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Saying goodbye to my son today

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,671
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:31 AM in Matters of the Heart
My first child has left the nest today, and it is so hard. I sit here crying, because even though he is 24, he has been my best friend for a long time. And I know I have been his as well, the only difference is, because he does not get along well with his half brother and sister, he doesn't care if he ever comes back. (no, he never said so, I just know.

He's heading off to Utah to stay with my brother who has graciously offered to teach him his trade... a mechanic... I just hope he finds what he is looking for. I've been worried about him for so long, never had a gf (or bf for that matter), no friends (like me in that regard, family has always been my world), and no future, so I've often wondered what would become of him when I'm gone.

I will miss him so much, and even though I want him to do what's right for him, the selfish part of me hopes he comes back home, even if he doesn't live in the same apartment...


  • hi!! :H you are going through a new stage in your life as your first "little one" leaves home. :''( i can feel your sorrow and worry and hope for him. :X i am sure you have given him what he needs to succeed with just a little help from your brother. =D> it should make you feel better to know he will be with family. <:P i am sure you need to shed some tears and feel sad for awhile. :''( know your SH family is here for you as well. :D chin up and i hope you are feeling better soon!! he is going to do great! =D> you have the joy of watching your son turn into the good man you raised him to be!! =D> Jenny :)
  • I feel your pain.I really do.

  • When our kids were babies, a friend of mine and I used to say, "Oh, I can't wait until they are out of diapers and sleep through the night. Then it will get easier."

    Then when they went to school, we used to laugh and say, "Oh, I can't wait until they are teenagers in high school. Then we won't have to bake so many brownies and attend so many recitals and make so many costumes."

    When they became teenagers, we used to joke, "I can't wait until they are grown up and settled. Then we won't have to deal with this rebellious stage and fight about curfews and dating and taking the car."

    Well, guess what? They did grow up and they did become settled and now we say, "Oh, I can't wait until they come to visit. Remember when they were babies? I miss changing their diapers, cuddling them in my arms, making their costumes, attending their recitals and even arguing about curfews and dating. I miss them needing me."

    Isn't it funny how life always seems to come full circle? We never stop worrying about our kids, no matter how old they are.

    And we never really stop needing our own parents. In fact, I still rely on my own mother (she's 79) to share her wisdom with me when I am feeling a bit down and need some advice.

    The loving bond between a parent and child will never be broken, no matter how much distance separates you. Your son loves you and will always need you.

    You should be proud of yourself for bringing him up so well that he feels secure enough in himself to make this major change in his life. That means that you have equipped him with all the tools that he needs to make it on his own.:) But you will always be his home base and his anchor.

    Big hugs,


  • Thank you everyone for your words. :S This has got to be the hardest time of any parents life, it just seems like my kids will all be leaving in a 5 year period for me :< .... That's what I get for having twins I guess :P

    Karen, what you wrote is so on the nail =))
  • Thanks Paul, I'm really trying, but he's been a rock for me for so long, but I do hope for grandkids some day :p
  • It's so hard when the kids leave the nest. It sounds like the two of you are close and no distance can change that. He's taking charge of his life and hopefully he'll find a career that will fulfill him and help him find happiness.

    My daughter was always a "loner" too....until we moved to different states. She grew in so many ways, it was remarkable. Although it's painful for us our job is to make sure that our children can go out in the world and make their own way. Good Job Kat!

    By the way, my daughter is still my baby. Time or distance doesn't change that and I hope that makes you feel better :)

  • So young to be leaving!! My twins are 18, and I know they will both be here through college, so at least there is that. Is yours going away to college? 3 months to stock up on everything you want to do and say before she heads out, I wish you the best!

    I suppose I was lucky in a way that this was decided on about a week prior to him leaving, and I am really good at ignoring things that I know are going to upset me. I was trying to get him out of the house without me making a stink (didn't want him to feel guilty), but I couldn't do it. But, we made facebook accounts before he left, and we just keep each other updated that way. lol, only a few days, and there are about 10 entries already! =))

    But you are right, loving mothers we are, and always will be. :X
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,839
    They will always remain our 'little' children and we will always look after them and want the best for them.
    It doesnt matter how old they are or how long they have left the house.
    My 31 year old daughter is still my little baby and she will be forever. My 35 year old son is still that young boy out on the ice ring playing hockey, he will always be in my heart.
    I remember in each of my childrens's situations when they went off to college. I maintained good emotions in front of them, but once my wife and I drove off, I was a basket case.
    Its just part of the growing up process and it never ends.
    When my son was an instructor in Lucca , Italy, we visited him. We spent about a week together, and I remember when he had to part from us in Venice, I hugged him and never wanted to let him go.
    To this day both of our children , ummm adults are close to both my wife and I. In many ways they are and we are their best friends. We enjoy spending time together.
    Sure, there are always some conflicts, as it is in any household.
    I do really believe that as parents we love our children, but many times it takes a situation where they have to leave our homes. From that point on, you can cherish all of your old memories together and look forward to all the joy that is in the future.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Just be glad that he is living and can come back at any time.....some aren't so lucky...........My mother's son, my brother, Ben aka Agriman passed away last october and we won't see him again until we leave this world.But we do have that confidence that we will see him again.......
  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,730
    But it has been a long time Kat. They live less than 2 hrs. away. So that makes it nice. I would have a hard time if one of them were to move a long way away..
    I feel for you, It is tough! But when he dose well for himself you'll be proud.
    Good luck, Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • Thank you :D

    I spoke to him, and he actually got a job 2 days after he got there (after looking for one for almost a year here), so he is working hard learning to be a mechanic during the day, then working at night. I am extremely proud of him, and I know this was the best thing for him.
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