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Re: No discussions or questions from close friends

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,623
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:31 AM in Chronic Pain
I have Adhesive Arachnoidits of the lumbosacral spine, had a 4 level fusion, 4 level laminectomy, synovial cyst removal and multiple never impingents from 9 herniated discs, spondylosis, severe stenosis, Facet Disease. During surgery I had rods, pedicles, and screws placed at the Lumbar Level. Osteophytes were discovered throught thew spine. My arachnoiditis was discoved in a contast/no contrast MRI 3 months post surgery. I also has a total wrist fusion with hardware placemnent and then sunsequently developed RSD aka CRPS in the left hand and arm. In all of 2008, I was in severe intractable chronic pain with a neurostimulator placement in June. I spent most of that year reclining on a couch taking strong meds and "out of it" most of the time. I recently had a CT Scan of the cervical spine showing similar problems found in my lumbar spine before my lumbar surgery. I walk with a cane limited to 5o yards walking, 30-45 minutes sitting, the same standing. I have to continue changing positions to reduce my pain since it builds again in each new positiion change after an initial reduction. Now I am suffering from severe numbness of my shoulders, arms and hands every night in bed. Likely due to all the nerve impingements and herniated discs remaining in my neck. What I do not get is how my close friends pretend like nothing is wrong. I get no questions, comments or verbal support. Its like nothing ever happened or is wrong with me. Is this normal? I do not even talk about it but they know what I have been through and continbue to experience. I just need some understabding of the "3 monkeys" behavior. Can anyone identify with this odd behavior that seems to be so common for me?


  • This is all too common, the longer our pain lingers the less people know what to say.

    I suspect they feel like they are badgering us or reminding us of the pain by asking how we are?

    I don't know for sure, but after 3 years of this I no longer ask. I have one son who will ask how I am and try to prod me into doing things. My other son and wife just seem to wander past. They acknowledge my presence, but ask no questions.
  • Welcome.
    We are in CP-we are long time CP patients,they are not,nor should they be expected to be.

    I do realise that I sound harsh,and I promise you that I don't mean it personally.I read this question every single day,and I never answer it because my answer would sound cold,cruel,and unfeeling to any reader......but if you knew me you would know that I am anything but uncaring.

    For over 25 years I have been in CP,and there are times when I get frustrated-because contrary to what anyone might tell you-nobody ever gets completely accustomed to the CP lifestyle,and even those who think that they do are surprised with the harsh reality of lonliness when we need an understanding ear,and there is nobody there asking the questions we wish/need to talk about.

    I don't know about you.....but I certainly don't want to be the one to always bring up the topic of my pain....I never want to bring it up around the people I love.So,naturally I get a bit pissed after a few years and surgeries go by,and nobody has asked me a single question.It changes a person.Makes you realise just what and who is important.Just how small you are.

    Try going for a month without initiating a conversation involving your pain.Of course you have to talk with your Drs and such,and you need the support of fellow pain sufferers,like us people here,but I mean in RL(real life).See how things change.

    OK,sorry-I ran off on the mouth again.My whole point was that we can't expect people to be like us....it wouldn't be fair to them,and it's just not natural for people to understand.A person can't understand something that doesn't or hasn't affected them on a personal level.Like,you don't know a person until you live with them.

    Just my thoughts.
  • BTW~I don't really think it's that people don't know what to say..so much as it is that they don't think there is anything left to say.

    You have a problem for instance,an injury,car accident,etc...,people are'omg,are you ok,and yada yada yada........".You have surgery to correct the injury,and people may send you flowers and visit you in the hospital,ask you how your recovery is for a couple,few months,and then nothing.

    In their minds it's over.You had an injury,you had surgery,and you are healing.THE END. to them

    To us it might be the beginning of the end,but whenever we continue telling them,well,some people even see it as complaining and whining.They really just don't know,and some people never will.

