I am disappointed in myself. I wonder if sometimes we create some of our own problems. Do you ever wonder if you are guilty of being your own enemy? I know I am my own worst enemy!
It is instinct to want to live life to the fullest, do things for our self, be independent, carry our weight, not be a burden, and just do what we want.But does that instinct hurt us in the long run? Do we hurt ourselves?
Would we heal faster, better, stay healed longer if we weren't in such a hurry to get back in the game? Is there anyone out there that could prove otherwise? Because we need to, we have to go back to work to support our families, do household chores, be there for our kids and spouse, shop, yard work, cook or whatever it is that we find ourselves doing because we need to or want to.
We do try not to BLT,we do try to take our Drs. advice seriously to alleive or eliminate the pain. We do try to follow restrictions with as much time and patience as possible.
But we are all guilty of doing things we shouldn't just once or twice here and there daily. I know I think I'll just lean over to get this, lift that,then later when I'm hurting more, I realize I bent,lifted and twisted more than I should have. Then I worry will the pain get better, go away, or did I hurt myself for today or longer? Will I pay for this forever? Every time we bend, lift, sit too long, twist, whatever we do all day are we making the discs weaker each time? Are we causing the fusion to be weak, the screws/hardware to loosen? Could we help ourselves more? How? How much is too much? Not enough?
OK, I feel really dumb because I'm guilty of doing some pretty bad things this week which I am really paying for! Instinct will kill me! My washing machine sits on a small ledge and it was off balance, jumping...so my instinct was to run toward it, and hold it down until I could turn it off because I though it was going to fall off onto the car! But how dumb is that? It's a 200# front loader, like I could have stopped it from falling even before all this!
YIKES! OK, that was enough to cause the old recurrent pain in my lower back, rear, down my legs, nerves on fire!!! I hope I didn't hurt myself for the long road ahead! I was hoping for better days and a long time before another surgery!
But if that wasn't enough ...for some reason I think because I'm at 5 months I could and should do more so I decided to organize the closet a little bit. I thought the box was light and it was heavy, so I put it back, then I thought I could reach to the back of the closet to get a few things....obviously, I can't think clearly or I'm not strong enough to do as much as I want...my body won't let me do what my heart and head wants to do!
So I'm here in bed with two heating pads, one on my back, one on my legs, tramadols in my system trying to behave myself and get the pain in check before my husband has a heart attack! DH says he has worked too hard helping me for me to hurt myself. He wants me to stay in bed and behave! Actually, he just wants to be sure I can still cook dinner tonight or should he get take out for them...LOL...he is happy I am in charge of meals again! LOL!!!
So that is why I ask these questions. I know we are all trying to do what we can. We do what we need and want to to have somewhat of a life.
Just wondering what are you guilty of today?
What do you think? Could we, would we heal better, faster, longer? What should we do? Live in a box!
Have a good day!