Welcome, Friend!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Veritas-Health LLC has recently released patient forums to our Arthritis-Health web site.

Please visit http://www.arthritis-health.com/forum

There are several patient story videos on Spine-Health that talk about Arthritis. Search on Patient stories
Protect anonymity
We strongly suggest that members do not include their email addresses. Once that is published , your email address is available to anyone on the internet , including hackers.

All discussions and comments that contain an external URL will be automatically moved to the spam queue. No external URL pointing to a medical web site is permitted. Forum rules also indicate that you need prior moderator approval. If you are going to post an external URL, contact one of the moderators to get their approval.
Attention New Members
Your initial discussion or comment automatically is sent to a moderator's approval queue before it can be published.
There are no medical professionals on this forum side of the site. Therefore, no one is capable or permitted to provide any type of medical advice.
This includes any analysis, interpretation, or advice based on any diagnostic test


edited 06/11/2012 - 8:32 AM in Matters of the Heart
I have not been here as much as I have needed to be as a MOD or a MEMBER and for that I am sorry but life has taken me for a crazy ride lately but through all of the craziness , I have realized something so precious and I want to share it....to the other MODS and my Papa , I am sorry that I have not talked to you all first about this but I feel strongly about what I need to say so I will say it and deal with the consequences later but I love you all....please forgive me and understand.

Where do I begin but at the beginning....My life started really started with my husband and my children. They are my life and my everything. My husband saved me from myself....he is my hero , my everything.....my beloved and soul mate. My children , where do I even begin...they are the very ones that make me wake up each day and take that first breath...that breath of life. My family , they are my heartbeat , my breath , my pulse....I could not live without them. I am a broken woman , a woman that can't always do the laundry or cook dinner , but they love me and keep me going , irregardless of the cost. And that cost has been very high...my pain and my loss has hurt them but yet they stay by my side...they hold me up when I can't go on , they pick me up and carry me....they protect me....I am a blessed woman. They never needed to stay...not through my craziness , my hurt , my pain , my feeling like I was less than but yet they have stayed and they have kept me strong.

And then there has been my Spine Health family that has loved me and been there....the e-mails , the PMs , the phone calls....for all of those I thank you...I can never repay that kind of love , I truly wish that I could. You all are so wonderful and joyful to me....you know who you are!!!!!

I say all of this to let others know that there are the ones that love you , if you do not find them within your own family then you can find them here....Lord knows I have....My best friends come from this community...Papa and C and so many more thank you!!!

I may not be around much here lately in the near future because of my health problems but I will do the best that I can to be here for you all and as always I will answer any PM sent to me...please forgive me if it takes a day or two or three to get back to you but I have many things going on besides my spine issues.

And should there come a time that I may not be able to be a MOD to you all anymore then please understand that I will still ALWAYS be here for each and everyone of you...I love you all and I miss you all when I am gone....I only hope that you need and love me like I love and need you all.

I don't claim to be right all of the time but I always try to do right by the person , the member , the friend , my friend...the friend that suffers like I do...please always understand that....if you never know anything about me or if you never understand anything about me then always understand that my heart and soul has always been for you all that have suffered , hurt , been misunderstood and I would give anything , even my soul to make you all better...I love you all with a love that runs deeper than just about anything that I have ever known....I would take your pain and hurt unto myself and not think twice about it....because whether I know you or not , you mean that much to me!!!!

My life was saved from cancer , I fought it and lived and therefore I don't take things lying down...my Dad fights cancer now and he is fighting it in a way that I thought not possible... but my Daddy gives me strength , you all give me strength. I don't come here for pity , I come here to tell you all that life is beautiful and miraculous and so worth living!!!!! So , my friends , live it . and live it to the fullest!!!!! And I will be here by your side , through the good times and bad.....I love you all and please always take care....Miki


  • are with you and your family as you bravely fight another battle. Fight and Win, as we all know you can.

