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hopeless-in-mnhhopeless-in-mn Posts: 206
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:30 AM in Matters of the Heart
Many of us try to post, only to go unanswered...try to chat, only to be ignored.

perhaps once we fit in, we belonged...we were home......
---and now, alone.

if this sound familiar, i'd love some company, a chance to not feel so alone. This is the only place i can "get out and make friends", so that is what i'm trying to do...

I hope to hear from you soon!



  • Oh, come on and chat with me. You will see that it's so easy to be gloom and doom free. Poet and didn't know it. WOW!!
  • why would i want to chat with someone who cannot ask ME a question?...must ask others in the room who no longer know me. If you had asked me, you would have learned, that i am NOT ALL DOOM AND GLOOM, and actually just wanted an open debate!...like i said, i like to argue...keeps the mind fresh!
    I try not to bring my problems to the site, and try not to discuss my pain. I usually just say that it is the SSDD /:) .
    I rarely cry, as I can't afford myself the luxury of pity for very long.
    but like most of us, I worry, i wonder, I stress, and just fight each day as it comes.
  • Well, if that's how you feel about your situation, then fine. I was making suggestions, not demands nor barking at you. If I have to talk to you in the form of questions, then there's no reason to talk because i would get the same answer everytime.... gloom and doom.
    Have you tried drinking some coffee today? It can do wonderous miracles. Those eyelids will crank right up. I'm trying to help with the HAPPY DEPARTMENT. Is there really anything I can say that would make you laugh or just be happy?
  • just an apology for your rudeness?
  • the only issue-
    ---there have been others that hve suddenly stopped chatting, avoided my questions/attempts to communicate, and that issue seems to have spread throughout the site.
    I feel as if in a horror movie, transported back to my high school days, the '80's!
    -big hair!,bright colors, fake on the outdie looks are everything mentality. "Cliques"

    ....I want more of the '70's family, peace, love for all kinda place.
  • Argue or Debate? Which one? Because in the chat you were arguing and i was simply trying to make you laugh or make you happy. You refused to do that and got mad. Now, you can stay mad and all that if you want. An apology, NO. I have nothing to apologize for except trying to make you laugh or happy. Now if you want me to apologize for either one of those, then I'm "sad" to say, no can do. Please try to have some kind of happy day. Arguing is not a way to chat with others. Especially the way you were arguing. I have nothing else to say about this and I leave you with....Good Day!
  • I don't chat on here, but will gladly correspond with you via private message?

    If you ever need to vent, feel free to drop me a note and I will answer just as soon as I can.

  • I, like Tammy, don't go into chat. I will once in a great while. I would prefer to respond and interact with people this way. You may PM me if you feel like talking or have any questions. I'd be happy to gain another spine buddy. It seems us spiney's are the only ones who truly get it.

    I'm sorry that you feel you have been alienated. I really don't like clicks either and try to communicate and help everyone on here.

    I've been on chat a few times but can't keep up with the conversations so I prefer to interact this way as I find it's more personable, IMO. In addition other members new and old and research a topic we have covered and it may help them in some way.

    Take care and I hope you find the comfort, support and understanding from Spine-Health as I have had and do have.
  • hi!! :H well, i guess you could say what goes around comes around!! :? you may not want it, but i am more than happy to offer my friendship to you. >:D< pm me anytime. i know just how it feels to be picked on and left out of things here on the forum. :''( all you can do is pick yourself up and go it alone.. i hope you find what you are looking for here. i never go to chat. too many cliches! it is hard to get back in, once it is decided you are out!! :''( all the best! :D Jenny :)
  • I would like to invite anyone who wants to participate to come to chat. The evening hours are the busiest, so if you can't keep up, try a different time. There is almost always someone ready to chat. If it is empty when you check, just log in and someone will come along shortly. My perception is that everyone is friendly and if you want to be included, you will be included. Sorry some of you have felt it isn't that way. Please remember that if there are 15 people in a chat room at one time, everyone talking at the same time, it takes a while to understand everyone's writing styles and get to know the different members. The way I see it is that no one alienates anyone from chat. Please keep in mind that we can't see anyone's faces, hear the tone in anyone's voices. Things may come off as offensive when they are not meant to be. On teh flip side of that is that you may say something that could be interpreted as offensive when you don't mean it to be. Isn't life too short to choose to be offended? One of the purposes of the chat rooms is that it serves as a distraction to help all of us forget about our pain for a few minutes. But the moment someone has a serious issue and jumps in and starts talking, others will rally around that person and offer support. Or there are several other less busy rooms you can move to with another member if you are having a hard time keeping up. Come on people, let's all be adults and just get along.

