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Why are YOU frustrated?

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,671
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:32 AM in Depression and Coping
What are YOU frustrated by? I've been keeping a log of my frustrations, among other things, for a long time, and being as I just added about 10 to my list, I thought of everyone here. It helps me a lot to write it all down - out of my head onto the paper - and I thought it might help others as well.

So, let it all out. No need to comment on other posts, unless you want to, but just get it out, maybe it will help you cope.


(I realized that the topic name sounded like it was just "kat bitching again" so I changed it.)



  • …I am frustrated that I have a hard time talking to my doctors.
    …I’m frustrated that when I tell a doctor everything that’s going on, I get the feeling they believe I’m not being truthful, or that I’m just complaining.
    …I’m frustrated that when I DO ask a question, I still go away feeling as though I’m missing something, that I’ve not been given the cause for my ails, that the doctor is not looking at or seeing the WHOLE PICTURE.
    …I’m frustrated that when I tell the surgeon something that I think is connected to my surgery or back or neck, that the office asks if I’ve talked to my PCP or PM, then I tell the same thing to my PCP or PM, and it’s ignored, and I can’t get an answer.
    …I’m frustrated that I feel I’m getting the runaround.
    …I’m frustrated that my surgeon won’t explain to me why my neck hurts, that he only looked at the findings of my CT/Myelo on my neck and not the actual pictures.
    …I’m frustrated that my surgeon won’t give me a straight answer about the “hole” around the cage at my fusion site.
    …I’m frustrated that the doctors won’t explain the numbness next to my knees and on my left hip.
    …I’m frustrated that now it’s expected to take at least 2 years for me to fuse.
    …I’m frustrated that we finally stumbled on a medication that worked, only to find I can’t take it because of reactions.
    …I’m frustrated that my surgeon told me this same medication wouldn’t work several months ago. (he was wrong)
    …I’m frustrated that I’m feeling the hospital ER may be the only place that I can go to that might give me the answers I need because they were actually willing to do tests until they were completely satisfied that I was OK.
    ..I’m frustrated that my pm doesn’t remember from one appointment to the next what he’s suggested or told me to do (through his nurse) in between appointments.
    …I’m frustrated that my PM wants ME to choose what to do, when I know if I choose narcotics (which at this point may be the only option left), he will most likely think I’m seeking.
    …I’m frustrated that they refuse to try steroid injections for the same reason my surgeon used regarding neurontin: it won’t work. (they were wrong about one, why not the other?) …I’m frustrated that I can’t take Ibuprofen anymore, as my body is telling me that I have inflammation, but the doctors are telling me I don’t.
    …I’m frustrated that the only people that understand my frustrations have the same frustrations as I do.

  • THAT doesn't frustrate me! Makes me LOL!! What a stitch! (no pun intended!)
    I "get" this Kat, you are NOT whining or complaining! We ALL have daily frustrations now that we have these limits...no need to think you're weird or.... Our spines (or what's left of them!) rule our lives now.

    A few frustrations: trying to cut my toenails or REALLY shave my legs (always miss the SAME PLACES!!)

    Getting up in the middle of the night & noticing you can't move quickly..duh! Trip over the cat, wake spouse etc. when you just wanted to well, "get up".. Then the legs won't co-operate when you DO return to bed...then re-arrange all the pillows so you can get comfy again, then remember you left the b.room light on & have to GET UP AGAIN....!

    Waiting for the new movie to finaly come to town, make arrangements to meet some pals (big list of stuff you need to do to get ready & everything takes twice as long) Remember the purse, money & car keys but when you get there you DON"T have your sciatica seat -pad & end up standing thru most of the movie & having the usher ask "Can I find you a seat" 100'xs...

    Looking 1/2 decent (make up on, nice comfy clothes that don't rub on your incision area) & having people who haven't seen you in awhile say "Oh, I heard you had some (SOME!!) surgery..hey, you look terriffic! You must feel great!" Not! But then you smile & nod & just say "Oh, I love your necklace--where DID you find it?" & totally ignore their initial comment b/c you just couldn't possibley explain to a non-spiney how much pain you're still in & hey, you DO look terrific in spite of it! :)

    I could think of 300 others, but I'll read others' posts, I hope! This is a wonderful thread, only understandable to those of us spine people who manage to live our lives ANYWAY...99.9% of the general population has NO idea. And I sure hope they never will!