    That's what this support forum is good for.For me,even just reading here is helpful
  • Thanks for your honest reply. Thats what I wanted. The thing is that I never even mention it to them. Initially, of course,I briefed them on what was dicovered but never dwelled on it or appeared to seek any sympathy. Even my briefing illicited no discussions. My disease has obviously progressed. My point is that there is a total disregard for the obvious even though I do not discuss or dwell on my issues. I know me and I would likely at least say, "I'm sorry for your condition, if there is anything I can do, please do not hesitate to ask me for my help." That would at least seem appropriate rather than saying nothing even when I have obviously gotten worse and had to give up a very lucrative 24 year career I loved. I still do not get it. Maybe I'm expecting too much. I just know I would at least acknowledge the existence of the disease and offer my support. Even when I began having to use a cane all the time, not one question. I do not expect them to understand but there is obvious discomfort eminating from them. I do not feel sorry for myself nor do I show any signs of that. I have a great attitude but at times I am obviously having a difficult day but never seek attention. It just seems unnatural to me especially when you have been close friends for so many years. We always have get togethers etc. I do not expect understanding, just some evidence, even if so slight, of support and concern. Am I expecting too much from my very close friends who are like family? Even my brothers never say anything but my sisters voice their support, have quetions and express their concerns. That would be very natural to me. The way they act is like they could really care less but we still have very nice visits just as before my ilness occurred. I will just drop it now and accept them for the god frinds they are anyway.
  • You mention your sisters care. That is/may need to be enough. You can't expect everyone to care. I don't know if I could even DEAL with that!

    Think about it, if EVERYONE said something about your/our pain... Would anything else ever be talked about around us? I have grown very tired of being in pain, talking about it.

    My lasting frustration is people who are CLOSE to me asking me over and over to do things I can not do!
    That same things too. I try and express why I can't do XXX and it does not seem to ever sink in. I now simply say, "I can't do that".

    I don't mean to be harsh in this reply. Sorry if it reads that way.
  • No offense taken. I DO NOT want everyone to care or keep up any discussions, comments or questions. That would be a big pain and just a constant reminder I dont want. I was simply questioning when close friends NEVER even asked what is wrong, offered support or had any questions about anything at any time. I do not wish to talk about my pain, limitations and various issues. It is simply not undestanding when there has been absolutley no comments, questions or offered support when I first learned about my affliction. It was like nothing ever happened. Thats what I meant. You obviously misunderstood what I meant. I am not seeking pity, just some common decency of a caring friend expressing a little concern when they first hear abouit it. 3% of people with my disease progress to a wheelchair and many commit suicide due to the intractable pain. I will not be either of those few but I do have a serious disease. Maybe I am off base. I dont know. I guess I have unrealistic expectations and just expected what I would do if the situation was reversed and this happened to my close friend. Thats all I have to say.
  • I indeed did not pick on the fact they had never asked or mentioned the problem. Did they sit and listen when others talked to you about it? I have family that has never mentioned or asked. My brother is the same, he has never said a work to me about it. I return the favor! Now that I think about it my sister has not either! So, some people just don't care I guess?

    Do you have someone in your family who is the illness records person? These peoples worlds revolve about telling everyone everything about all their known worlds medical history and current conditon. My mother does this, perhaps the others think that being kept informed is enough!

    I know I would probably not understand if this had not happened to me. I remember feeling indestructable when young...
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 10,045
    As others have pointed out, it is a sad situation.
    There are two extremes when it comes to this.

    Too Much

    Here is the situation when people constantly ask you questions after questions. Or worse, they just say,
    "Oh you look good, you must feel ok" And that scenario can go on and on.
    It gets to the point where you do not want to discuss your situation with anyone. Two years ago, I was using a cane to get around. We went to a community function and after 20 minutes, I got so tired of people asking me questions, that I excused myself and put the can back in the car. It was easier to waddle around vs answering questions.

    Too Little

    Here is when people tend to ignore you or go along as if you have no problems. A recent situation with our friends illustrates this. Our good friend had his 60th birthday. The party was up in the Caskills of New York at a Sky resort. There were about 20 people going. The plan was to stay at a Tupo (which I still dont know what it ise) and the days and nights would be spent with ski activity.
    Well, I can't ski any more, I cant use snowboards, skating is really tough... So we decided not to go.
    Not only could I not participate in the fun, there was no access to the main lodge and no place to go.
    My wife, being the super friend that she is, told them no, we were not going.. She explained that it would be difficult for me to just sit there and she would not feel comfortable going out and having fun. Well to this day almost 6 months gone by and this 'person' still is angry at us for not going to her husband's 60th.

