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Well I guess this is it

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,670
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:29 AM in Chronic Pain
If you have read my other posts you know I have been having problems with the pain clinic I go to. I can't go anywhere else because There just isn't anywhere else TO go.

I have had the worst experiences at this place. I only go there now because they prescribe my hydrocodone. I signed the form and agreed to be tested to make sure I am not abusing etc... Had my first urine screen there a couple months ago. Had been there about 4 times and never had a test.

I got my script after which was only for two weeks. seemed kind of strange. I hate calling them because they are always so rude and there is always a problem so I just made the two weeks last as long as I could. Script ran low so I called for a refill. Got the run around, treated like a criminal, the whole deal. Had to wait almost a whole week due to phone tag, pharmacy screw ups, drug shortages, being told I would have to take my script and call all over town to find it myself...you know...the normal stuff.

During the time I was out I had a flare up. They are severe and although I have talked to the staff at the clinic about them numerous times nobody seems to care. I was a mess. I was trying to go to my part time job and I was in so much pain I started to feel suicidal. This happens to me when these flares hit and last for days on end. I feel like I am in a trap and i can't get out no matter what I do. It sucks!

So I did a bad thing and asked a friend of mine if she would let me have one of her percosets because I could not deal. She had to bring them to me because i couldn't move. She gave me two and I took one then and it helped to take the edge off but did not take a lot of the pain away. I saved the other one for a few days and after 3 days of still not being able to get my own script filled I took the other one. That was it. I really wanted to get into my car and drive into a wall at 100 mph because I could not take the pain anymore but instead I did the "unthinkable" and took someone elses medication.

That was over a month ago. I have since finally gotten my script, which will be my last. I went to the pain clinic today and was tested. My urine screen showed Oxycodone. I had forgotten about the percoset. I admitted to the nurse that this is what had happened. She said that it was still in my system. after a month. I was not even concerned about it because I wasn't trying to get away with anything and I had actually forgot about it since it was so long ago.Well the verdict is in and Guess what kids...I'm a drug abuser!

I sure am glad I stayed sober and straight when all my friends were killing themselves with booze and drugs. Smoked a little pot here and there. been drunk twice in my life. So much for that though because now I will never be able to get pain meds. I love this system. I can probably go find some skater kids at the local mall and buy them. I'm sure they can get them. oh wait. i don't have the money to be a real drug addict. sorry to offend anyone. Seems like everything Is a punishment these days.


  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,875
    really consider seeing professional help. Its one thing about pain medications and flare ups. We have all been there many times. Its almost impossible to predict flareups, but it is in our total control knowing when our medications are running low and what has to be done.
    We can not blame the pharmacist or doctors or other centers if we get ourselves into situations. Flare ups are not any reason why additional medication should be allowed or medications time periods altered.
    Any member here will repeat that taking other people's pain medication is a very dangerous thing.
    Please seek some help

    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • I had a script for two weeks and i tried to make it last because I did not want to deal with the attitudes i get from the staff there whenever a refill is needed. My script ran LOW meaning I did not wait til I was out. Why should it take almost a week for a patient to get a script filled AFTER that script has been submitted to the pharmacy? I ran out WHILE I was waiting for the pharmacy and the clinic to communicate with each other...with my help...due to a "manufacturing problem" with the 7.5/325 hydros. all they had to do was rewrite the script for 7.5/500 which the pharmacy advised the pain clinic were available. They finally did this after almost a week. How did I shun responsibility in getting my medication? What kind of professional help do you suggest? This was a one time thing. What is it about my post that leads you to believe I need some kind of professional help? Please be more specific?
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,875
    take this offline
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • well that offline message was the biggest insult I have ever had thrown at me. Forget it. I'm tired of trying to explain. It does no good. I will have to do what I feel is right for me and I think that includes not being on this forum if things like that are assumed by someone who does not even know me.
    If it is THAT easy to judge me from a post on a forum there is no need for me to stick around. Your mind is obviously made up.
  • If your pain was so out of control that you were contemplating suicide, then you should have gone to the ER and obtained treatment legally. It has nothing to do with the doctor or the pharmacy actions; it's your responsibility to obtain your medications legally, whether the delay involved is caused by outside forces or your own actions.

    The whole tone of your post and nonchalant attitude with regard to obtaining narcotics illegally and using medication not prescribed to you is the exact reason chronic pain patients have to struggle with the drug seeking junkie stigma. ~X(

  • If you're still around I really do agree with Bionic woman to go to the ER. I had to go when my Dr was on vacation. I also would find a Dr who is more there for you.Take care. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • What I don't understand is, that if during the time you were out of your medication, you were in so much pain you were suicidal and had to have a friend bring you some of her meds because you could not move. Why did you not raise a big stink at the clinic once you got your refill straightened out? How could you have "forgotten about the percocet", when it was what pulled you through those days.