    Surviving chronic pain one day at a time, praying for a reprieve because living another 40 years like this doesn't sound too fun!
  • Cindy,

    Very nicely said. There are plenty of rooms to use in chat. So if one isn't working for you feel free to go to another room. I certainly hope members don't think chat is for arguing just for the purpose of a argument? Somedays chat goes really quick and you may not notice who is typing and who isn't. Many take phone calls, answer family members or just setting there watching chat.

    Dawn, I'm confused you said you make post and they are not being answered? I commend all the members here on answering post. If one fell through the cracks it was totally by mistake. I searched your user name, to see if I could find a post not answered, and I was not successful in finding such a post. This is a holiday week so I would assume that traffic on the boards is down a bit due to members having family commitments and what not. Also it is possible that your post made it to a second page without being answered and may have just got lost. So please let us know what the question is and where the post is and maybe someone could answer your questions or concerns.

    If your having issues with a member or two i prefer to use one of the mods or take it up with them in a pm. But overall chat is a very good place, and I know you have spent a lot of time in there as well. I know you have made friends with several members as well. With a board with 10,000 members there are going to be days when you don't know everyone in chat or they don't know you that is what makes it so unique. Anyway let us know what questions you had that didn't get answered and maybe we can help you. Take care.
  • What's the purpose of this thread?
  • I don't go to chat because a couple of times I went there people logged off without saying goodbye. Or set themselves to brb and never came back. I have problems with people asking my real name and where I work and live. I like being anonymous for protection as I'm collecting disability and don't want to say too much but I always like to talk about hobbies or people's questions of pain and the occassional joke. I'm still upset that Drea went away without really letting me say goodbye to her she was kind to me. I'm also upset as Zach left also because he was told he was a fake. At least he pmed me to let me know what happened though I don't know why he left. There are lots of us who prefer not to chat because of personal reasons. I'm not sure what happened with your experience but know that although we will have differences of opinion and don't take things personel. If just being on the forums helps you just stay here. I don't want you to leave or feel that you don't belong here. You belong here just as any of us. If your post is missed post it again. Bump it up to the top. I try to spend hours here reading everyone's posts but I would have to spend all day here to do that. Please just repost and repost again until someone sees your post. Anyone is also free to pm a moderator if they're having a problem. And there are many times someone has pmed me and I will answer. I have alot of buddies but can't keep up with everyone. But it is good to be noticed. Even now I hope you feel better because people are trying to reach out. Just stick with the forums if you feel left out in chat. I'm sad some people left. Hang in there Dawn. I always say take care but I mean it to everyone. Take care. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • i am guilty of logging out without saying goodbye...as i figure as no one has noticed me for quite awhile, they will not notice that i have left anyway...
    I guess maybe i'm just too raw still from being mistreated and distrusted by those in the medical field that i thought were there to help me. (oh how i wish i could figure out how to post my mri pics to show you all!)
    how the government system that is supposed to help me is failing me, and how i feel as if i am slowly going to lose my mind!
    ----and the days that i hate the most....when i wonder if my children would be better without me....

    ok.breathe.enough of that!
    it's not allowed!
    i am loved
    i am needed!
    i am stronger than that!

    ...........to those i may have offended...i'm sorry.
  • I know it's hard and I had a teary day yesterday feeling unnoticed especially with a divided family and no children of my own. We just have to find the strength and sometimes a call to a relative may help distract and put a stop to the gnawing aloneness. I was very weak yesterday and called a distant Aunt and had a little chat. I know everyone has a different story and we can be broken by our own country even. I even wanted to leave my country due to some of the stuff I've endured by the Medical system and I even work in the system but I throw up my hands sometimes in despair because somethings can't be changed but I hope you find Spine health to be of a comfort to look forward to coming to everyday. I'm glad you're here. Charry :)
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Dawn, :H you seem to be busy arguing when i offered my friendship, no strings attached. isn't that what you are looking for? :? i do not go into chat because i do get ignored and noone answers my questions.. there is no way it cannot be said that there are cliches in there. i understand what you are saying.. but i do not want to argue with anyone about chat!!!! that is not my point. if you need i friend, i will be there. :D Jenny :)
  • I often wondered why people here seem to latch onto one person, and even though that person may be asking the same questions as another, they have a way that draws others to them, just such as life I suppose. I know it causes a bit of a feeling like jealousy image:)" alt=">:)" height="20" /> , sometimes it feels like I'm back in Highschool!