    Great topic, Kat! And again, I love the "I can't brain today..." Seems that since all this back stuff started, I can't "brain" much anymore! Hope you're doing OK tonight! You're only 6 months out...go slow!

  • I'm frustrated that the facet joint injections have helped me and the 2 PM Drs I've seen don't do RF which may help me. I'm frustrated because I have to go back across town to my Drs because I have to fill a form for another MRI and I just went Friday. The subway ride is rough for an hour. I'm also going to a cousin's bridal shower and don't think I'll be able to sit through it because of the pain and I'm too broke to even give any $ money gift they need for their fantstic honeymoon. That's about it for now that my frustrations are. except that I have to wait until Oct. 6 for a NeuroSurgeon appt. Also that I'll lose my job in February if I'm not better by then. Cheers and hope for the best for the future. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Charry, I am quite sorry to hear what you've gone through.

    I notice in your various treatments you've listed, that chiropractic is absent. How come?

    If you are not a surgical candidate, there are many techniques in chiropractic that may help you. I myself have lived with a ruptured L4/5 for over 17 years now with no need for surgery under chiropractic care.

    Good luck.
  • I hate being frustrated, and as hard as I try not to get so, sometimes I just can't help it, so here goes, I hope it works!!!
    - In the likeness of Lakeside, footcare, as in cutting and painting toenails, and shaving, but my armpits!! I haven't been able to see what I've been doing for a couple of years now, and always end up missing something!!
    - All the bad drivers in the city I moved to a year ago... I've been sideswiped and rear-ended in a matter of months...
    - The fact that I can't get promoted, because I can't do the physical fitness test required to do so...
    - Waiting for my medical release from the military to go through... and could still be waiting for up to a couple of years, so can't move on with my life and future dreams
    - My headaches prevent me from studying so many nights, which is putting me back on getting my diploma for above mentioned future dreams...

    I have my dreams and plans and know where I want to go, but I'm at a standstill, and don't know for how long!! That is soooooo frustrating for me....

    Whew #:S you're right, I do feel a little better, thanks Kat!!!
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
  • I'm frustrated that no matter what test or procedure I go through the results are the same: everything looks normal; that the docs cannot find what is causing this stupid non-stop pain.

    I'm frustrated that I've progressed to the point where my only recourse is to "taste the rainbow" (to steal a line from the Skittles commercials) of meds. Which make me slow and stupid.

    Along the same lines, I'm frustrated that the first words out of my doctor's mouth anymore is "let me prescribe another medication."

    I'm frustrated that I can't do half the things I used to do -- like walk more than a block.

    I'm frustrated I can't do other things I used to do -- like be a firefighter.

    On the other side of the coin, I'm thankful that my family hasn't got tired of hearing me complain about this.

    I'm thankful that my docs aren't giving up on me -- just the opposite, in fact, they've committed to being there for the long haul.

    Saving the best for last: I am thankful for Spine-Health and all of its members.
  • well, i see some really good reasons to be frustrated here on the many posts. :? i guess i follow along the same lines. i am frustrated i have an illness on top of my back and hip problems. :''( i am frustrated i was going to get married on the 9th of July and that is off!! ~X( i am frustrated i am losing what ability i had to get around and get out and about!! ~X( i am really frustrated to be getting older!! :''( i guess i could go on and on but that will do for now! LOL! i am glad all of you felt comfortable enough to post your frustrations. ~X( we all need to do that sometime!! :D L, Jenny :)
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,865
    I think that my list of frustrations may differ from others here only because I've been through most of the frustrations that others are experiencing now. Guess it comes with the territory of living this chronic pain life for over 30 years.

    Today, I think that my major frustration is that every time I seem to be heading on the right track to really gain so much back I run into a stone wall.
    Most recently it was the problem with my ACL in my knee, which then because of the limp through off my neck , lower back etc. Just another set back.
    But this seems to happen every few months. Discussing this with my massage person and my physiatrist they just believe that over the years my total body really never got reconditioned. Some parts did, but a muscle there, a muscle here didnt which caused another problem, which just snowballed the whole thing.

    Thats my frustration. I want to climb that hill to get over the peak and for some reason there has always been something there to prevent me from finding that oasis.

