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backpainishellbbackpainishell Posts: 969
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:31 AM in Depression and Coping
Pleople who have suffered chronic pain for a long time :S , and get down :( , low :( , depressed :( , we have all been there :O , But who can honestly say they have had the passing thought of suicide? :? It would be interesting to here your thoughts about this :?

Angie :?


  • I believe the brain is extremely powerful.If we are in a low place and allow ourselves to consider something like taking our own life,it's time to get some help. Yes, I have considered suicide,not due to my pain and spine issues,but other problems that were once in my life.Although I didn't get professional help at the time,I did learn how to take control of my thoughts.Something I continue to do now.When I am having a bad day,painwise,it is the mind over matter routine that will sometimes benefit me more than the pain meds.I also have learned what the Bible says about why things are like they are,why people get sick,why people die,why God allows all the suffering,and what he promises to do about it.I would not make it through the day without that knowledge. Sagehen
  • Discussions on suicide that start out as simple as this one, can and have turned into suicide pacts behind the scenes. Not that I'm aware of any on Spine Health but it has happened on other Internet groups.

  • Suicide is a taboo in most societies; most people don't like to talk about it. However, being in agonizing can make one feel hopeless and powerless. In my darkest moments I wished it was all over, but it was a fleeting thought. Luckily I had the love and the support of my husband and the option for medical treatments.
  • nothing like that here, like you say its just a simple thread like any other subject, and nothing like that is or has happened on spine health

  • Hiya >:D< thankyou for your interesting reply :? Myself, i do not have the knowledge of the bible, as i have never read it! :B Would you share what knowledge you did learn with us? :/ The knowledge and training and experience that i do have is abut mental health :D You are also right people can control there thoughts and fleeting feelings, :? along with support from family, :D friends, and the support the the menal health service offers :) . I admire you from pulling yourself up from a dark place. >:D<

    Angie :D >:D< xx
  • Hiya >:D< Thankyou for your reply >:D< Again this is very interesting :? You are right it is a tabbo subject :O , but if people did learn to talk more /:) , perhaps there would be less suicide :? I am glad you had the help and support a the time >:D< , that helped you through that dark time O:) . Well done for coming through >:D< .

    Angie xx :H
  • But it is real! I have already written about myself in the other post, but I do believe that there a lot of people out there that are afraid to "talk" because they don't want to be looked at like a freak or something. I think that this is very real, and it is happening daily to people that do reach out, and sometimes don't get the help they need.\
    I will eventually be a advocate for the mentally ill if hopefully my surgery goes well, and I can go back to work.
  • Thakyou for your input >:D< I have to agree about this being a taboo subject :? I can see that by the replys this post has received :O But my point is if people learned to be more open and talked more about this subject :? , perhaps they would be more open about the way they feel and less of this would be happening :/ I do hope things work out or you :)

    Angie :H
  • That is, awareness of the resources available to you, if you do reach that point, if even just knowing that your family and/or friends are there for you. It only takes one person to pull you out of the depths of despair!!

    Being in the military, this is a real and far too common tragedy. Two of my close friends, and a few other work aquaintenances have comitted suicide. It leaves us all in a state of confusion and regret and sadness.

    Even having taken suicide prevention and intervention training, I missed any signs of my one friend, she hid her problems so well. Had she only known, or trusted that she had a huge support network available...

    I, myself, have been at that dark hour, but fought my way out of it. I urge and plead with anyone who has thoughts, no matter how fleeting, to seek help, if even calling your best friend, talking to a spouse or partner, a hotline, or even talking to someone you barely know, to get past those thoughts, then seek more professional help immediately!!

    We are not alone, no matter how lonely or lost we might feel at any given moment in time...
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
  • The problem I've seen is that too many people tend to glamorize suicide. When that happens, it feeds into the minds of those who normally wouldn't consider it.

    Yes the military is hard core on suicide prevention and intervention training, but my experience has been that it makes people even more secretive and elusive in the signs they might have sent out. When you hear it over and over and over in briefings and training and Armed Forces Network radio and television, it makes a person a smarter sneak.

    When you are dealing with individuals who are suffering chronic pain and taking all kinds of mind altering chemicals, it's real easy to inadvertently create the "power of suggestion". This is the main reason I personally feel it is a subject that should be discussed by experts and not by the common individual or others who are suffering chronic pain and on various medications.

  • I do agree with you, in that discussing it might give people the knowledge of how to cover up the signs - how many military personnel have learned how to hide their signs and symptoms of PTSD from their superiors, until their breaking point, because of all the briefings and relentless questionnaires? I did... But also knowing what avenues and what resources were out there, and the fact that suffering from that condition was not as shameful and taboo as what was pounded into our heads at one point, was how I came about to getting help and starting my road to recovery.

    If discussing topics such as this here, helps that person, who feels that they can't talk to people that they know, and would rather reach out via forums like this anonymously, it would be a shame to "sweep the subject under a rug" so to speak, and make them feel like they can't talk about it and have no place to turn and reach out...