    Although I would love to, I don't chat, my eyes don't allow me to be on the computer very long right now (waiting for new glasses)

    On a more "even" note, it's impossible, if not irresponsible to respond to every post. We are trying to find answers, while giving of our own experience, so personally, I rarely, if ever, respond to posts only to say "I'm sorry for your pain" if I have nothing else to offer. But, at the same time, I also get frustrated when others don't respond to MY posts, so it is what it is. I am trying to remind myself, that there are going to be issues that nobody can respond to with insight, and that's ok. I would hate for people to write just to say "I hate that you are feeling so bad" because, in truth, don't we all KNOW that's the case? Every single one of us can commiserate with each other in one way or another, and even though we can try, we can't be there for everyone. 8}

    I'm daily trying to convince myself that it's ok to go unanswered, doesn't mean that everyone hates me, just that the "right" people didn't see the question/post. =((

  • hopeless-in-mn said:
    (oh how i wish i could figure out how to post my mri pics to show you all!)
    Do you have an export feature on the CD with your MRI pics on it? If you can figure out how to save the picture as a jpeg, you can upload it to www.photobucket.com and then place a link here to put it on this site. If you would like me to help walk you through, please let me know. but if there is not an export feature, I don't know how to get the pics from the disk. Maybe calling the facility who did the mri would be helpful.


    Surviving chronic pain one day at a time, praying for a reprieve because living another 40 years like this doesn't sound too fun!
  • This subject has me curious, so I just did a little bit of research.

    I would like to think that I am an accepted and well-resepcted member here on spine-health. There have been times when I have created topics and not had good support, but I think that is part of a message board. If no one is able to help, they don't know what to say. So most of you know that I have been here for almost 3 years now, and it is because of this experience that I don't let it bother me, but I wanted to bring these statistics to the front.

    I just pulled up a list of all the topics I started. Since the conversion to this software version, I have 2 with 0 responses, 4 with 1 response only, and most of them are under 5 responses.

    I would be curious to hear what others get in the way of responses on their topics. I think it will be fairly uniform throughout. I just glanced at the "recent posts" category and see that today there are several unanswered threads. Maybe this should serve as a reminder to all of us that we need to give support here as well as take.

    My challenge to everyone: Set a goal to answer a certain number of posts every day. Maybe that help all to be included.

    Happy Easter everyone!
    Surviving chronic pain one day at a time, praying for a reprieve because living another 40 years like this doesn't sound too fun!
  • that there is so much controvery on here over chat and unanswered posts and feeling left out. I came to this site cuz it was so warm and welcoming and I try my best to respond to as many posts as I can especially if I see they haven't been responded to. Unfortunately I miss a lot cuz I'm not on here 24/7.

    I too have at least one post I know of that went unanswered and a few with 5 or less responses. I never took offense to this. I just saw it as people had others things going on in their life at the time I posted and then it got lost among the other newer posts. I notice I get less responses late at night cuz people are obviously sleeping and by morning my post may be bumped to other pages. A lot of times I type out my posts just to get my own frustrations out and not so much to see how many will respond. If I am looking for a particular answer then I will PM someone I've known longer.

    I've gone to chat a couple of times and never experienced any feelings of neglect or not being welcomed. I don't stay long in chat or go there frequently because I really have a hard time following it as I've said before.

    I thought Spine-Health was a place to find answers to our pain questions, a place to go for comfort and understanding from people who suffer as we do.

    I have seen members lash out at others and it made me sad to see a person who comes here for support and is already feeling down being treated as if they were junkies or just being plain mean.

    I do feel closer to some members than others cuz I've known them longer but it doesn't keep me from responding and helping new members and members I don't talk to as often.

    I am very hurt that Zach left because of the way he was treated. He was one of those that were there for everyone when he was well enough to be there. When he turned to us for comfort and support, apparently he was treated rotten. I did not see this cuz I don't go to chat much and cuz I was dealing with some family issues as well as a flare up of my own.

    I think we need to all be there for each other, support and empathize with what they are going through. If you looking for a cliche you may be better off going to myspace or facebook or something of that nature. For me, I choose to stay here and help as many members that I can and to get support and answers to the daily pain and struggles I am faced with.

    Can't we all just get along and play nice in the sandbox? >:D< :X :D
  • looking for ii clique...prefer the one to one kind of talk now. more than that and my head starts to spin! chat is chat, and i do like the kind of imediate response of it, but do not have the ability to stay at it for very long b4 i hurt either.

    maybe this whole thing is in my head....maybe its an extension of the denial (again!) by ssdi because the judge did not believe the doctors or me when they state that i am in too much pain to work.

    i did not know what happened to zach, and searched for word in the posts that he was ok, or for some kind of update. i'm sorry to hear that someone lost faith in his truthfulness, as i feel he would never lose faith in ours.

    i need to do something that goes against all that i was brought up to do....stand up and say to you all....