  • So much for your kind words....I will hold them close to my heart....all my best to you and yours....Miki
  • Miki,

    You touched me deeply with your posting. I totally identified with the first part of your post as I can't do what I used to for my beloved family anymore. I am also very thankful and blessed with their love, patience, and caring help. You made me feel that I was not alone with the struggle of feeling less useful.
    I also understood and related to your descriptions of the wonderful people here on spine health and the supportive connections that we have made. I have to tell you that I lost you at your apologies. You have nothing to apologize for!! You have done nothing but given! You need to take the time to heal!! Your family and your SH family need you to take good care of Miki right now. You are the priority! Taking care of yourself and limiting your stress level are the best gifts that you can give anyone right now. It is difficult enough to be a spiney with all its challenges. You have cancer to battle a second time on top of it. You are one strong lady with a wonderfully positive spirit. My Prayers are with you and your whole family.

    Thank you for all your contributions.
    Please take good care of our spiney friend, Miki!

    God Bless !!


  • Miki, all the best to you and your family.. :D i am fighting a small battle outside of my spine issues myself.. i know we are given what we can handle.. there is an angel on your shoulder and mine.. O:) they seem to give us the extra strength we need to go on.. :D take care!!! L, Jenny :)
  • miki my friend you know where to find me if you need me.
    im lost for words.
    take care my friend and speak real soon.

    LOVE P
  • Like P, I don't have the words to say how I feel. You have the gift for words and also the gift of a wonderful family, with loving, supportive friends.

    I truly wish you well Miki, take care my friend.

  • It sounds like you are still going through a lot. We haven't talked for a long time, but I always wonder how you are when I see your name or a post of yours. Am I reading this correctly that your dad has won his cancer battle? Just in time to support you as you battle it yet again?

    Here you are with so much going on and you are giving your love to all of us. That is just who you are Miki. Very generous and compassionate. But don't deplete yourself so much that you don't have the energy to heal. Let me know if I can do anything for you.

    I have gone through many of the same feelings you have, especially when I feel inadequate and like my family deserves so much more. My older children have taught me that even though our situation is not ideal in a Leave it to Beaver/June Cleaver sort of way, the things they have learned by having to lean on one another when I couldn't do for them, those things have helped them to become the responsible young adults they are. They have learned compassion, understanding, tolerance, work ethics, and responsibility. They have learned that if they reach inside themselves they can do things without relying on me to do it for them. They have learned to give and to love.

    I tell you this because your family will learn the same things. Just keep doing what you have to do to survive, and things will fall into place and be okay. I love you my friend. Hang in there!

    Surviving chronic pain one day at a time, praying for a reprieve because living another 40 years like this doesn't sound too fun!
  • RangerRRanger on da rangePosts: 805
    Hi Miki,
    You have been here for so many of us, you have no idea what a positive impact you have made on so many lives. You truly are a leader, a survivor, and I have no doubt your strength will prevail.
    My thoughts will be with you and your family Miki. And as you have always been here for us, please PM me anytime you need to talk, vent, whatever.

    (Ben's wingman forever)
  • LizLiz Posts: 7,832
    Hi Miki

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Liz xxx TC

    Liz, Spine-health Moderator

    Spinal stenosis since 1995
    Lumber decompression surgery S1 L5-L3[1996]
    Cervical stenosis, so far avoided surgery
  • You are the most selfless individual I have ever met. It's okay to lean on others from time to time. I know you are as stubborn as your wonderful dad is, but I also know you inherited his heart. Thanks for sharing your pain with the rest of us so that we can help carry some of the load for you. We may not be able to take it all away, but we can be here to hold you up when you need a steady hand and strong shoulder.

    Talk to you soon,

  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,875
    Miki, please at this time, you need to be yourself and your family as top priority. There is where all your energy needs to be focused.
    There isnt a person on this site that has not been touched by you once twice or more. You have always been giving, so selfless and you think about everyone else before giving yourself much thought.
    You are a warm compassionate loving person, that comes loud and clear when you post here, when you speak about Chuck, your children and the rest of your immediate family.
    Miki always know that I am always there for you. Pick up the phone and your Online PapaRon is there.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • No apologies Miki! You've been wonderful and supportive to all. Praying for you...
    Faith M
  • all so much for all that you have written here!!!! I will get through all of this like I always do....I have some truly wonderful examples to follow , examples not only in my family but also in my friends and in some of the stories that I read here.

