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I hate anxiety attacks

NumbskullNNumbskull Posts: 1,526
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:31 AM in Matters of the Heart
I feel an attack coming on... well, it's already started... mind racing, heart pounding, body shaking, can't breathe... I know it's because I'm to start work again in two days, after 4 months off. I haven't had an attack in about as long (well, except for right before my surgery...) I don't want to go back!! I'm in the military, and they've moved me to a new position. I'm in the biggest unit in the canadian forces, and the busiest (people always going everywhere in the world). My new job consists of ensuring that all the administration and pay for these people are up to date, and to support them administratively while they are away. The hardest part is sending people off overseas, not knowing if they'll be back in my office again. Brings back a lot of scary and painful memories. The only thing keeping me going is that my new boss worked with me on my first tour in Afghanistan. She is wonderful and if I have to go back, she's the one I want to work with!
My medical file is going to be sent to our defense headquarters next month, for a medical review. I am hoping for a medical release (there are so many benefits that go with that) and I'm pretty sure I will get it, with my neck problems, leg problems, and anxiety/ptsd. It's just such a long wait to find out, months, and I just wish I could fast forward to next year and skip all this. I'm working on getting my diploma for addicitions counselling, and will go to university after to get my degree. I can't wait. I am so proud to wear our uniform, but it comes with a lot of unwanted extras now.
I just need to breathe.... but feel a little better letting it out, thanks for listening (or should I say reading)...
Peace and love, be well
Kelly
APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
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Comments

  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 10,059
    set way to avoid , minimize or control anxiety attacks.
    They can come on for so many different reasons, but I think that anyone who has had one really wants to avoid having the next one.
    Its so easy for others on the outside to just tell you to calm down and relax and everything will be fine.

    Good luck keeping on top of this.

    I am always grateful to communicate with any person that is in the service providing duties that help others enjoy what they have.

    Ron DiLauro Veritas-Health Forums Manager
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Thanks, Ron. Well, the attack subsided, as it alwasy does, and now I lay awake sleepless waiting for tomorrow to come, and go to work... Sometimes, I can stop an attack from getting to be too bad, and other times, I just have to see it through and let it go. I try to avoid my known triggers, but sometimes they're unavoidable, and sometimes they come on for reasons unknown. I'm just thankful I don't get them as often as I once did!!
    Thank you for your kind words, as always.
    Kelly
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
  • Good luck with going back to work tomorrow! I hope everything goes well and you have a positive day.

    I bet everyone will be happy to see you back and you'll receive many smiles. :)

    Great news about your medical file being sent to defense headquarters for review. Once you get the process started for review, you will be closer and closer to a medical release. It sounds to me like you will get your medical release, from what you have shared. :)

    I can empathize with you on the anxiety, as I also have anxiety and the occasional panic attacks. Mine will sometimes escalate to feeling like I can't swallow and those attacks are soooo inconvenient while you are at work. Why can't those just wait until I am at home or somewhere else.. you know? No one in the office can tell when I am having anxiety, as I always remain very calm on the "outside". I calmly will excuse myself from my office and take the elevator down to the lower level for some nice fresh air. By the time I reach the lower level, I'm sure my face is flushed by that time... lol. But, out the main entrance I go for a much needed fresh air break.

    Deep breaths... deep breaths... I even say that to my daughter when she's all upset over an episode at school. "So and so said this Mommy... and I just told her that she should not be saying stuff like that!" My daughter is a little drama queen and she'll get going and going with her stories to the point where I'm like, "Hey kiddo... let's try some deep breaths, deep breaths!" She always laughs when I say that, but actually will take a little breather. Naturally, she starts back up a little while later. :))(

    Any hoo... I'll stop gabbing. Just wanted to wish you a good day tomorrow and was happy to learn about your possible medical release.

    Way to go soldier! =D>

    Hugs to you,

    Tammy >:D<
  • lol, yes I tell myself to breathe, too!! Today was okay, my new boss wasn't in, so I just talked to my replacement, and to the person I'm replacing, went to a meeting, read through my e-mails (4 months worth, ugghh, the delete button got a workout, lol) There was a social function this afternoon, so I left at lunch. I'm a little disappointed, because by lunch, my neck was very sore and my other arm was bothering me a little, it still hurts to sit up for too long, but thank goodness, my doctor said I do not have to do full hours for now, so I have that out, if I do need it. I'm hoping after a couple of days though, I will be used to sitting at the desk again!!
    And you were right, I was greeted with lots of smiles and welcome backs, and then my former supervisor telling me he needed me to write an evaluation on one of my former subordinates, by tomorrow... yes, welcome back, indeed!!! :O So now I must go exercise my creative writing abilities, as she only worked for me for a couple of months, and I have to evaluate her on the entire year... And I took a pain pill a little while ago... but that could work out very well, as I'm not cranky!!! sshhh, don't tell anyone!! :$
    Okay, enough procrastinating on my part, gotta get crackin.
    Thanks for the encouragement, I'll remember to breathe, and think of you and your daughter next time it happens!!
    Enjoy your day all, be well, I'm off to be productive for the first time in months... @)
    Kelly
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 10,059
    and slowly work you way up to what you know you can tolerate. The worst thing you can do right now is push yourself beyond what you should be doing. In doing that, you could risk setting yourself back a number of weeks.
    As long as your work environment allows you to gradually build up your strength, then I would say that it is the best thing you can do.
    A little at a time goes a long way in the end
    Ron DiLauro Veritas-Health Forums Manager
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
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