I don't know how to start and I can't really concentrate to be precise, so I'm going to just blurt this out and hope it makes sense.
I'm so scared right now. I've had a 3-lvl acdf over four months ago and feel pretty good, but I tried to swing a golf club today three times, and it really hurt my neck. Don't know if I'll ever be able to play golf again.
I was laid off about four weeks ago, and the job market looks really grim.
For the last three weeks, I've been having some very severe sciatica pain that hurts my left butt cheek and travels down to the outside of my left knee and I'm almost sure it's because of a problem with my lumbar spine. I'm having a hard time walking, blow drying my hair (because lifting my arms hurt) and the shooting pain just hurts so bad. I don't know for sure that this is a pinched lumbar nerve, but I've researched enough to believe that's what's happening. I can't get this issue looked at or taken care of because of lack of insurance. I just can't take another spine issue.
I'm so scared because I think if I don't do something about this awful sciatica, I'll have permanent damage, and I'm so unbelievably tired of the pain, and I can't seem to manage a normal life although I try, and I don't want to be permanently disabled, and I'm so thoroughly disheartened by it all. Everything seemed like it would be ok after my ACDF and I started feeling better, but then all this stuff started happening.
I feel like I just want to take the major pain meds I got after surgery and just lie down and sleep all day. I keep making lists of things I need to do tomorrow just so I feel like I have a purpose.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to whine, but sometimes it seems too much to take. I know so, so many of you have it worse than I do and I don't want to take away from your problems. I guess I'm just feeling a bit hopeless and need to vent.
Crud and thanks.