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Anyone ever had a doctor tell you...

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,671
"I wish I hadn't......"? When you bring something to your doctor, you want him to help, not tell you he wished he hadn't tried to help... Especially when it's a major surgery... I don't know why surgeons are so self centered and uncaring... I wish he'd never either.


  • Ugh, no, that's horrible! Sorry you're having such problems. What did he wish he didn't do????
  • He said he wished he'd never performed a fusion on me. I am just fed up with him. I knew I was in trouble when he barely looked at me when "checking up" (laughable) on me at the hospital post-op. I've been trying to explain my problems since surgery (about 3 months ago), but he just doesn't hear what I'm saying. (I even tried writing it all down, but he brought the paper into the room, complaining it was too much to read, and told me to tell him..... AGAIN) Again, he interrupted me telling me how he "told me it was going to be a rough recovery" over and over, I got frustrated, and never DID finish with the most of the explanation... I suppose he thinks he did surgery, he's done with me now. I had to beg for him to do a ct on me to ensure nothing's wrong. I just hope there really isn't anything going on... but at the same time I almost wish I could be validated with my complaints and shove it in his face... where do these doctors get off with no compassion? The think they are gods and can do no wrong.... I have yet to find anyone else with similar problems as mine, so to me, it just doesn't seem normal. Ranting again, sorry.
  • it was not because he had no compassion. My surgeon felt so bad that all his efforts weren't good enough to fix all my problems and he put me through another surgery and a long recovery. I keep telling him that I gained with his efforts, and would have chosen to do it again. I know I am one of the fortunate who has a wonderful NS with a very down to earth personality.
    I am sorry you didn't have the same but keep on trying to be heard. It is your back and you are the one who has to live with the results.
  • I'm not sure what the problems are that you are having post op? Can you explain the symptoms and maybe someone here can tell you if they experienced the same or similar and tell you what their doctors did or didn't do. It's hard to figure out how to help someone when they aren't clear in what it is that they need assistance with.
    I know from experience that fusion surgery is tough and it is a long haul, one which a patient must be physically and mentally prepared to get through. The recovery period ( especially the first 6 months ) can be protracted and difficult to endure.
  • I've been here before, and nobody has had my symptoms. I've said all I've had to say, my kids were right in asking for my account to be deleted. Nobody here or anywhere else believes me, and I have to say I'm beginning to not believe myself.
  • refresh our memories...the meds mess things up sometimes, as you are probably well aware of.
    and also, every day new people arrive, and browse the site, so someone who was not here yesterdday, may be here tomorrow!
    i too am frustrated by a doctor who has run out of a hospital room room refusing to speak to me!
    to find that to get answers from him, he needs to get paid again by the insurance company!...wrong answer!
    now i'm looking else where, and to other doctors...i still get frustrated, but i try to think of it as a game that must be played...you must do the tests, the exercises, pt, ect...earn the trust...then, who knows?
    medical trust is like trusting a stranger...it has to be earned by both parties...it takes time...
    ...time that we already feel that we have wasted so much of!

    you are not alone!
  • my ortho is as about as rude as can be!!I had spinal fusion rods screws and a cage,took 7 1/2 hrs to do lost 6 pints of blood and when I saw him the next day and i thought I wa dying all he could say was i told you it was going to hurt!!! duhhh I knew that!!!And he wsa off. this was just done 7/20/09. i have to see him again on78/27 and im shaking in my boots cause I am still in major pain,and hes already lowered my pain meds. Im sorry for you very much,our DRs should not make us feel worse,,not kiss our hineys but at least act like they care at least as long as they are looking you in the face!!!!
  • I'm not sure about the believing you part. Someone on here must have had similar type of problems. Maybe just haven't seen your posts.

    If you feel this negative about your surgeon and think he did something wrong or something went wrong. Then go see another surgeon. Ask that surgeon to pull his surgical notes. Read them. Then compare your pre-surgery and post-surgery MRI and/or CAT Scans. You have every right to question it if you are having problems and don't feel the surgeon is responding.

  • I totaly agree with Z. Get a second opinion if you are unsure about dealing more with this doc.
    I went through hell for years complaining of the wierdest symptoms, Im sure I was labeled a nut, my doc didnt really believe me,at first.But he ended up changing his mind.
    But went through a lot of crap. Still are. We HAVE to be our own advicate, we HAVE to be.

    I have been known to argue with a couple docs that have been very rude and full of themselves, and told them so. I obviously went to a different doc after. teeeheee But ya gottta stand up for yourself, no one else will. Good luck,and we are here for you,for each other

    God Bless,
  • I had the same problem (though thankfully not for my spine disorder) for months and months. No one was listening to me. I had unexplained bruising, fatigue, dizziness, discolored bowels, fainting, black-out vision, depression, appetite lose, extreme weight lose, etc etc. I kept asking my doctors, "Please check my red blood cell count. Please check if I'm anemic." My doctors all refused to check my iron levels or blood cell count because it had been checked a month before and it was "fine" therefore I couldn't have gotten so sick in such a short amount of time. Many more blood tests, an EKG, a Halter Monitor, more blood drawing, stool samples, diaries of what I was eating, explaining my bruises, etc, etc, etc, and on and on. Finally, I called and said, "This is urgent. I feel like I'm dying. Please test for this, this, this." After 4 months, they finally listened to me...and low and behold, I was anemic and it was greatly exacerbated because of the stress, depression, and anxiety problems I had be dealing with at the same time. I'm 5'3 and I currently weigh 113.5...at 20 years old with a fully developed body and BMI calculation, I shouldn't be that small. I feel bony and drawn and emaciated. I took to this point for my doctors to finally listen.

    When I went in to the last appointment (where they finally listened and tested my iron levels and found I was anemic) I brought a 2 page list and description of my symptoms. I cataloged dates, times, symptoms, how I felt after, if my heart my racing, what I ate at that time, if I had caffeine, my medications. Pretty much every little aspect that had to do with anything health related I wrote down. Even if it seems unrelated, write down date, time, heart rate (as soon as you can take it, but signify the time difference), eating habits, caffeine, sugar, allergies, current medications, diagnosis' that you have at the time, environment, heat/cold, goosebumps, discoloration of skin...Anything that you notice that is going on at the same time however small or inconsequential, take notice of it. It might mean nothing to you, but it could be defining for a doctor or nurse practitioner.
    You have to know your body and health better than anyone else. Maybe I am just distrustful of the medical community because of my bad experience, but I have taken complete charge over my health and asking questions and doing tireless research to make sure that I am informed and asking the right questions.

    If a doctor says he "doesn't know" the answer to a question about a procedure or your condition, then 99.9% chance that you have an uninformed or unmotivated surgeon. It doesn't mean that they're a bad doctor, but perhaps they don't have the same thrive for their work that others do and therefore don't want to put in the extra time and consideration. Change surgeons immediately if this is the case, especially with something as huge and scary and foreign as your spine.
    There's obviously a point where the patient doesn't know as much as the doctor. But follow your gut because it's your best adviser with anything that has to do with you. If you feel that your doctor is legitimately not answering questions or concerns to the full potential, say something and ask him to elaborate. If he doesn't, leave immediately and slap him on the way out (not really...)! If your gut is telling you that maybe you're just being a little paranoid, but you still want to be reassured, ask the doctor to elaborate again, call their office, show up during office hours, leave messages, talk to a different doctor there, get a second opinion, talk to their M.A. (who are often incredibly nice and very knowledgable), talk to their medical secretary, etc. If you don't get the answers that you feel you deserve then there's something not right, it's not just you being over-worried.
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