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I guess I just need to vent to people who have been there

KEKKE Posts: 21
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:32 AM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery
It's Sunday morning, I woke at 4:30 a.m. in pain, because I didn't take meds last night. Trying not to! Crying from frustration. My body hurts, bottom line. If you asked me right now to tell you where it hurts, I would have a hard time pinpointing it, because it seems to just envelope me sometimes. I am sitting here in pain. Now neck and arm pain. I know it's all related, like the fusions in the lower back have changed the load on my spine higher up. I'm starting phys. therapy for that next week, but my options for leg/back are not good: surgery again with no guarantees, that pain machine no guarantees. Just no guarantees at all because the cause of my lower back and leg pain is not clear. It could be from a herniated disc at L5-S1 or the tangle of scar tissue at the 2007 surgical site or the possible nerve root impingement at L4-5.

I read these posts and I know I don't have half the problems and pain as some people here. I am embarrassed to even be writing, as if I have it so bad. Oh my. I wish there was magic dust that people could just sprinkle over themselves to ease that pain, just take it away.

For me, really, it's not so bad. Take away the pain and my life is blessed. I have generally been a happy person with a wonderful husband and loving family. But mornings like this, I don't know. I feel kind of hopeless this morning. I guess I just need to vent to people who have been there. . .


  • It's okay to FEEL and if that means you need to find a place to vent, then go for it. I'm glad you posted. Never minimize your own pain in comparison to others. It doesn't matter if your situation is different from someone else, what matters is that it is consuming you at the moment and because of that, it is as Ron likes to refer to it, "The Beast".

    So do what you can to help yourself get a bit more comfortable. I hope the PT provides you some help. And when you find that magic dust, let me know, I'd like a little of it myself.

  • Man, I am weepy today! Your message was very kind and I thank you so much. K
  • im glad you vented also. i hope you get a good today. but if your awake from pain and crying why on earth are you trying not to take a pain pill, i dont understand. the meds are there to help you and improve your function. you are not a crook for taking a pain pill to help yoyrself out. i wish there was majic also. you know god put all these chemicals here on earth for a reason, i find no harm in taking meds to help pain, just takeas prescribed and share all the feelings you spoke of here to your dr. you know its natural for people in chronic pain to feel some degree of depression and the dr can help with that as well, crying is 1 symptom of depresion. on this site there is a list of 9 symtoms of depression and if you have 5 of them it says you have depresin. and it says that chronic pain causes major clinical depression,im not suggesting that you attempt to self diagnos yourself for depression, wich is a serious problem but it can give you a baseline and things to talk to dr about, there is help available for that and remember there is always hope.

    if you wold like you can pm me and i will tell you a joke to help cheer you up. that goes for anyone else on here also, im always available for anyone to talk to, and im up late at night a lot if anyone finds themself awake from pain like i am.
  • The main reason I didn't take that pain med last night has to do with the fact that last week I had a seizure from that ct myelogram and I keep checking to make sure my brain is ok. The Ty. 3 makes me a little fuzzy. I had a cat scan which was fine after, in emergency. But still, that was really scary and now if I even get a little headache I'm thinking it's a symptom. The other reason is that I want to be able to function without meds, so I keep trying.

    You are right about using meds when needed. My concern is that they aren't working like they used to, and I will not take more and more. No way. I do not want to get hooked.

    As for depression, I will try to find that symptoms of depression site. Right now I have trouble sleeping but it's from pain. Then I am emotional and very tired but that's in a large part due to lack of sleep--I'm getting maybe 4-5 hrs a night, and that's when I take melatonin. And, I am definitly frustrated with my continuuing physical pain and problems. I have been out of work due to foot, dealing with that problem, back and leg, and now neck and arm.

    You know what I need? A vacation. Thank you very very much for taking the time to respond to my weepy plea. KE
  • Most of us here have good days and bad days, and than some horrible days. So nobody is going to minimize your pain, as all of us have been there. But there is a ray of hope, maybe tomorrow morning you will feel better. I wish it with all my heart. Meanwhile, if you feel you need support, or just some sympathetic ears, we are here.

    Wishing you a pain-free tomorrow!

  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,833
    We dont have any rules that say a person can not vent.
    It doesnt matter if you had spinal problems for one week or 10 years!. We are a aite that tries to help anyone that reaches out to discuss their problems.
    Living with spinal problems is no picnic. The best advice we can offer is before it becomes a chronic situation, explore every conservative treatment that there is.. Surgery is always an option, but it should always be the last option
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • maybe you need to change to a different pain med. Not necessarily stronger, maybe a differnt one will work better. It is hard not to cry when you hurt and cant keep it under control. I have had my share of crying and venting. I think just putting things on this web site sometimes helps. To know that there ae people going through the same thing, knowing what you feel and trying to help. I hope you have a better day tommorow. Sometimes that is all we can look forward to. I have been in pain for three years so I know how you feel. Had my surgery in Dec and still await PT. But I look for the light at the end of the tunnel. Its got to be there somewhere. PM me if you ever feel down. I am here most every day at least twice, so I will be there for you. Hugs help sometimes and I am sending you a big one!
  • Vent away! Those of us who have had multi-level surgeries or surgery on more than one area of the spine know well that it only takes one small area to cause agony. Never feel that you are unworthy to ask for sympathy. We all know how much it hurts. Question: why are you trying to not take the pain medication? Is it because the doctor is not willing to give you much, or because you feel you will become addicted? My experience with pain meds has been that if you need them, you should take them. That is what they are there for. You owe it to yourself and your friends and family to get your rest and feel as best you can. Come on in here any old time and vent. We're all here for you.


    3 level spinal fusion, L3/4, L4/5, L5/S1, November 2008. Stiff, but I can walk.
  • Thank you all so much for your kind and encouraging words. Today is a new day, and although I slept fitfully, I feel better emotionally today. I feel blessed that I found this web site because I do believe that you guys know how it feels. I am sure I will post again, for myself, and to try to offer support for others, too. Again, thank you so much everybody.
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