well saw my neurologist tuesday he agrees with the nuero surgeon that my severe pain is not structural in origin. yes i have some issues ddd disc herniations and stenosis but he says these are not the cause of my pain or my increasing nureo symptoms such as poor balance shot reflexes and continued pain that is just about manageable with the butrans patches.
anyhow he mentioned ms lupus or pernicious anaemia or other inflammatory conditions as potential causes. so its more blood tests a lumbar puncture and sensory evoked potentials.
i just want some answers and most of all my life back things get harder everyday my activities of daily living are increasingly restricted thank god for an amazing partner work well i have just gone back on sedentary duties that are much better for me than going back to being a scrub nurse. but even this new job is killing me i have to rely on a stick now towards the end of each day.
i just want to no whats going on cos i feel like i am drowning its like a slow slide into oblivion and my god it is sooo hard to be positive i dont go anywhere or do anything and i worry my friends will get p****d off with me. i am not depressed as such just very tired and very fed up i have gone from being the life and soul to a 39 year old woman living in a 95 year old body having to be helped in and out of the shower or walked to the bathroom in the evenings or the middle of the night because of the chance of falling due to such crappy balance.
well am going now i have ranted enough i do apologise.