it makes me sad when i read all of the posts of people who suffer from chronic pain. years and years of pain which affect our relationships and our jobs and our pleasure of life. i don't know if it has been so long with pain but my pain is like a friend now, not a good friend, but one who is there and lets me know he is with me. he is a friend because i guess i got used to it. it is there, but it is in the back of my mind. i don't let my friend rule my life. if he wants to shadow me and follow me that is fine but he walks about a block behind me now and not 2 feet behind me like 10 years ago. sometimes i think this is the way to deal with chronic pain, accept it, live with it, and don't let it rule your life. are there others out there that look on pain as i do, an inconvience but not something that takes over my life. i don't know if 10 years of chronic pain is why i am used to it. i don't remember what life was like without pain. it is weird but it kind of grows on me. i know it's there, i take my meds and see my pain dr every other month. i know walking is a problem now but i am used to this now also. i am trying a couple of things to help me walk, injection, and possible hardware removal, but if these don't work no big deal.
I have 4 fusions from L5-3, the latest last May '12 where they fixed my disc that broke.They went through my side this time. I take 40 mg of oxycontin 4x a day and 4 fenatyl lollipops 300 micro gms 4x a day.