I recently received a report from my doctor following form filling exercise where I had to say what I can and can't do.
Anyway, reading it back to myself, checking my grammar and spellings it made me go cold.
It sounded awful. It is all true, not exaggerated in any way at all. Then it made me think mentally I had not properly connected to what has happened to me. Then I wondered if this was a good thing.
I can't really sit for longer than 20 minutes, I hang my bum on the end of high tables and window sills. I walk slowly with a cane. This is because my foot is numb, my brain doesn't know where the foot is so I stumble. I also am unsteady, walk like I am drunk. I am in constant pain, although this wains and waxes (I think that's what you say) over a 24 hour period. I am lucky to get 2 hour total cover in 24 hours of pain control. I take medication every 2 hours.
Basic household chores are limited or not done. It takes me a lot of effort to get dressed. I do not like having to change until bedtime, trying clothes on or gowns in hospital, that kind of thing. I drive for 30 minutes max or the pain kicks in big style and I suffer 2x as bad a few hours or days later.
If I have bowel movement or even wind, my sciatic nerve flares off.
I am becoming fearful (but not neurotic) about my pain. I have adapted my diet, I avoid tomatoes, peppers, potatoes, that kind of thing.
I have tried really hard to be positive and take each day as it comes but I am very physically limited. I know some of the restrictions are self imposed but every so often I do push the boundaries to see how things go but just get very, very sore and wish I could take an escalator to heaven as it takes days (up to 10) to settle the pain to a half manageable level.
I Consider attending the ER at times too, just looking for respite from the pain but then I talk myself out of it because they will just consider me neurotic or druggie or worse.
How does that seem to you?
My gauge is all wrong. I don't know what to do.
Should I be making a lot more noise complaining or am I just the same as everyone else here on the boards?
Sorry for the long post. I am bit fed up.