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Everything hitting at once I can't take it!

hisbeauty4asheshhisbeauty4ashes Posts: 182
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:28 AM in Depression and Coping
Hi my friends

I tell you my life like so many seems to be turned upside down for two months now, and with each coming day I find myself faced with more problems that I feel so so defeated.

It is bad enough that the pain has no end let alone dealing with one blow after another. I had a friend die a few months ago. I have been told I need two more surgeries one for Thoracic Outlet syndrome and will be seeing a specialist. Then I was told I need surgery for Trigger finger on my left thumb last week. I was told I have another bulged disc above the four disc's in my neck that have already been fused. My car has been in the shop six times, I just got it back and now it has another major problem, and another friend found out she has less then a few weeks to live because of Cancer. I mean it has just been crazy in my life. Where I live has been difficult because I have neighbors who are so loud and nothing gets done about it. I feel like so many on here it is a loosing battle.

I have already had five surgeries in a fourteen month period. I had seven surgeries before that I am only forty one.I cry off and on all the time. I get angry easy and then I cry I go back and forth. I am normally very happy person and I am the one who would make other people smile. Some times you feel like you do not even know who you are anymore.

Thanks for listening.


  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,842
    have to think Why, Why Me? Sometimes you just cant figure it out when everything happens so close together.
    I am not saying that just dealing with medical conditions is any easier, but when you have to deal with many different aspects of your life (car, friends, death, etc) it all becomes much more difficult.
    These are the times when we really need to know how we are going to deal with it. Many of us have different ways to go about doing that

    - Some keep it inside and try to figure it out
    - Some tell everyone, looking for someone to fix them
    - Some talk about it, but know they themselves can work with it
    - Some ignore it
    - Some blame the world for their problems

    Jeanie, dealing with that many surgeries in a short period of time is difficult. I guess I am lucky, my were spaced out over 22 years. Its never easy, having a good support function in your life is so very important. That could be anyone, it could be a friend, it could be a medical person, it could be a web site like Spine-Health.
    Heres wishing that some of these troubles start to disappear. Hope things do get better and with a positive outlook they will.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Hang in there and dont give up. I understand the feeling that your world is falling apart around you. It is a lot to take in in such a short amount of time. There is no doubt about that. Have you seen your PCP about the possibility of an anti-depressant. Those most generally will help with the crying and mood swings. The down side to them is that it does take 2-4 weeks to get into your system and see a noticable change.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you.
  • Hi Jeanie,

    It is completely understandable that you'd be feeling overwhelmed, and cry, and have mood swings... Coping with any one of those things would put anyone under stress, but together... well, thats just a test! More like a final exam! I think the surgeries and the losses you've suffered, and may be facing again in the near future are the biggies. In some ways, they are all loss - i mean to have had 5 sugeries in 14 months is like the loss or the old you... i know that feeling!! Its a process, a phase... not helped by the daily in and out challenges that are thrown at us... You need all the support you can get!! Go on and let it out - lots of support here!!
    Big hugs >:D<
    L4-L5 fusion 1998; ACDF C4-6 2008; DDD
  • Hi and thanks for the responses and encouragement.

    I am one that does not like Anti Depressants as they make you feel more depressed then you already are. I would rather cry and and be angry then be on those.

    I hurt so bad all over the last two days, and today was the worst. We have had allot of rain and cold in Cali and let me tell you it has caused the pain to escalate all over my body where I had the twelve surgeries, that I had to take more of my pain meds.

    Does anyone deal with worse pain in cold wet weather?

    Oh man this HURTS so bad!

    Thanks all

  • Hi Jeanie,

    oh yeah, the cold gets me too! I'm a california girl... living in Ireland, and our weather over here since Christmas has been anywhere from -6 to 6 celsius... COLD and we actually had snow on the ground for over a week... so damp, cold yikes. I took to wearing one of those gloves without fingers?? wore it practically all the time on my "bad" arm - wonder if thats why Jacko took to the glove?? lol

    Hope your day is better today!
    L4-L5 fusion 1998; ACDF C4-6 2008; DDD
  • I really liked talking with you in chat.
    I sometimes go in there for a good cry
    when I need it, and need it soon.
    it really helps.

    hope to talk again

  • Jeanie,

    Many people has similar stories and the key is to deal with then one at a time and think of them in separate boxes not let each one overrun the other and we do become overwhelmed. We are not machines and each one of these aspects you are dealing with is sufficient in isolation, let alone collectively. Chronic patients have multifaceted and accumulative hurdles to address and no sooner have we faced and surmounted one the next appears and more, with constant pace and regularity.

    Perhaps write them down in order of importance and get some help on each one, as our pain journey continues we are asked many important questions and the need to make more decisions increases and it is hard, one day at a time.

    My sister died recently from breast cancer.

    Take care and good luck. John

  • i too have TOS but my main problem is severe back and leg pain i have had 2 operations and i may require a third today is sunday and i am having a bad day not so much with pain {its no worse the usual } but i just feel low .so you are not on you own hun
    if you ever want to contact me feel free
    face book i am the Anthony beer in a grey suit stood next to Kath {my wife }she is a red head
    or MSN just use my email
    take care
  • Oh, Yes, You will see you are so ver much not alone.
    I had 4 surgeries in 1.5 years! Now a year later and I am almost to a SCS trial. Many, many of us feel increased pain with the weather. It is not always bad weather either! Sometimes I feel the worst on a flip flop weather change from cold to warm. Now, that is depressing! Trying to cope on a warm sunny day. I have found that some days it is best to not really try to cope. I just give up and go home! A blanket and turn up the thermostat, the remote control and vegetate! I would read but my arm/shoulder pain makes that uncomfortable. I'm also thinking of going to look for a frsh kitty to pet! Ours is a little aloof and she does not like me much :( Don't worry about my Avatar! He has been trained to not eat kitties. he loves to chase them and bounces after them gleefully! When he catches them he smooshes them with his nose and wiggles! Sorry, I'm rambling on again!
    Afternoons with pain meds make me ramble!
    You are not alone, please give it time and try to relax.
  • Thank you all so much. I know I will have bad times and I know there will be good in there also.You all are in my heart as I feel right along with you. I find it interesting that there are allot of us in our forties. I am forty one and was just really starting my life when all of this hit. I know the Lord knows and he will guide and direct my steps.

    Take care
  • In Canada is awful cold that goes right through you. I'm sorry for your pain. Hang in there, Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Today, Sunday, must be a bad day for most. I am feeling very low today too. Maybe it's because of the weather who knows.

    Like you, I've been struggling with a lot of things all at once including increased pain due to stress and other factors. Hang in there hon and feel free to pm me anytime you want to chat. We all need a shoulder to cry on once in awhile. Here I am at 1am not able to sleep cuz of the crappy day/life I've had/having.

    I hope you start to feel better soon. Cheer up, tomorrow is a BRAND new day!
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