    Some people just do not get it
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Thanks everyone. At least I found this site to interact with people I can identify with. You need to understand my life just fell apart not very long ago. If you get to my profile page, you'll be amazed at my medical history that has not been that long. I just fell apart all at once, it seemed. Epidurals, radiofrequency,),more surgeries, spinal stimulator, wrist fusion, CRPS, 9 herniated discs, stenosis, spondylosis, facet disease, synovoal cysts, DDD, osteophytes, now all the same just found in my cervical region at all levels, numbness of my feet, right hip, and now shoulders, arms and hands so I cannot sleep much at all. This is new due to osteophyte, 3 cervical herniations,severe foraminal narrowing, discogenic spondylosis, nerve impingements at all levels. All this is the last year and a few months (except the wrist) and now learn I need bilateral knee replacements. I do not tell my frends these things but I can to all of you and it just feels good to get it out since I just feel like no one really cares so I just dont say anything. Its been tough but I am making it. Thanks again.
  • Good morning Jarhead & All,
    We can take a look around and see the same reaction to, the homeless,the mentally ill,the veterans,the handicapped etc...the "familicide" occurences have drastically increased.The days of generations of families taking care of each other is long gone.We live in a world where ME,ME,ME is the attitude. The thinking of past generations was,be a good neighbor,friend,spouse,sibling and take care of each other.That's not to say there's not some good,caring people out there,but they are few and far between.Selfishness,prevails.I had a neighbor cook me a ham dinner and bring it to my house a few days after I had my recent surgery.Yet,my husband would ask ME what's for dinner.(same scene last year with my in-laws after my ALIF)My husband will stand and
    watch me struggling to do something and will not offer his help.I can ASK for help and his response will be"what you're ok".My mom's comments are concerned with blaming me for my back troubles.(the jobs I've had in my life have been really physical,)so therefore my pain is my own fault.Forget about showing any basic concern,I get myself to the Dr,handle all the financial stress and never does my husband want to know what's going on.
    I think people have lost the ablity to communicate too.I know alot of people that are embarrassed to show any kind of affection or attention to another human being.They don't know how to express simple kindness.Some think if they show any concern or love,that they have lost some imaginary competition.That's why support boards like this one exist.If we could get the help and support we need somewhere else,we wouldn't be on here.
    Well, that's my story....and I'm stickin to it!
    Just know Jarhead ,I do understand,and care.I hope you feel better(cuz you're a mess!)My ole spine decided to do a number on me all at once too.
    You have a nice day....Sagehen
  • You mentioned this:
    I know me and I would likely at least say, "I'm sorry for your condition, if there is anything I can do, please do not hesitate to ask me for my help." That would at least seem appropriate rather than saying nothing even when I have obviously gotten worse and had to give up a very lucrative 24 year career I loved.
    Of course you would though..you understand this now.They still don't.If you mean that you would have said/done/reacted the same way before..well,that may be true too,because as is mentioned ALL over these forums,we are all so different.

    This topic you brought up is one that I,personally find very interesting.I'm surprised that you haven't had more replies,because I'm certain if this affects my life(and obviously yours)that there are many others out there just as touched by this--for lack of another term I'll call it disrespect,or indifference.

    It feels like the big pink elephant in the room,but nobody sees it.And she's wearing a ..tutu

    Incidentally,talking about your disease,and your limitations associated with your disease,is not the same as asking for sympathy,pity,or even asking others to dwell on you and/or your issues.It's just getting it out there so that they will know and understand what their friend and family member(namely YOU) are going through so that they will be aware of your needs(if they want to help),limits(so they know what you can/cannot do),and simply know the new person that you have had to become and are still learning to deal with yourself!

    These things don't have to be awkward or hard.If you are already close with these people,draw them into a meeting of the minds on this to clear the air..then have a cook out.Get the serious talk over with first,and then lighten it up with food and laughter.Whenever your friends leave for the day/night..they will remember what was said earlier in the day.They will have time to reflect on your words,and you certainly deserve to say them.

    It might be that they are following your lead,as DISABLED AMERICAN aka Michael,above stated.If that's the caes.lead them in a new direction,one that you are comfortable in.

    Please keep posting and let us know how things are working out...we do care!
  • I do not seek pity, sympathy or any continuous dialoge of my illness at all. It's not that by any means. I was just suprised by the "3 monkeys" type behavior I have experienced from the people I would have at least expected to experess something even if it was some positive words of encouragement. That is not too much to expect. The suggestion I am seeking pity is somewhat offensive considering who I am as a person. Some responses are misinterpeting an interest in pity with just a simple expressions of initial support, sincere interest in what is wrong, questions about prognosis or some evidence of concern. Maybe that makes me a weak person in some people's opinion. I just think of it as what I would consider a normal response to a very suprising unexpected incurable disease to someone who was a competetive fitness weightlifer, fitness fanatic and bodybuilder. I now wish I never posted anything and just kept it to myself. Being a former Marine is irrelevant. It has nothing to do with it and is rediculous.
  • I meant quite the opposite!