    But overall it is still a minor frustration in my life. And compared to some of the things you guys face daily, I am lucky person
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,865
    About 95% of the members here, and many doctors and chiropractors will tell you that once you have an injured disc or other spinal related problem, getting treated by a chiropractic can be very dangerous. It can result in more damage to your spine. Most chiropractors are not trained or refined in the spinal column revolving nerves and discs. Most chiropractors will tell you that themselves.
    When any member has ask the question about seeing a chiropractor we have as a group told them it was not a good idea.

    If you have had good luck with one, thats fine, but by no means do we want to promote that idea.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Because I can't see the possibility I may be OK for a while.

    I'm frustrated that My T-spine knots up and hurts every time I try to do even minor things. I talk to my PM and he just shrugs as he was not working on "that"!
    Talk to my PCP and he suggests antiinflammatories and they don't work. He asks if it is a "new pain", NO! It was just not that bad when I was on pain meds! ARG!

    I'm frustrated that I can't even talk him into an MRI now! None allowed, not sure I would let anyone do anything anyway!

    I'm frustrated that at 48 I see retired people and want to be one. Sitting and staring at things from my recliner as it is comfy, WTF is up with that? Why do I want to skip the next 20 years? That is just STUPID! I guess pain and surgery screwed up my perception of things.

    I'm frustrated that 2/3 of the posts I try to make anymore I just reread and think, "that is stupid" and delete it.

    So, sorry if this one does not make a lot of sense. I don't dare reread it or I'll delete it too!

  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,865
    do make a lot of sense. I can always tell when you are having a so so day, a rotten day or a normal day.
    Your wants and desires mirror want so many people here wish for.
    Keep on plugging away, you may not be able to run a 3 minute mile later on in life but I do really hope you will be able to enjoy many of the things I've enjoyed in the past 10-15 years with major spinal problems and with some at bay.
    Never delete what you write.... My 3rd grade grammar school teacher always told us, Never change your original answer, stick with it
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • I am frustrated that *some* people, don't understand how tough it is dealing with chronic pain every second of every day. Just because I can't do the same things I used to doesn't mean I'm depressed, lazy, suicidal, rude, etc.

    I'm frustrated that these same people refuse to recognize that I push myself everyday so that I can live a semi-normal life and criticize me instead.

    I'm frustrated that even though I have numerous MRIs, CT scans, etc to prove that my pain is legitimate, people, including my ex-orthopedic surgeon have told me that I'm only in pain because my mom died 7 years ago and if I take anti-depressants or go to a psychologist I will be cured. (I have tried both, why is the pain still here? :p)

    I'm frustrated that taking pain killers prescribed by a doctor and taken responsibly still gets me an hour long speech from every family member that asks me how I'm feeling.

    And lastly, for now at least, I'm frustrated that everyone that has ever had a minor backache or pulled muscle, but knows nothing about chronic pain, spinal anatomy or the extent of my condition tries to give me their miracle cure. I do not want to go see your chiropractor, I will not read 87546 books about the pain just being in my head, and I can't afford and do not want to try spinal decompression.

    Thanks for letting me vent :)
    Great topic, Kat.
  • I'm now frustrated that my PM says that my manic reaction to effexor is almost diagnostic that I am bipolar... what next?
  • I'm frustrated because I'm living out my days in my bed because it hurts to do anything.

    I'm frustrated that everyday my mind is wasting away because of watching too much tv.

    I'm frustrated because I had to give up cooking recipes and we stick to very simple meals IF I cook.

    I'm frustrated that I won't pay off all my back related medical bills in this lifetime.

    I'm frustrated at the sky high cost of medical and prescription drug costs.

    I'm frustrated to hell that I let myself go and I don't look like I used to.

    I'm frustrated that I am limited to certain places I can go because of my disability.

    Most of all I'm frustrated that not once in the last 3 years since all this mess started that I have had not ONE pain free moment (no matter what I take).
  • Yeah! What she said..! Very astute, I couldn't have put it better myself, this covers just about all of it for me.


    And lastly, for now at least, I'm frustrated that everyone that has ever had a minor backache or pulled muscle, but knows nothing about chronic pain, spinal anatomy or the extent of my condition tries to give me their miracle cure. I do not want to go see your chiropractor, I will not read 87546 books about the pain just being in my head, and I can't afford and do not want to try spinal decompression.

