I read a lot of stories from individuals on this forum where their family, friends, and spouses give post surgical support. Of course, I regretfully and sympathetically read posts where people post surgically find themselves alone, abused, or in the midst of divorce.
Anyway, I agree that those recovering from spinal fusion needs a rather stress free environment to recover in. That is why I cannot continue to date the woman I have seen for the past two years. Like most relationships we have had our ups and downs, but she has no empathy for my temporary disabilities. She still wants me to take her out to the movies, pay for dinner, and sleep over her apartment on an almost daily basis. Her general tone with me over the past 2 months is "we don't do anything fun anymore" (my surgery was 10 weeks ago). She makes me feel ridiculously guilty and I walk on eggshells around her. I tried to explain to her that I have 6 screws in my spine with titanium rods and it will take me some time to heal. Historically, whenever she'd suffer from a common cold I rush to her doorstep with NyQuil, Nasal Decongestant, and homemade chicken noodle soup. Unbelievable ...
I think that a year or two from now I'll be posting how much my back has healed, succeeding at work through the turmoil, and maybe involved in a healthy friendship. I can only hope right now, but it seems a long way off. Right now, things seem grim, dim, and frustrating. Pathetic huh?
Thanks for listening,