    I meant that it is NOT the same as asking for pity.Geeze...all it takes is a missed word or two,and everything is taken out of content.I'm on YOUR side for cryin' out loud.

    Nobody hates pity more than me.

  • Ask them. Seriously, we can't put ourselves in your friends heads - we have no idea what they are thinking. Have a get together (use a sporting event or something as a cover), let them have a few drinks to loosen their tongues, and ask them why they don't ask. If they are true friends they will tell you why. Maybe they think if they bring it up you will dwell on it more. Maybe they think you wanted to be treated as if you don't have problems (hasn't that how we have all been taught to "behave" around "handicapped" persons?) Maybe they feel bad because they can live a normal life and you can't.
    In my case, I found that whom I thought were my "true" friends aren't, only one person regularly checks up on me and asks "how I am doing" and means it. One relative recent told me she doesn't ask or want to be around me because she really cares and it hurts her to see me hurting.
    If you do ask them though - be prepared for some things you may not want to hear.
  • I apologize for coming across as unappreciative. I read over the posts and realize I was simply misunderstanding some of the comments. It seems easy to take some posts out of context and I am new to all of this. Thanks to everyone who at least made an effort to help me understand this issue. Maybe it is just a common event that is not personal. I admit to not revealing much anyway. That may be their cue to not delve further. I have not been a chronic pain patient very long. I just have a very positive attitude and downplay my problems. I may be the reason for their actions now that I have contemplated my own behaviors around my friends and family. Your comments alone allowed me to be more introspective of my own behaviors. The "tough guy" who never gets phased and pushes on. I guess I ansewed my own inquiies but you all helped me to.
  • I'm glad that you were able to find some answers! I certainly hope that you do not stop visiting us here, and stop posting!!! It is hard for everyone to properly convey their message via these means, when you're not talking in person.
    I understand what your question was, and I also understand what you are going through as well (as so many people here do). I'm still in the military, in fact going back to work after 4 months off later this week. I've popped in a couple of times since being off (they moved me to a different position while on sick leave, so had to clear out my office, and drop off sick leave passes), and have always put on the "game face" so they all think that I'm doing great!!! I think I did more harm than good doing that, lol!! Might not help when it comes time for them to do a medical review for my medical release (yes, I'm hoping for one...) As for my close friends, I think they know that even if they ask, I'll just say "I'm pretty good!!" but on the odd occasion, I do feel a little put off when they roll their eyes when I say I can't do something because I'm not feeling up to it (unfortuneatly, has happened quite often the past year). But then again, one has a 2 year old, and is pregnant again, the other just had her baby last week, and the 3rd, we're all pretty sure is going thru pre-menopause, so who knows, maybe they're thinking I really have nothing to complain about!!! =)) On the other end, there's my mom, who does ask everyday, but her answer is "well, I feel that way, too" and I feel like saying to her "yes, but you're 63, and I'm only 36!!!" So anyways, maybe your friends don't ask, because they think they might know what your response is going to be, or that you're not going to be honest about it anyways, and keep the "tough guy" act going.
    I sincerely do hope that you'll keep visiting and posting, and know that we will ask how you are doing and will understand you, and that we all do care!!!
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
  • I love this topic. You would think from my posts that I would be the type of person who is always talking about my pain...not even close. If you knew me in real life you would probably be afraid to ask me about it because 1/ I hide it, or I try to hide it. 2/ I tend to give people short answers when they ask--sometimes I am visibly irritated to be asked (I try not to let it show). I come to this board when I'm at my wit's end--in my own timing because I know I can either get some good answers (I get better answers on this board then I do from doctors--that is sad) or maybe be an encouragement to someone else who truly is in pain. Maybe that is why my posts are so long--I let it all out here instead of unloading on my friends. You DON'T want to be that person who is always talking about themselves and their pain--no one wants to be around that type of person, as tempting as it is given the pain.

