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Pain and company

Cath111CCath111 Posts: 3,702
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:28 AM in Matters of the Heart
A couple of weeks ago, I started going off my pain meds and muscle relaxers because I was really starting to feel better. Then along comes mom-in-law and brother-in-law for what was supposed to be a five day visit and of course they need to stay with us. We have only one extra bedroom, so brother-in-law camped out in the living room - in my recliner. They kept postponing leaving and ended up staying here for eleven days and just left this morning.

After they were here for about four days, I really started hurting again and I'm now back on the meds. The pain is back like it was a month ago. I was so happy that I was starting to feel like I was really going to be pain-free, only to have it come back.

Even though I really love them, I think having them here took a toll on my body because of the stress. Has anyone ever had this happen?


PS - the good news is that I got my first tattoo because my brother-in-law is a tattoo artist. It's a little red heart with a black dog paw print in it in honor of my best little buddy, Merc, who you can see in my avitar.


  • hi!!!! sorry to hear you are back where you started with your pain meds. ~X( you can remain hopeful that once again you can go off of them. i know just a day with my family can lead to increased pain for me, let alone the many days you suffered through. :''( please just take it easy now and get back into your chair, rest and take your meds!! I) good luck in the next few days for a decrease in your pain level! :D Jenny :)
  • I know you love your relatives, but when someone stays for a while it can cause a bit of stress. It's just from making sure that everyone is comfortable and entertained. I know that you probably worried about the pain flaring up during their visit; I hate it when that happens and I have company. I don't like people seeing me laid up like that. I'm sorry your pain came back and hope it subsides soon. Take care
  • Blame the recliner! I know the loss of mine makes me miserable! I get cranky and it builds till I get it back! The fact that the recliners in the couch my wife just "HAD TO HAVE" are yucky has little to do with it. Well maybe more than little! She wanted them, now she still wants my recliner! Even though it is 17years old and propped up under one corner by a board so it does not lean!
    I used to be nice about it, now I just say, " I NEED MY CHAIR"....
    NO stress there...
    You'll be ok after you get back to normal for a few days.
    It's like quitting anything else, falling off the wagon does not mean you have to fail at it, just means you have to try harder! Honestly, I can't get comfortable in anything other than that stupid recliner! I am test driving new ones as I see them in stores. I know I need a new one, soon. Hey! maybe that will work? Buy a new one for the "others" :)
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,839
    Company period, relatives or friends can create an impact on your overall health.
    Basically its a break in your normal routine. Us Spineys get adjusted to certain things. We get up at a certain time, take meds at a certain time, eat at a certain time, etc

    So when anything disrupts that cycle, it can and will throw us off balance.

    Best thing is that it should only be a temporary change until you can get your cycles back on track

    Love the idea of the tattoo, you should post a picture of it here
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Thanks, Jenny. That was a great thought that I "can remain hopeful that once again you can go off of them." I haven't looked at it that way before, but I will now. It's just a few steps back. Personally, I love the way you said the many days I "suffered" through. Inlaws can really make it that way, can't they?

    Well, off to the recliner and Judge Judy.
  • Yes, you're so right about making sure they're comfortable and entertained. Let's add not hungry to that. There seems to be a lot of cooking to be done when having company.

    I never worried about getting a pain flareup during their visit because I had no idea that it could affect someone like this. But, wow, it sure can.

    Thanks for the nice wishes.

    Spineys Rule! :-)
  • What a crackup Wrambler! Of course your wife wants your recliner - it's all comfy and cozy. Plus, you always want what you can't have.

    We put my recliner in a place in the living room that had a big oversized chair that matched all the other furniture. We had always planned to take out the recliner and put the chair back after my surgery, but I just keep putting it off. I never had one before and I soooo love it.

    Personally, I'm thinking about a hotel room the next time they come - for either me or them, doesn't matter. :-)
  • It is a break in the routine and that's difficult. But I also feel that it can be a sort of invasion. My house is my sanctuary where I can get away from noise, people, etc. and when that's taken away, where is there to go to feel that peace? But you, Jenny, Wrangler and Meydey are right - I know it won't take long to get back on track.

    Then I get to start looking for another job. Ack I better not get started on that!!

    About the tattoo, I kinda sorta lied. It's not so little and it also includes three yellow roses. I'll get a picture of it posted. I think you'll like it.

    Thanks again PapaRon.
  • Cath111

    Changing those nuances of behaviour and modifying how we present ourselves is always different than when we have more control and do not place those expectations of other on ourselves.

    I laughed out loud initially when I was asked to try relaxation techniques but with knowledge enthusiasm and some practice could see and feel the benefit of this new technique. You now have a short list of what makes you pain worse and isolating ourselves from it, is not that we do not want to be friendly but that change itself makes things worse. At times we have to take others considerations into account, we learn though experience not to put those above our own pain and to some extent we fall into the process of not wanting to show everyone our limitation or foibles and in that method everyone thinks we are Ok and what is the fuss all about. It is good that we try and we are to be applauded and we still need some me time.

    Communal lunchtimes at work are a problem for me and become more introverted as I attempt unsuccessfully to manage the pain with all the skills and experience that I can muster without success, from that searing and unimaginable pain. Calling all cars ! to the casual observer my inability to sit and relax must seem unusual, distraction only works to a point and then rest become mandatory.

    Perhaps I need “call back later I am out” as my message, somewhere visible.


  • I think having houseguests inhibits our ability to really relax. I find my muscles really tighten up and/or get very tired when we have guests for several days. And while I love having friends and family around I am SO relieved when they leave and I can really relax.

    We had guests most of last week and I was shot by the time they left. However, once I had a chance to relax for a day I felt much better again. One thing I have found helpful - if my guests go out and do something without me during the day. We had company for a week in the fall who left every morning and went out to do their own thing. They came back in the late afternoon and we spent the evenings together. This enabled me to relax during the day and enjoy their company at night.

  • Like above, we know how to not hurt so much so we avoid things that hurt at all costs. We go home, ASAP, always! When people visit, or steal your recliner =)) , You lose that space to relax! I know that I used to love to go anywhere, do most anything. Loved new restaurants and off the norm foods that I had not tried before, no thankyou on some of the gross stuff though. Anyway, now, I go home straight after work. Grab my recliner, take my meds and wait for the little bit of relief they give. My wife will call and want to meet at our favorite food place. I now turn her down :( . I just can't force myself to leave once I'm settled in. I will even stay home the entire weekend to avoid anything that makes any part of me hurt! I am so hoping I can shake this mode of "living" when the weather breaks! We also have a trip to Florida scheduled the first week in April. Two weeks after my SCS trial, so I'm hoping I will have enough answers to move on at that point!
    I hope you feel better now that they are gone and can get back to your plan! Let's see that tattoo!!!
  • Stress can definitely take a toll. I'm a full-time college student, and I always notice that I'm in more pain from midterms to the end of term. Of course, I don't know whether it's purely stress, or if the fact that I'm more rested coming off a break than as the term wears on means something. Perhaps it's a bit of both. I agree with everyone--it makes perfect sense that the change in your comfort level and routine combined with the extra stress of having visitors put you in a bit of a funk.
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