    I also do agree that this is an extremely sensitive subject, and should not be glamourized in any way, but to raise awareness that there are resources, people to talk to, and there is help out there, is more responsible than not talking about it, in my opinion.
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
  • The key being that the resources and information being given be accurate, healthy and helpful. Otherwise it's a slippery slope. I just question the ability of us who suffer from chronic pain and debilitating injuries as well as multiple medication cocktails, to discuss this subject in the manner it needs to be presented.

    If one person is helped due to the discussion, that's fantastic. However, if one person is enabled or driven deeper under, then it would be tragic.

  • dilemma... a catch-22. Do we talk about it to help the ones who may need it? Or do we keep quiet and not talk about in fear that someone might convince themselves to go through with it. I don't know, my feeling is that there still needs to be an awareness, and to let people know that they do have places to turn to.

    So, I guess C, we agree to disagree, in the friendliest of manners!!!

    Again, I urge anyone, who has these thoughts, please please please seek the help that you need!!! The professionals are not judgemental, and are there to help you.

    There actually is a thread somewhere here on this site that I had come across, it was created by one of the mods, and has links and numbers to all sorts of agencies that will help. I will try to find it again, and post it here.

    Be well, everyone!!
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
  • Kelly
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
  • Hi Angie,and everyone else too,
    I'm certainly not a health professional of any kind,but I have done extensive research and reading on depression and other "anxieties of life".From my own experiences I know that often times saying something out loud or seeing it in writing can be helpful.(Perhaps that's why journaling and talk therapy is recommended by both mental and physical Drs) I had a family member in a very dark and lonely hole.Even though he was around people that were giving him love and attention,he could not climb out of the hole.His coping skill of choice was rage,and after a very bad scene one night,I went to his room and he was sobbing.It broke my heart to see him that way.
    I asked him if he wanted to die,and the look on his face was pure surprise.I told him I could recognize the feeling.This was enough to get him to start talking.He said it out loud,and then we discussed what affect that would have on the rest of us.We made realistic plans for his immediate future.And we talked about the things that had brought him to the low spot he was in.One topic lead to another,and before too long he had settled down and we even laughed a little.There's no doubt in my mind that hearing himself say the words,"I want to kill myself" had a huge impact on him.I have not worried about him since.(it's been 21 years)He has worked very hard to develop other healthy coping skills.
    Talking about our problems, is for some reason,helpful to us.That's why we're all on this website.We want some help,encouragement and to not be alone in our pain,whether mental or physical.
    Hope you all have a super Sunday (gonna be 94 where I am)
  • Kelly >:D< >:D< that was put so well and i could not agree with you more :? :)

    Angie :H
  • you just want this thread stopped because its me that started it! From the first day i came on here you came at me about spelling and since then you are very sarcastic when i do start a thread, its an individuals choice if they wish to discuss it or not! I do think people should discuss issues like this, just like any other, after all we are in the year 2009 and not the 1900s!

  • I am very familiar with mental health issues O:) and people are to ashamed to talk about it because of the stigma that is attached to it :? ! But if people did talk more about subjects like this they would know what was out there to help them :? ! Thankyou you for your posts they are very interesting 8> !

    Angie :)
  • This subject is not that depressing, and what you are saying is people who are on the liquid cosh cocktails like us are not fit to talk about it! Well if thats the case then, we are not fit to give our personal advice on any subject as the advice we give may be wrong!

  • Just want to add :? , us medical professionals are very good :) , compasionate and understanding :) , and never judgemental :? . I am Qualified in this field, so i have hands on experience :B . Again your post was lovely >:D< .

    Angie x
  • I really think it is good to talk about suside. Some people have no where to turn or no one to talk to. I am clinical depressed have been for many years, i gess it runs in the family, my mom and my 2 sisters has it also. i have been in those dark places many times, and it is not fun. The pain does not help at all, but i try my best to over come the daily frustratons in life. keep you head up angie, dont let the pain control you! You are a strong person! Dont give up!
  • That is a lovely story >:D< , and just goes to show talking does help ;) , though some may not want to post as the sigma attached to this subject ~X( and fear of some people being judgemental L) , can always PM me and or :) , for those who dont take a look at the link "Smiley" :) posted as it will be of much help >:D< ! Sagehen here in england its cold, wish i was some where hot :( , where about do you come from then? My daughter is only 20 years of age and suffers "Rapid cycling Bi-polar" :S where here moods go high and low :? , and just last week she wanted to kill herself and i had to stop her :? ! We go through these phases regulary because its part of the illness :S , and i just keep her close and let her know shes not alone and i am by her side all the way through this >:D< , But i got her the correct help straight away :D . She will have to take medication for the rest of her life :S , and once the right balance of the drug is found :) , she will go on and live a normal life :) , but will have to deal with these phases also :S ! No one is alone if they get the right help O:) ! Thankyou for your post >:D< !