    Things just don't seem to add up.

    So did the Pain Clinic fire you as a patient? Did they recommend any course of action? Is anyone working with you to help control you pain?

  • that makes ME think you should seek professional help is the statement:

    "I was a mess. I was trying to go to my part time job and I was in so much pain I started to feel suicidal. This happens to me when these flares hit and last for days on end. I feel like I am in a trap and i can't get out no matter what I do. It sucks!"

    Don't take that as an insult. This is coming from someone that attempted, and almost succeeded at, suicide by Ambien 11 years ago-Oh, and I was 7 1/2 months pregnant, so it was TWO lives I could have ended. Thank God I got help, the State didn't take my kids away as planned because I admitted that I needed help-that's the biggest part of the battle-and then I followed thru with it. To this day I still get Psych help-not because I'm thinking suicidal, but because chronic pain can destroy us, ANY ONE OF US, at any time, from the inside out-before we even know it's hit us....and sorry, but often, "self medicating", be it thru other's scripts, alcohol, street drugs, doubling doses, doctor shopping, yada yada yada, is indicative that you are on that self destructive path, thanks of course to that good ole "friend" of ours called PAIN!

    Because Ron cares, because I care, because we ALL care-THAT is why we suggest you seek help. Not to judge, not to be angry or bitter, point fingers and whisper behind your back-this isn't high school, this is our life, and we have to do what we have to do, but we also have to suffer the consequences when we screw up, and by that, ALL of us suffer because SOME screw up. It's not just you, my friend.

    I do hope you find a Dr willing to work with you and help you, and I do hope you are able to get some good psych help-as I have gotten myself. It just might save your life w/o you even realizing it before hand!

    God's blessings, and praying for relief for your pain..
  • I DID put up a STINK at the pain clinic...are you serious??? I had to document every phone call I made with dates and times who I spoke to what they said..I had the nurse put it in my chart. Nonchalant??? How could I forget? I don't know maybe because I am in so much freaking pain every day that its hard enough for me to remember to put my shoes on before I walk out the door. Maybe it is because my depression just keeps pushing me deeper and deeper into a hole I can't dig my way out of regardless of therapy. maybe its because it was A MONTH AGO!!

    Maybe I am just a bad person who is ruining it for everyone. You people are so perfect! Its people like me who cause the problem...whatever. if you even had any idea what is going on and If I had the time to type every detail of what happened maybe you would stop trying to turn me into some kind of villain. What doesn't add up? Tell me...

    And as far as the emergency room? I'm sure it was the right thing to do...If I could have driven myself...or wanted to spend five hours in severe pain in a waiting room. GOD!!!! I,m not talking flare up like my back hurts worse than normal I'm talking blinding headaches, burning muscle pain all over my body, loss of coordination, can't walk, feel like I am going crazy etc...

    I do NOT take other peoples pills for fun. It is NOT something I do for kicks. Give me a break with all the holier than though crap about breaking the law. Don't act like none of you have had times when you would have done anything to NOT feel that pain! An how lucid were you during that pain? How well were you functioning? How many times does a person have to tell their doctors they deal with this kind of pain? I have BEGGED these people to look into it...to help me with it...I'm done...I can't do this anymore.

    I'm not going to try to explain anymore. Think what you want.
  • EMT: Thanks, but I think my doctor searching days are over. I could tell you what else happened at the pain clinic yesterday with the nurse but it's too much. maybe later if i feel like coming back. Its just another account of people being insincere. Something that really made me realize that I am not important to these people at all.
  • And for the record...I have been in counseling and seeing a shrink for YEARS...only problem....there is never one that I can stay with for any length of time...Insurance only pays for clinic visits, those people don;t stay at the clinic....they go off to find better jobs. The patient gets stuck with a brand new Psych every couple months to a year.
    I have been labeled treatment resistant. They don't even know how to help me.
  • i have been with pain dr for 10 years and i never had to do a urine or blood test etc. i keep track of my meds and my dr says if i got low, which i should not do, to call him. imho, the pain clinic must suspect something if they want you to have tests. for flare ups, there are meds called breakthrough meds which you use for flare ups. i have my pain meds, and use other pain meds for breakthrough pain. it is weird that clinic has not discussed breakthrough meds with you. these are common and a lot of people on this board use them. like someone said, all of this gives pain patients a bad name. most of my drs and clinics have been very helpful and compassionate with me. if they are not, then they probably suspect something with you. i sit and listen when i am waiting for my appt and the nurses seem to always talk to someone who needs more meds. the nurses are polite but they tell the patients that they need to use meds as directed. clinics and nurses and drs get tired of patients demanding pain meds all of th etime and they hear excuses all the time also. maybe you should have a heart to heart with your pain dr
    I have 4 fusions from L5-3, the latest last May '12 where they fixed my disc that broke.They went through my side this time. I take 40 mg of oxycontin 4x a day and 4 fenatyl lollipops 300 micro gms 4x a day.
  • Well I wish I could go where you go....
  • Its policy that they make you take tests.
  • not to argue or anything with ya my friend, but my PM Clinic does random drug testing and pill counts too & there is absolutely no reason for them to suspect me for anything regarding med abuse. MANY of them are doing it now...cause of that PITA we all know and love known as "The DEA"...