    Plainly put: I do not like being asked about my pain. I'll put it in context. I am a public figure in a very large church (over 1200)--people look to me to lead them, to counsel them, to be a strong one. They all know, however, that I have had major back surgery and it is hard to hide back pain when you visibly can't bend and move pretty slow at times. On Sundays, I may get asked 40-50 times about my back. I love the idea of the business card. It actually makes the pain worse when people ask about it--there is a mental aspect to pain--you have to get your mind off of it to have a fighting chance. So when people ask me about the pain--especially so many times when I'm trying to do my job--Sunday is the height of my week--so just imagine the busiest and most challenging part of your week--and being asked constantly about your back. I have appreciated the people in my life who have not asked me about it all the time--but I know they care and would gladly talk to me about it in MY time. That is the benefit of mature relationships. I'd also say that those in chronic pain need even more character than the average pain-free person. You are already fighting a huge physical war--it will make it that much harder if you are also a person who struggles relationally or become an especially needy person. Sadly, the two tend to go hand in hand. It's tough!

    So, I think it depends on the person. I'm fortunate to be surrounded by caring people--so I kind of sound like a jerk complaining about people asking about my back. There are others who have no one--or a family who just doesn't give a rip or who may not even believe in your pain. Here's the thing--most people really don't care--mature or not. Most people, especially in this culture of ours are extremely self-centered...not even in a bad way per se--but it is just the culture we have built. Narcissism. I think all of us tend to be the stars of our own movies. I've noticed that since I've been in such pain, it is harder for me to enter into other people's pain the way I used to. You would think it would work the other way--but I can only take so much. I still feel more for others in pain, for sure, but I don't "go there" with people the way I probably should.

    One thing I've noticed about myself: even though I hate talking about my pain with most every person--including family members, I talk about it too much to the person closest to me: my wife. She is my best friend but she has had to bear the brunt of my pain talk. She has been great, but there have been times I have wondered if I should give her a month long holiday on the pain talk. She knows the depths of my pain and has seen some pretty dark moments. Why wouldn't I give her the best of me and strive to be stronger for her?

    Which leads me to this: I also think that something as profoundly painful and disappointing as chronic pain is not easily reduceable to a quick answer. I sometimes even find it invasive to be asked about something that is private. Especially when the person asking then goes on to tell a long story about their back pain, or someone else's that has nothing to do with me...it actually has the reverse effect because now my back hurts from standing so long listenting to their story.

    There are certain people who I know every time I see them are going to ask me about my back. You just want to tell them that it is a long process and I am one of the people who may get relief long term but haven't had much since the surgery. If the shoe were on the other foot, now that I have been through this, I wouldn't "ask" someone invasive questions about their pain--I would probably just make statements of love and support. "I'm here for you if you ever want or need to talk." "I know the road has been painful, but keep perservering." "I'm not even going to ask about your pain because I know it hurts, but please know I care, am here for you to vent, and am praying for you." Asking whether or not I am glad I had the surgery, or if I still have to take meds, or if I have tried accupuncture, or if I have heard of such-and-such a surgeon...I could do without all that.

    I think this is a very individualistic issue. I also don't think it has anything to do with being a Marine. Even for those as tough as Marines, they know there is an end game for specific tasks (unless they are captured as a prisoner of war)--with chronic pain, there is no end in sight besides death or a cure (which doesn't seem likely when you have tried the measures most of us have tried). Chronic pain is similar to forms of torture depending on the severity.

  • Funny thing, every time I talk to my mom she asks: "How's the back?" And every time I answer with "Still there." Sometimes it really kinda irritates me but I know she's just wanting to know if there's any progress.

    My kids never ask, nor would I expect them to. Teenage boys are invincible! My wife never asks, she just knows. When I'm having a good or bad day, she can just tell. She will tell me that I look like I'm having a bit of a hard time and to let her take care of something.

    At work I get the same from my supervisors as from my mom: How is your back today? I usually respond with "hurts like hell". I work with a couple in the same boat I am and we kinda support each other & ignore the others.
  • Hope for Chuck, you really hit the nail on the head. Thanks. I share your thoughts and your struggles. I wish you well.

  • Robin, as always you hit it on the head. I agree, especially the elephant in the room...that was perfect!

    I really think family and friends really don't know what to say or do after awhile so they ignore it. It's sort of like after a funeral....family and friends care and love you but they just don't know what to say or do so they ignore the subject leaving the person/family in more grief. We're all guilty of this at times!