    Angie >:D< :H
  • Just because we are silent does not mean we are not thinking.Reading or saying the words here does not put the idea in our heads.People are not that...dense.
    Saying it won't make it happen.We can talk about it,or pass it by-just like any other subject on here,or channel on a television.

    I've known several people who have committed suicide,and it only reinforced my belief in the whole "open up and talk to someone" concept.Keeping quiet can't help anything.

    I do understand what 'C' means,because knowledge can make a person a "smarter sneak".If someone is reading this thread to learn how to be better at that..well,there are surely better places to get that info.Hopefully a person who might be thinking along those lines might be seeing the other side of the coin,and seek professional help.I haven't read anything here that would help me if I were considering suicide,and certainly there is nothing glamourous in my reading here.

    In the US you can call the hotlines even if you have a question about suicide!

    Call for Comfort - Call To Survive

    National Suicide Hotlines USA
    United States of America
    Toll-Free / 24 hours a day / 7 days a week
    1-800-SUICIDE 1-800-273-TALK
    1-800-784-2433 1-800-273-8255

    1-800-799-4TTY (4889)
    Deaf Hotline

  • Hiya stranger :) >:D< How are you? :D Thankyou for your input on this subject :? very interesting :? I have had to deal with patients who have committed suicide :( , and in my experience is would help to talk O:) This thread does not teach anyone to be a smarter sneak :? Your reply was very interesting! :? PM me anytime :) , lets have a chat >:D< !

    Angie :H
  • Hello Angieeeeeeeee........... :H Long time no see :D

    I didn't know that you were a mental health professional...that's cool.. ;))

    Mental Health Awareness is an important subject,one that cannot be brought to our attention enough.Good for you for being active on the subject!
  • Hiya Robinnnnnnnnnnn :H thankyou for your kind post >:D<
    I dont like to tell people because i would rather them talk to me as angie :) if you know what i mean, so i just say i have worked in mental health and have had experience :? beacause people tend to approaach you and treat you differently :)

    Angieeeeeeeeeeee :H
  • Hiya >:D< Anytime you need to talk we are here for you >:D< so never think that you are alone because your not >:D< , as we understand your pain and how low that can make you :) most of us have been there one time or another :D And what we do here we help each other through those times :) My pain hasnt been under control for a while :''( , i am waiting to see this new surgeon in july :) This does make me low at times as i get so fed up :? but i am learning to control that as i do not want to be low in front of my daughter :)

    Angie :H
  • Big apologies if I repeat a post from earlier.
    I am not having a good day and going to make this quick.

    I feel suicidal with my pain at times. I am fed up...
    BUT, with adequate pain control I would feel better and less desparate....so I argue that when pain is 11 out of 10, pain killers are doing nothing and I become desperate for some respite I become suicidal.
    At the minute I have presence of mind not to self harm but find this whole subject scary as I think the doctors will assume I am neurotic and treat that NOT my PAIN.

    Pain free days and keep focusing on the good things you have.

  • backpainishell said:
    This subject is not that depressing, and what you are saying is people who are on the liquid cosh cocktails like us are not fit to talk about it! Well if thats the case then, we are not fit to give our personal advice on any subject as the advice we give may be wrong!

    First off the name is either "C" or haglandc.

    Comparing members discussing suicide to members giving personal advice on any subject is like apples and oranges. Suicide is a permanent fix or permanent maim, whereas discussing ones experience with a certain drug or procedure or type of car they prefer isn't.

    You may be a healthcare professional trained in certain disciplines, but what about the others who choose to reply to or read this thread? What about the cyber idiots who claim to be what they aren't, who may misrepresent themselves to get people to listen to them! Are you willing to take that chance?

    The power of suggestion comes in all forms. It doesn't need to be cut and dry, word for word for someone to find a message in it. Do you and all the others really know what is in the mind of every person? Do you and all the others really know what will be the trigger that sends someone down the road of no return?

    Discussing suicide is important, but its important that its done in a manner that won't exacerbate the situation.

    As a healthcare professional, when you consider that someone is on a cocktail of morphine, valium, cymbalta and more, do you really feel confident they can make a life and death decision. Read through the lists of medications that the vast majority of Spine Health members are taking, it's pretty incredible. I'm not saying that when someone posts that it isn't heartfelt and exactly their experience. It may be more so since their inhibitions are lowered.

    If you were on trial by a jury of your peers, would you feel confident that you would get a just verdict if they were on even a fraction of the medications most here are?

    Would you want me sharing with one of your family members about suicide?

    It's great to be all noble and try to do what is right and just and seemingly life saving. What frightens me is when it is misguided, especially when someone's life may hang in the balance. No amount of smileys and disclaimers about "I'm not a healthcare professional" will be enough, if someone takes their own life. No amount of apologies, or claims of "it was only to get information out there" will make those left behind feel any better.

    Talking about suicide is not taboo and should not be avoided, however, it should be done in a forum that is properly trained and equipped to do so.

  • I am to scared of death,to even think of suicide,plus i believe in God.....
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