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We Come, We Stay, We Leave

dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,859
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:31 AM in Matters of the Heart
I have seen many members come and go in the past three years.
And almost to a tee, the stories are the same. People find this site and find a great support system. They make friends with other members, then they wind up leaving.

I think looking at this from a medical point.....

- Problems you have to deal with before surgery
- Problems during surgery
- Problems dealing with post surgical situations

Notice, I used Problems as the pre-fix for all of them. Not because I do not beleve in things being resolved.

I am very happy for those members that move on. They start to feel good and can continue with or without Spine-Health.
They may leave us, and I am happy about that, because that means they are doing ok. I have often thought about what we do here.. I know we have a strong community to help one another when needed. Ans MEMBERS DO THAT. So, my hats off to those that have moved ahead and can do so without medical problems.

I never will say a bad thing about someone leaving Spine-Health. And when that id driven out of love and caring, that is so fine
Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com


  • Ron, I like your analysis. I too am happy when people are well enough to move on. For those of us who stay, we form much needed friendships who support us through the ups and downs. I don't post a lot at this point in time, but I am always here, reading and silently cheering my fellow spineys on.

    Maybe one day I will be well enough to leave spine-health. But for now, I'm glad I have a place to come for support, and when I am feeling like I am dealing okay with my own problems, I will get back to encouraging and supporting others. I truly believe when I am uplifting and supporting others, I forget about my own pain, so I need to get back to doing just that.

    Surviving chronic pain one day at a time, praying for a reprieve because living another 40 years like this doesn't sound too fun!
  • Yes, PapaRon, well said.

    Personally, I don't need a lot of support and I don't have major pain or issues that keep me from doing normal things. From time to time, I've needed support and kind words (losing my buddy, pain and company, etc.), but it's been less and less as I get farther from my surgery. I'm one of the lucky ones that have support from my family, friends and doctors.

    I'm now here primarily to help support those that need it. I'm especially sensitive to those that know they're going to have surgery and are terrified. I will NEVER forget how that felt and the kind and soothing words that were offered to me when I first posted. There's nothing that feel better than having someone tell me "thank you, you've really helped me."

    I'm very proud of those that are able to move on and it's nice to know that we have played at least a small part in their recovery and ability to get on with their lives.

    Yay for Spine-Health.
  • RangerRRanger on da rangePosts: 805
    Hey Ron, Cindy, & Cath,
    You and the others here is why I stick around also. Yes I have great support from my family, friends, and Dr's also but it's just good to try and support someone else that is going through what we did our first go-round.
    If I can make one person smile and take their mind off their problems for just a few minutes I feel good inside and it takes my mind off my discomfort as well. If people move-on and leave S-H due to their improvement then so be it. You never know, someday they may remember the support they got here and decide to come back to support other newbies.
  • Leave Spine-Health? Its a part of my life. Its become a touchstone as well as the rock when the storms too great to bear. I like to think I can grow because of it!
    As for thse members whove gone further on down the path, know you were loved and loved in return so spread the boon you had recieved and dont forget us K.
    THese are just some little words o mine
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • Spine Health is a great place for meeting others, gaining support and venting where others will understand. What frustrates me is when members use it for other purposes and try to hurt or manipulate. We are a very diverse group of individuals, with backgrounds that can and probably are polar opposites, however for the most part we can come together for the common theme of support. It is nice when we can agree to disagree and move on.

    I have met and made some life long friends here and as you know have even met them in person. That's something I will always be grateful to Spine Health for.

    I don't always agree with what a member writes or says in chat, but it doesn't mean that I wouldn't extend a hand to help if needed. I believe that is a very common theme among the membership. It's how we heal, by reaching out to help others. Getting out of self is vitally important in the struggle against chronic pain. Spine health affords us that opportunity.

    I have thought about moving on from Spine Health, but my friends always seem to drag me back even when they have no clue I was considering doing just that. It's the cosmic way of the world I guess.

    So thanks for your selfless dedication to making Spine Health a nice gathering place. You are a rock! You are a great man! You are a good person! Thanks Ron!

  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,859
    Oh so often do people tell you what you want to hear. Its sort of a appeasement and many times it is just what is needed.
    But there are times when people need to hear what should be said.
    "C", I've known you for a while now and you know that I admire your traits. Someone who can speak the truth say what has to be said and not worry about what people may think.... I only wish I had that strength.
    You are a solid piece of Spine-Health. Your contributions have been beyond what people can just say. I have learned a lot from you over these past two years and I hope I will continue to learn.
    Please always continue to bring to Spine-Health what you always have.... Truth, Honesty , Compassion and a sense of what is right or wrong.
    I always tip my hat to you
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,730
    Chronic pain for me is a life sentence. I'm not a person that posts a lot. But I read when I can and I try to answer questions if I can. And try to give some support when I can.
    It's a great place! Only regret is I didn't find it soon enough!
    Good luck, Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • Many will leave here with increased knowledge and understanding of themselves and others and where they fit into this, even experienced chronic pain patients wish they could wave that magic wand and improve everyone, and realistically a kind word and listening ear is something devoid in the pain free world at times.