    Cindy , my Dad still has his cancer but he is fighting and fighting strong....too stubborn to let it beat him...I love that I take after him like that!!!

    Jean and Lulu , thank you..it sure is nice that we have a place where we can come where what we feel and what we are going through is understood by others.

    Mrs. P and Doof , I know where to find you two and I will try to not be such a stranger.....thanks to you two. Thank you to you too Liz and Faith!!!

    Ben , you are such a sweetie....thank you so much!!!!

    C , hmmmm....where do I start with you....my friend , alot of the reason that I chose to post this thread was because of what you have told me and gotten onto me about in the past...lol.....you know about dropping off the radar and shutting down. I can say that I do feel better now that I have posted. You have always been such a close friend to me....can't wait till you are state side again so that we can figure out a way to go see each other....I have missed you!!!!

    Papa , my Papa...you know that I love you and I know that you are just a phone call away. I will be just fine , no matter what!!!!! I have been through lot of battles in my life and I have the scars to prove it but each time I came through to the other side , I was stronger than I was before!!!! And this time will be no different!!!!

    Thank you all again.......much love....take care....Miki

  • We do. We miss you as much as you might miss us. We are here for YOU now Miki. You've been here for us so many times we would never let you down. Any time you need a place to come talk to friends we will be right here waiting. All my love, hugs and warmest wishes for you as you go through this difficult time.
  • Miki...I just want you to know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers... I have a very strong faith, and i know you do too...I will be praying really really hard for your healing miki.nothing is impossible to god....NOTHING.
  • Miki,
    If there's anyone I can think of that has no reason to say they're sorry, I believe you may be at the top of the list! It is now our chance to repay you for all you've done for each of us! Take care of yourself & family first, we'll still be here!

    And as you told me, call or PM any time! :)
  • Your post so touched me that I'm not sure I have any words except to say that you, my friend, are a shining star. Like "C" said, you are the most selfless person I know, and my heart is with you. No apologies necessary - take care of yourself and let your family, both here and at home, take care of you.

    You are one special lady and anybody you meet would know that from your first words.

    Your friend,
  • I don't know you but I feel a connection from reading your posts the past several months. I have enjoyed reading your posts. The support, genuine love and advice you share with everyone shows you are a very kind, caring friend to all.

    I will be thinking of you daily and praying that you find the strength to overcome whatever it is you that are facing now. I hope you continue to check in for the support that you deserve. As the saying goes: What goes around, come around....It is your turn to recieve the caring, concern, and support you have given others.

  • I hope you find the strength in God to help your Dad through this and enjoy precious time with your family. Thanks for keeping us updated about your family and I will say a prayer for you and your Dad. God bless and watch over you and yours. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • You know that you have a lifelong friend here no matter what you need. I remember your absolute kindness in my early days and your ability to calm me down when nothing else would. I'll pray that things get better for you each and every day.

    We have all leaned on you and now it's your turn. Lean on us, we're all here for YOU and you deserve it.

    Hugs and good wishes,
  • Miki,
    Sometimes life is just full of obstacles that just keep mounding up. Through all the obstacles that you have been hurdling, you have always managed to give others support and help them. I do hope that during this time in your life you know that we all are here for a shoulder to lean on or anything that you need. You have a very full plate and anything i can ever do don't hesitate to call on me. I will say a prayer for you and your dad in this time of need and may you both conquer this dreaded disease and have this behind you.
  • Miki there are the low valleys and the high mountains in life. It is quite a journey that each and everyone us face on a daily basis. We all seem to manage to make it over the bumps in the road. Thinking of you with love and lifting you and your family up with prayer.