    Just wanted to let ya know that-and to say you are very lucky to have such leeway with your PM doc! ;o)

    BTW, I hope you're hanging in there alright-I know I've been gone awhile, but you're always in my prayers too hun! =)

    God Bless,
  • I do not have a pain doctor....I go to a CLINIC...I have been there 5 times and have seen 4 different nurses. I requested to see a doctor. I always get a nurse. I had a heart to heart with the nurse...she acted like I stubbed my toe...nobody is helping me...I haven't done anything but try to explain to them what I go through. They never talk about breakthrough pain. They never do anything for me. I can't go anywhere else. I have crappy insurance...nobody will do anything.
  • EMT: That long angry post was not directed at you. sorry...It just showed up under yours. the short one addressed to you under the big angry one was for you. Sorry. I was not trying to be mean to you.
  • ok!

    your life is crap...we get it!
    but remember this...YOU made the mistake!

    now...while you sit there thinking but ...i work...my insurance....they....

    be grateful that you can still work, that you do still have insurance, and that however crappy it may be, you have the right to change your dr's!...to recieve adequate medical care!

    i sincerely hope that you first look in the mirror for the help you need...because after all, that is the only person you have to face every day!
  • is that it causes us to lash out at people, be it loved ones in our "real" lives, or our virtual ones.

    I did say, for the record, that it's NOT just you that's screwed up...just making sure you read that part.

    I'm not here to judge anyone. I used to spark up a doobie every day multiple times for 2 years straight back in the day-I was a borderline alcoholic for 3 years over a guy that cheated on me with my "best friend"-I had sex with a National Guard Soldier for $50 so I could buy my babies diapers, wipes, food and cigarettes and gas for myself-13 years ago....

    I merely suggested, based only on what you've written because I'd have no other way to know or assume anything, that you're depressed from living the same damn life I do where the pain makes you so miserable and you feel you can do no right when it comes to wanting relief. I got that feeling because...well, my curtains stay closed all the time, the lights stay off, the doors stay locked, the phone goes unanswered, I avoid the computer for days, weeks, even months on end, I become completely introverted and isolate myself....all because I hurt, 60 seconds of minute of every hour of every day, 365, 24/7, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it because my bosses didn't care either....

    No offense intended-but I am in way too much pain today..... due to a possible CSF leak from injections yesterday-leaving me in the hospital half the night and still waiting on someone to make it stop.....to argue with anyone, over anything, or to even waste my time being hurt or offended by someone that doesnt know me or even mean to hurt me-that is only in the same pain I am in, physically AND emotionally.

    God Bless-and I don't say that lightly....
  • Thanks for clearing that up for me...your awesome! I never thought about that before...the fact that i made a mistake. I look in my mirror every day! Every day...........
  • What I have learned today....Never tell the truth about certain things. it is much better to lie or omit information. That way you don't give others ammo to shoot you down with.
  • No harm done...no apology necessary! I may not "agree" with what you did, but I DO understand it, and completely sympathize with why you did it! We're ALL human...just please stay on top of your mental health-don't let the pain win! Be strong, even when the days are pitch dark....

    Feel free to PM me to vent if you need to, but know that I often "disappear" from virtual reality for days, weeks or even at times months on end, so you may not always get a quick reply. I do however always reply when I get the PM's so please be patient.

    Meanwhile...I think everyone in this discussion needs to take a deep breath. Is it really worth it to be so worked up over a message board post when we're all in the same sinking ship together anyway? We have enough problems in this world right now-we don't need to be hating too!

    This board is my family-I love each and every member-whether I agree with them or not. That's what we're here for aren't we? To support...not to judge. (and yes I realize I've been guilty of doing that myself in the past so anyone thinking about throwing that stone, don't bother-cause I already know, which is why I'm very cautious now before I speak harshly to another member about anything).