    .....I AM AFRAID, AND I NEED HELP!....
    thank you,
  • I am applauding your reply and send a big hug your way. >:D<

    =D> =D> =D>

    Dawn, Lulu, Charry and Kat... thank you for being strong and staying on Spine-Health. Please know each of you are valued and your posts have helped me a great deal. Although we suffer different areas of back pain (I am all thoracic), our pain and suffering is the same.

    I look forward to interacting real soon and wish everyone a nice Easter. O:)

  • hanging in the there mama? I seen ya here and there , wish for right now i could be more online but finals n all n internship from hell I'll tell ya, dont fret the chat, i type 35wpm on my best days and it takes a LOT of effort, but dont get discouraged K?
    you have a voice, you have meaning and a place here and anywhere you go, yoiu are of a value above diamonds and all the gold in the world, dont let the frustrating maddening crowds of life discourage ya!
    there are always more disparagers than supporters, there just happens to be a culture of caring that has a higer profile and number of people here, everyone, no matter who has a place here...period.
    we buiold this place bit by bit every day, and everyone builds here.
    you will find there are some down times and many more up times,but in all there is family here,
    I practice the politics of inclusion, most people do here, it'll get better K!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • Michelle, you said that perfectly. I agree with the other member who applauded you!

    I love spine-health and feel a little protective sometimes. Every member here is just as important as the other. I hope we can all glean the information and support we crave from the website as a whole, because even though a specific comment isn't directed at us personally, the information in it can be just as relevant.

    May all of us have a good holiday weekend, and I sure hope my pain decides to let up as I have lots of cooking to do!

    Surviving chronic pain one day at a time, praying for a reprieve because living another 40 years like this doesn't sound too fun!
  • I don't know anything about what goes on in chat. I logged on once and felt overwhelmed by the speed of peoples chatting and I left.

    I am slow typing and thinking, I admit it. I find the written word leaves so much to the imagination I don't trust myself to understand what someone else is typing so I don't go there. I wondered what happened to Zach, no mention on the forum itself that I have seen ever let me know why he dissappeared. I'm sad to see that he is gone, but glad to see he is OK.

    I have posted a couple of posts that have went unanswered when I could have really used a kind comment. I thought that is what this forum is for and I always try and write something when I see an unanswered post. I have deleted one or two that went 8 hours with no comments even though the ones above it and below it had many. I try not to judge anybody for not commenting on my posts. I probably am a bit needy...

    Feel free to PM me, I may not respond right away. I have found at times this forum does not help me. Looking through to many posts from people hurting worse than I do can be a bad thing. I am also quite bit depressed right now so I don't always make a whole lot of sense! :D
  • This is off topic, but I'm sorry you were messed over by that SSI judge. Is there any chance this can be appealed? This is totally rotten and it sucks that the system is clogged up with people that don't need it and are more than happy to ride the gravy train.

    Anyway, I understand how frustrating it feels when your posts go unanswered. I spend most times responding than posting new topics. Sometimes I have a hard time thinking up a topic that everyone would be interested in or nothing out of the ordinary is going on in my life (I'm couped up and have no life).

    I've seen too that some get more responses than others. Sometimes it's because you don't know what to say, you're not familiar with their problem, some have alterior motives, you feel like reading more than typing, or you're having writer's block. But I hope that from now on you can count on all of us to make a conscious effort to contribute as much as we can.
  • I just wanted to say hello, and let you know how much I enjoy chatting with you!! I have a tough time responding to posts, because I often don't think I know enough about a subject to respond.

    I look forward to chatting with you soon!!


    glo :)
  • for responding to me...

    now i urge you to take up cindy's challange and for every one new person we welcome, find a thread that no one had responded to, and even if you have nothing to offer, bump it back to the front of the line, and give it a second chance to be seen...go forth my spiney friends...pm me all you like! (im lovin the mail :X )check out my spine pic :jawdrop: --leave opinions if you can--its another post...and spread the warmth you've just shown me to others that are feeling alone. >:D<
  • Just wanted to say Hi to you and hope that in future I will try to make sure I send you lots of Hugs N' Loves and an intelligent conversation that will make us all feel as if we are still the vibrant people before "Pain". Sometimes I read all the posts and don't feel as if my contribution will be helpful. Just wondered about your cat picture. Is it your pet? I've got 3 "hairy-humans", they are my best friends when I'm feeling tragic.
    Hugs N' Love
  • hope all is well as can be tday! hope the weather isnt all stormy for ya either! hang in there mama your gonna shine!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

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