I have been with my finacee for almost 5 years now and we are planning to marry in October. I just recently had a spinal fusion at L4-S1 to alleviate sciatic pain in my hamstring, my knee, and my foot. This was my 3rd surgery after two failed laminectomys.
I was hopeful this would put an end to all the pain and I could get my butt back to work (been unable to work for a yr. now)however, after a week of being pain-free my foot pain has once again reared it's ugly head and I am concerned about dooming my wonderful g/f to a life of heavy narcotics and disability checks. There is a chance that my foot pain resurfacing is totally normal, I haven't heard back from the doc yet, but i suspect it indicates another failed surgery.
Is it right to go through with a wedding when I may never be able to provide for a family? I love my fiancee so much just thinking about losing her makes my eyes well up and my heart ache. I love her with all of my soul which is why I believe letting her go maybe the best thing for her. That would at least give her a chance at a normal life...right? Wouldn't it be selfish of me not to give her that chance?
This would of course destroy me. I know she is the girl for me...I don't believe I could ever love anyone else as much as I love her, but it still isn't fair to her.
Perhaps the doc will call back with good news, but I know that chance is slim and my time to decide grows shorter by the day. I don't want to burden her for the rest of her life with my pain but I can't stand to lose her.
I'm sure that I am not the first person to go through this so any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.