    I have to try to rectify this spinal headache situation...I hope you're able to have a better day telula (and everyone else too!)....
  • i go to pain dr not a clinic and by the way i used to drive 200 miles to see my old pain dr who moved to lake tahoe. so you can see you are not constricted to one dr. look around and you might have to drive a ways but it is hard to believe that this is the only pain dr around. most urban areas have multiple pain drs or clinics. call the local hospital and get a list and also ask them for a list of drs out of town. you might have to drive a while but there are no excuses for not getting pain drs. also please don't tell me you don't have a car i heard someone use that excuse before.
    p.s. emt- yes i go to a pain dr not a clinic and maybe that is why i don't get tested
    I have 4 fusions from L5-3, the latest last May '12 where they fixed my disc that broke.They went through my side this time. I take 40 mg of oxycontin 4x a day and 4 fenatyl lollipops 300 micro gms 4x a day.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,875
    Lets try to keep this positive, if we cant the thread then should be closed.
    I believe folks here have made their statements.
    The rest might be best off using private messages
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Yes I do have a car. I have three doctors. a primary care lpn, a psychiatrist, and the pain clinic. I don't see a regular doctor at the pain clinic. I have requested several times to be seen by the doctor, to build up a relationship, to have someone that can become familiar with my issues. They just won't let it happen. I also see a counselor and am in anger management classes right now. I Try to stay on top of my mental health and always go to my appointments. I stated before I have been labeled treatment resistant and the doctors can't find a good regimin of meds for me because alot of times the meds they think would help me are not covered. They have done pre-authorizations for them and are turned down anyway. That is out of my control.

    The reason I am at this pain clinic is because the last surgeon I saw told me that surgery was a long shot and that it was more than likely I would remain the same or get worse. There was a very small chance I would get relief and If I did I would have to have it done every few years due to degeneration.

    I felt that the small chance of relief was not enough considering he said I would be laid up for up to a year. I don't have a support system per say. I don't live with anyone and other people in my life have lives and they would help me out but they could not be there all the time.
    He sent me to the pain clinic and said that it was the last option.

    I have been to many doctors. Its not like I just stay there because I'm stubborn or lazy. My Primary care doesn't even know where to send me. I told her I wanted to leave the pain clinic. She told me to stay there until we found something else. She said she has to figure out where to refer me.

    I'm no stranger to this. I have been dealing with this for over 20 years. I am tired and wearing out. Thats all. When doctors can't help you or don't want to they send you somewhere else. They pass the buck. Anytime there has been a plan to put me on a medication or get me something to help me the insurance company turns it down. I AM glad I have insurance but the Practice manager nurse at the Pain clinic and my primary care have BOTH told me flat out that it doesn't cover what I need. I could benefit from many treatments or medications but it is not available to me. It isn't because I don't try.

    The nurse I saw yesterday at the pain clinic made it seem like she was going to help me. I had seen her once before. I told her that If she was serious about helping me I wanted to try and see her each time. She nodded in agreement. She told me I could call her if I was having problems getting my meds or anything else. I started to feel like maybe I could finally get someone to listen to me. She did not "fire" me as a patient for having the bad urine test. She said she would send it to the lab and have it retested (??) and "she" would decide what to do after that. She joked with me and made me laugh and gave me some pamphlets and a paper with streches on it. She told me to take care and she would see me in a month.

    I went to the counter to get my new appointment and I requested to see her again. The Girl said "She is leaving...this is her last week"................I wanted to go back there and ask her why she didn't just say that? But I just took my card and left.
  • ....that was the point of my post.

    sorry to be jerk about it, but i hate to see others sunk in useless pity parties!...you can get so much more accomplished when you are angry! and if it takes you getting angry at me, so be it, i have thick skin, and can take it!..lol

    now...i know its frustrating to be caught in the loop of what the doc wants you to take, and what the insurance will allow...try talking to customer service, gettind a list of allowable meds for your doc? or a list of meds from doc to take to ins. co. for approval?

    keep fighting! dont let the system get you down!
  • Thanks but....The state of mind I am in right now is pretty touch and go. I'm fine with your tactic but please be careful....others may not be able to handle that kind of a comment.
  • are you workman's comp or regular insurance. I have not heard of insurance companies not covering meds. workman's comp will get preauthorization but i have not heard of regular insurance doing it. i may be wrong, but i never have had to get preauthorization for meds. they might not cover something or charge you 50% of price. does not sound like a good insurance plan if they do
    I have 4 fusions from L5-3, the latest last May '12 where they fixed my disc that broke.They went through my side this time. I take 40 mg of oxycontin 4x a day and 4 fenatyl lollipops 300 micro gms 4x a day.
  • This has everything to do with the pain contract you signed,it is not about DEA,Doctors ect,i have signed a contract too,if i broke a rule,then i would have to face the music,i hope you get help,but this is why they have pain contracts.Dont blame the system......
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