    Many Blessings to you Miki,

  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,875
    and warmth towards Miki. She is one special person.
    I have been so fortunate to be able to work with her side by side in the roles of Spine-Health moderators. I can not even begin to tell you the times that it was her compassion and understand that helped the rest of us make the right call.
    Miki has such a great gift in being able to size up situations and understand the 'people' side of items.
    Not every thing in life is black and white, there are so many grey areas. I really believe that was one of many things that separated Miki from the rest
    I know that personally, her loyalty and love towards my family and myself is really very special
    I have to say that I have not met a person that is so kind. I am a much richer person since I met Miki. And I feel so good inside that she started our relationship as PapaRon and my Daughter Miki.

    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,732
    Your a shining star!
    Good luck, Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • hey girly!!!
    i just cant get you out off my head and i know doofie feels the same way.........so.......i was just thinking you fancy getting one off those coffee morning going with the girls again?????
    its long over due and you know we kept talking about it and doing nothing!!!
    so leave me a note if you fancy it and ill do the rest.
    love you loads....you a special friend.

    LOVE P
  • are the best , truly you are!!!!!! I knew that SH was full of loving , kind and compassionate members and through all of the posts , PMs , e-mails and calls , I have been proven right!!!!!! I can never put into words what your support has meant to me and I can never repay the love and kindness that you all have shown me but I will be forever grateful....thank you , thank you , thank you.....a million times , thank you!!!!!!!!!

    Mrs. P. , a coffee morning sounds heavenly to me!!!! Please PM me the details or you could even post them here so if anyone else wants to join in then they can.

    Thank you all once again for the love you have given me , it is my strength when my own well has run dry......my love to you all.....Miki
  • And sometime I wish you were sitting on my lap. Just kidding! ;)

    You were one of the first people who immediately gave me selfless time and attention, from emails to IMs, when I first showed up at SH 3 years ago. You listened patiently to my tirades against the medical profession and spinal surgery in general, all of which I condemned due to my poor pain outcome. Through it all, you gave me hope and you conducted yourself with dignity and class.

    Ironically, for all my bitterness, I am over the top and live life fully. But here you are now facing more and more challenges, yet you always maintain the same courage, faith, and class through it all. And how am I not to condemn the gods of reality for fating good people this way? It just kills me that it has to be this way, where good people like you seem to disproportionately face obstacles.

    If you ever feel like talking or chatting, email me or IM me. I also can send you my cell phone for a live chat, which always seems to help when fellow spinal sufferers exchange thoughts. I am 1000% in your corner, praying for you, wishing the best for you, just like I do for all spinal sufferers...in this life or the next. But that being said, we still have this life. And in this life, we are all with you.

    God bless you and your family. Thank you so much for having made a difference in my life. Even though we never met in person, our exchanges did much to keep my fight alive when I was at my worst. You made a difference.

    Cheers, Mate
  • Miki -

    I just dropped in last night to see if any of the old posters (well not old, just from the old site) were around. I saw your thread. Whatever is going on, I wish you the very best as you work through it. You made my first months here so easy as you reached out with genuine care and concern. Let others do that for you now. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.


    p.s. I'm glad to hear that your Dad is hanging in there. I have wondered about the 2 of you often.
  • Mate , I mean really wow..lol....I never knew that our chats in the beginning had any effect but it truly warms my heart to know that they did. All I have ever wanted to do on SH was to help people that were\are suffering...my heart breaks for people in need , people who are hurting whether it is physical , mental or emotional...if I can ever help anyone then it makes me feel better....puts me in a better place. I guess you could say that being a member of SH is my therapy to myself....it really gets me through....the people , my friends , really get me through. Thank you very much Mate...

    Terri , I must echo a lot of what I said to Mate to you...I didn't realize that I had done anything in just talking with you. I remember when you came and I am glad that you have stayed because I know that you are a help to many others now...whether here at SH or in your day to day life. Thank you to you also....you two are the best and I feel very loved and special because of your posts....take care and live your lives to the absolute fullest....Miki
Sign In or Register to comment.