    That spine health umbilical will never leave us and we can always contact home when needed. It is good that people move on, and is reflective of the success of this site in doing what we want, support encouragement and understanding. We all have that knowledge that we can make a difference and life does and should continue even with chronic pain, a true measure in how to survive inexplicably difficult circumstance with understanding and support for others even in our bad times, a gift to share.

    Never give in, you owe it to yourself.

    Take care John x =D>
  • I haven't been around for a while but I always know I can come home. I couldn't ever leave here. That's just not possible. I have made too many friends that I would miss dearly.
  • I check in at Spine Health daily. I consider it a big part of my support, even tho I have not had surgery. Right now I am battling diverticulitis, so my cervical problems are back burner (any Spineys knowing anything about this please pm me.) Anyway, I appreciate Ron and everyone at Spine Health.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,859
    is that there is never a level of commitment or expectation placed on members. There have been so many members who have come and gone and I wish them the best. I have known many of them and while they where here, they asked and they contributed.
    And we have folks that stay a while, leave for a bit, come back.. I love those folks... Because you know that they realize what Spine-Health means and the member community that is here.
    Then we have us long timers. Heck, we just love being here, cant say more than that.

    But, it doesnt matter if a person stayed 1 day or 5 years they are always welcomed at the Spine-Health Family home.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Yes. People come, people go. I'm one of the ones(reluctantly) 'going', but I suspect only for now. This site has helped me tremendously over the past year, and words aren't enough to express my gratitude. Gratitude for a chance to learn from others, be helped by others, and hopefully, in some small way, having had the opportunity to help someone else out myself. Best thing about spine health is it helped me to not feel alone, like 'it' was all in my head and I was inherently flawed somehow.
    Pain is hard. Period. And what I've learned is that physical pain is only one part of the pain 'structure' we spineys feel. It can become emotionally and mentally crippling before it does physically. This you can't explain to people who only have the occasional 'back-ache.' To the 'normals', we're often considered whiners...."suck-it-up princess.." You know, that sort of crap. They have NO idea.
    I've had it 'good' compared to so many of you, and your strength and courage have inspired me. Hats off to those of you in pain-whatever way shape or form-who continue to help others. In helping others, we help ourselves.
    I'll be back. But for now, I have to look within-not without.

    Thanks' for the help and the great topic Papa Ron!

    Rock on Spineys!!!

    You have all my utmost understanding and respect,

  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,859
    as I know many others here at Spine-Health are.
    Keep well, keep that spine in good condition, do not over do anything.....

    Is that a kayak as your avatar??
    Sure looks like one.
    I just started getting into it. We just have a 10 footer, my daughter has a 13 footer which glides so much better. My neighbor, built his own... All wood, beautiful, about 16 feet long and about (seems) 6 inches wide. I tried it once, I think as soon as I got in, it started to glide through the water.

    Craig, my very best to you

    And you know you are always welcomed here
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • I don't know if I'm a comin or goin these days.
    But I always know I can visit Spine Health.
    to get help or just read and maybe give some help.

    Thanks to all that have helped me.
  • I havn't been on in awhile because like Ron said we get to feeling better & other things take up our time. I'm almost 4 months post op from a minamally invasiv surgery that has put me back to 80% I still like to drop in & read now & then because this site can become habit formming.
  • I am one of the success stories, but I manage to find my way back, even though my career and personal situation is demanding. I travel from west coast to east coast on business and have 2 young children, putting a premium on my time. However, I'll always be grateful to the folks that stood by me when I was debilitated by my spinal fusion, prompting a recovery that took over 2 years.

    I will always return to reciprocate the favor, especially now that I am fully engaged in life once again. I too was once in spinal darkness and have great empathy for those that still are. It's the least I can do.

    My only suggestion is that tolerance be shown towards some long time members who see to have run afoul of the terms of service on these boards. I hate to bring this up, but I don't think the threat of censorship was warranted in many cases with people who have long helped others here. I know for a fact that some people have left because of this or have significantly diminished their contributions.

    I personally appreciate SH and think this is a great endeavor, one that is always improving. I would love for nothing more than for members to stay on, through thick and thin. I guess this means also us members being more tolerant of one another and the administrators...even when we feel we have been slighted.

    Anyways, God bless you all...and thank you all for being part of my healing.

    Cheers, Mate
  • hiya Mate....glad you are feeling good...how far east do you travel....ever to Maine?
  • Tampa and Boston these days, but sometimes New York City...my old haunt. :)

    Cheers, Mate
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