

    As for cutting back on expenses, cut the newspaper, cable tv (just go basic) and the gym (walking your dog is more than enough!).

    Connect your computer to the tv and go to www.fancast.com and watch stuff from there (it's part of Comcast's network of free tv/movies, watch Nanny & the Professor, Lost In Space, Gilligan's Island, etc... and better than Hulu!).

    As for getting married, do the quick short expigated version (in a wet white T-shirt and short shorts and fishnet stockings and gold high heels!) for now (i think there's some tax benefits to it - the marrage part, not the stocking part) and do the 'go in debt' version later on...;>)
  • What a great statement from Jeaux..."It's the love not the ceremony that counts". I agree 110%.

    I am praying that you are doing well and things are working out for you.
  • Nah, it's the TAX DEDUCTIONS!!!!
  • LOL you are too funny Jim.
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