Once upon a time, I was a biker. I rode crotch rockets, thats what I loved, I loved everything about it, speed, adrenaline, control, its what I loved and what I loved to do. Not only did I ride them but I worked on them to. I had worked for a dealership, but I stopped that and I just worked on them for myself or for my friends, thats how me and my friends spent our time together improving or fixing our bikes and riding all day long. Since my back injury I haven't been able to do either. I mean I can barely walk, I surely can't ride. I've kept the severity of my injury from my friends. I have been on "couch" rest since the injury, and this morning I got a phone call. A friend of mine wanted me to "break in" his new tires and I told him I couldn't. He asked me how soon I'd be able to be a part of the group again and thats when I told him that I am awaiting a spinal fusion between L4-L5 L5-S1, and that I may never be apart of the group again as I may never be able to ride again. I broke down and I still haven't recovered from that break down. I hate to think that I will never be a part of my group that I fathered again. I am usless and that kills me. I mean "Who am I, if I can't be me"