    But most of us don't want to be asked or talk about the pain or what we can or can't do any more than anyone wants to hear about it! More importantly, whether we have had cp, life changes for years or recently, it is hard everyday and we alone are the ones dealing with our bodies and the life (or as I call it, "empty life" syndrome) due to our pain and limitations.

    Personally, sometimes I feel like the invisible elephant and I feel alone, lonely with my family and friends. I just want to be acknowledged/accepted for the person I am now. Do you think that is how you really feel, Jarhead?

    Ex: Yesterday, Memorial day, is a big day for me. I always have the flags out, red, white, blue theme inside out, big BBQ for family/friends,all my kids friends know where the food is, even in the past several bad years I always talked my husband into doing it even if he did more work than me! But this year we just couldn't do it. I'm not able to do it yet with this fusion and my husband's back is not so good right now. We did the flags of course and inside some deorations but instead of BBQ'ing we ordered BBQ and still enjoyed the holiday with our son and a few of his friends. All those we had for years were too busy with new plans, never asked us either. That's ok because it was a good day for us here. Best part of the day our son in the Navy called!!!

    But what I wanted yesterday, every day, is someone to call or come by to include me in and talk about little things, life in general, talk and enjoy the memories of the good times we had at past holidays, what they did and how they enjoyed their day, what we did, just geniune care and concern for family and friends and conversation. I just want to share, chat, be part of a normal life again in whatever way it is now. Everyone is still in the fast lane which is where I want them to be...I just would like them to take a pit stop once in awhile, share with me so I can feel human and live through them! We want to be given the opportunity to be included even if we have to excuse ourselves and say no, we want the choice. By asking us to join them or what we did they will silenty hear gow we feel, what we can or can't do by our conversations, actions.

    We will make it through the tough times by coming here to SH to vent, express ourselves, because we wouldn't share the deep feelings,truth with anyone but SH friends, that is why this is my fav place to come to, a new home, when I need support, which is daily!


  • CP gets old pretty fast

    I bet we can all agree on that ;))

    And Thank You Kathy~that made my(otherwise terrible)night a little brighter :)))
  • You are welcome...you just know how to expree the right perspective with your words! Thanks for being here for us. Hope you feel better today!

  • Thanks for the post Michael. This whole thread was helpful. Looks like I started a subject that hit home to many of us. I'm just learning. I had my surgery in November 2007 after experiencing unusual back pain while lifting weights as I normally have for 30 years (off and on). Then 3 months post surgery I began to decline rapidly and could barely walk. I had an MRI in February 2008 and thats when the adhesive arachnoiditis was discovered. I had an incredibly difficult 2008. I had a neurostimulator implanted in June and that helped "take the edge off" and allowed me more functionality. Before all of that were the epidurals (4) and 1 radiofrequency procedure (waste). I did not get as much pain relief as I had hoped from the neurostim but any relief at all is good. I also learned in 2008 I need bilateral total knee replacements which I am putting off as long as I can. So it was a tough year with a lot of learning and adjusting. I spent most of the year on my couch reclining. Now I force myself to do a reasonable workout routine daily as my doctor has suggested. The Marine Corps instilled fitness as an important aspect of my life and I have kept it going. I just do a reasonable routine that has helped with my arthritic pain but has done nothing for the neuropatic pain or stamina. It has also elevated my mood and positive outlook. I have recently developed parathesia/neuropaty??? with severe pain at night in bed in my shoulders, arms and hands. The numbness and tingling is intermittent during the day. The feet came first many months ago. Then a CT scan of the cervical spine last month. I have 3 herniated discs, a bunch of other problems and nerve impingements at all levels but one. I have been referred to a neurologist for a consult.
  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,732
    And welcome to S.H.
    I know exactly how you feel, I walk in your shoes. I love the Saying you've used, "the three monkeys" behavior. Unfortunately some believe "no news is good news".
    jarhead, never apologise on this forum! If you feel you need to, than someone else is wrong!
    Robin, I don't think jarheads reply was meant for you. And make sure, Mine is not for you. I find you very supportive to all.
    Some others always seam to be insulting! Even if it might not be intended.

    good luck, Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • Thank you for all of your posts. I've thought a lot about this and your posts really helped me out! :*

    Much love and understanding,
  • I'm so sorry to hear that your friends aren't showing any interest in what you have been through and what you are continuing to go through.

    I am curious...are your friends men or women??
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