I am so frustrated. Every time I see one of my doctors they "lead" me in the direction they want me to go, and I have no chance for questions. It's like I'm a piece on a game board, being moved around where they want me. My PM is the only one who actually listens to me, no matter how long it takes for me to get it all out, but he can't help me with my current problems, since he gave the refferal out for the care of my spine problems.
First, a few months ago, I tried talking to my NS, he interrupted me and I never did get to tell him all my symptoms (my son was there, and he was very angry when we left), and was sent on my way.
Then, I decided I would be better off seeing a physiatrist, so I asked for a referral from the NS, and they sent me to someone that immediately tried to get me on suboxone, to get me off pain pills, that I still feel help alot at least 4 days out of the week. My insurance didn't cover it, so I go see him again yesterday, ready to tell him my current problems and ask if an injection would help. He immediately steered me toward getting off the pills, so I said how I usually do it on my own with Ultram (I guess I was hoping to impress upon him that it's not a problem for me to wean off WHEN I NO LONGER HAVE PAIN), but he latched onto that and asked if I wanted to do that. I just gave in/up! I can't explain myself to these doctors anymore, it just makes me so sick, physically, to listen to them, they don't care about me, and that hurts the most. I guess now, I will know how real my pain is, which is something I've wanted to know for a long time anyway, the doctors have all convinced me my pain is caused by being on pain meds for so long (even though I went on and off for quite a while before requiring them daily prior to surgury).
I really don't have a problem with the weaning, it's the lack of caring or even wanting to figure out what's going on, that really hurts. I thought a PM was supposed to help you get to the bottom of your pain, which is why I asked for the referral to begin with! Since then, I've been treated as though my NS quit ME, and didn't want to deal with my pain, when, even though they mentioned me tapering, they never told me I HAD to....
Sorry this is so long, I'm just so frustrated. I go see the NS tomorrow for the results of my CT/Myelo. Hopefully there is nothing there, then I can go back to my PCP and start over again.