    Thanks for letting me vent :)
    Great topic, Kat.
  • All of my frustrations stem from the fact that my other, very active and happy physical life was taken so prematurely from me by the carelessness of others. Every day I have anger and no matter how much I try to let it go I simply can't. That anger is the reason that I've had such a hard time with acceptance and keeps me from moving forward in any real capacity. I guess the main reason is that with the physical loss comes the emotional loss as well; nobody warned me about that.

    I now know that I'm destined to live a lifetime with chronic pain. I'm not okay with it. It's with me every minute of every day (and night, apparently). I think I far surpass frustration....LOL. I'm trying and continue to try and I think that has to count for something :)

  • Kat, what a great topic - here goes: @)

    - I'm frustrated that I don't know when or if I'll ever be able to hold a job again
    - I'm frustrated that from day to day I don't know what pain level I'll have or what area of my body will hurt
    - I'm frustrated because even though I'm not a surgery candidate none of the doctors I've seen have explained to me why I'm in pain (especially if it's not showing on the MRI)
    - I'm frustrated because my sister (who I love dearly and is the best person I know) has trouble understanding that I can't make the drive from Orlando to Houston because I don't know how long I can drive without developing excruciating pain.
    - I'm frustrated because mornings used to be my favorite part of the day and now I dread them because it takes so long to go from feeling like poopie to human.
    - I'm frustrated because every time I go for a period of days feeling pretty human or start to do everyday activities, I get slammed back down to earth with a flare up of pain or fatigue.
    - I'm frustrated because I need a VACATION from the past year and can't spend the money to take even a little one since I lost my job but don't qualify for disability ~X( .
    - I'm frustrated that I can't financially take care of myself.
    - I'm frustrated because I miss my old life.
    - BUT, I'm blessed because I have all of you wonderful people in my life now.

    Love you all,

  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    Plus...oh, what's the use? Maybe just one...I'm frustrated that I'm as tired when I get up as I am when I go to bed.
  • because each day i wake up i seem to be worse. i'd like to have a few days where i don't get worse
  • because every time I get one thing wrong with me fixed, something else shows up. I have had 8 surgeries in the last 2 years and now have 4 more, and thats not counting any more back problems.

    I am frustrated because yesterday was my only grandchilds first birthday and I cant even play with her like I should be,

    I am frustrated because I have always worked and had my own fun money, and now I am lucky to have any money,

    I am frustrated because I am such a burden on my family. I have to have help to do most things.

    I am frustrated because I thought that by now my fusion would be pretty well healed and I would be off my pain meds.

    I am frustrated because I can't even have a glass of wine with the meds I am on.

    I am frustraed because now I have an unknown tumor in my bone in my head.

    I am frustrated that I cant live even a half way normal life with my husband.

    I am frustrated that people look at me weird when I use handicap parking or handicap motor chairs in stores.

    I am frustrated that I cant have just one day when i wake up and feel great and not tired and hurting.

    But I am thankful for all my blessings..my family, friends, pmy snuggly dogs, sunshine and the rain and ALL MY GREAT FRIENDS HERE!!!! >:D< :H
  • I'm frustrated b/c it has been a year and a half and I still get so stiff and achy at night, or when it's cold, or when I exercise too much. I resent that I sometimes feel slowed down and limited despite the main problem being fixed.
  • I'm frustrated because I'm almost sure the doctor will never let me play my favorite sport again, and my coach doesn't seem to care. And at the fact that my friends all decide upon seeing me in my beautiful brace that they now need to tell me what they would and wouldn't do in my position. They have no clue. I'm scared that my back won't heal and I'll either have to get surgery, or spend the rest of my life in worse pain. I'm frustrated because these problems seem to mean so much, when compared to so many people (and many on this forum) they're so minor. I'm scared about what the rest of my school will say when I turn up after summer in a back brace. I'm frustrated because they'll see me in said brace longer because I was in the wrong brace to begin with. I'm frustrated that i haven't been able to sleep. And I'm frustrated that it really seems like I'm too young (15) to be dealing with this, though I know millions have before.

    Whyme, you are officially my hero for coming up with this!
  • And because I can't erase the duplicate posts... :??
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