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Having a really bad day.......

Amanda S YanisAAmanda S Yanis Posts: 124
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:32 AM in Depression and Coping
I'm sitting here in tears and I don't really know why. I hurt so bad today, I can't even walk straight. My pain pills do not work at all. I'm just at a loss as to what to do next. I first saw a neurologist back in February, he referred me to a pain management center to have an epidural injection done. I was told that I was to still be under the care of the neurologist, that the pain center was just to do my injection. Well I had the injection, it didn't work, then I lost my insurance. I get it back next week finally, and I'm just not sure what to do next. Who should I make an appt. with? My family doctor took me off work already, but said from now on I need to see one of the other doctors for anything related to my back. I don't want another injection, I don't think. But the pain center did say before the first one that they were guessing on where the pain came from so if the first one didnt' work, they would know where to put the second one. I just don't know anymore.

I have three kids I'm trying to take care of, and I honestly feel like the worst mom in the world. My middle son has therapy for his Autism three days a week and I don't know if I'm gonna be able to continue to get him there. I'ts only a 20 min. drive, but it about kills me.

I feel like all I do anymroe is complain and scream about things. My house is a wreck. The laundry is piled up. I did finally get to the grocery store last week, so we have food, I just can't stand long enough to cook anything. I feel like I shouldn't ask my husband for help, because he works all day and shouldn't have to come home and clean and cook, when I've been home all day. And appearently he feels the same way.

I can't even keep up with bills and paperwork anymore. I get so overwhelmed when I sit at my desk, that instead of doing the stuff I need to be doing, I get on myspace and play games all day.

I've filed for food stamps, and SSDI, but I know I won't qualify for either one. I regret even filing because now I have so much more paperwork to worry about.

I'm just having a really bad day, and really needed to vent.


  • I'm so sorry you are having such a bad day, sending you some hugs and prayers, hope they help. >:D< O:)
  • hi i'm pete and am also a person in pain...you certainly have plenty of reasons to be upset. i wish i could send an assistant right over there to pitch in.
    i have a few suggestions.
    i would talk with your husband and explain to him that you do need all the help you can get in the evening. I can hear you admit that you don't want to bother him because he's been working all day. he has to know how bad off you are. don't push yourself so much.there is only so much you can do. one of the best painkillers are the 3 words ASK FOR HELP. can your oldest child help. it would be a good experience for him to lend a hand. are there any friends or relatives who might help. even for just a half hour a day.
    rest in between your tasks so you will be able to complete your work. find the position that gives you the most comfort and get into that position every hour to rest from the pain. rest as much as you can then proceed to do what needs to be done.
    slow down. relax. no need to do the tasks quickly. pace yourself.
    give the injections another try. the new location might do the trick.
    the results of your scan don't seem to show anything real serious. hopefully you will improve.
    if you can pick up a used wheelchair that might take some of the pain out of your legs. alternate between sitting and standing. when i was in pain i considered the wheelchair my best friend.
    maybe it would be helpful to go about your work saying to yourself...EASY DOES IT....EASY DOES IT...
    keep repeating those words.
    and keep us posted. come to this web site again and there will be plenty of people here that will boost your spirits
    tomorrow will be better...
  • You can also ask for injections in all the locations of your MRI. As has been said, take it easy 7 slow, try using a heating pad when you sit - recline if you can and definately ask your husband for help and understanding.

    When you do have a few moments of 'less pain' and want to tackle some housework, just go slow and do a bit at a time. When i do dishes i have to take breaks because it does hurt like hell to stand still.

    If your hubby has a hard time understanding how you feel, ask him to post some questions here, we understand that spouses & family members go through this too as 'newbie' caregivers!
  • Amanda I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain. Are you on any type of pain med or muscle relaxer or anti-inflammatory medication? If you are and you are in pain, I would get an appointment with your PM (assuming they wrote the RX or will be the ones handling meds) and see them as soon as your insurance starts.

    With the insurance kicking in soon, you will have coverage that will help you see doctors and determine treatment options.

    I have two kids, 6 and 4 years old, as well. Instead of yelling, I have given them chores that they can do and help me too. They earn $2 per week each.

    As for your husband, he should be helping you out. My husband was working 7 days a week, going to college (online) full time, and helping me. I cannot do things now because of my back. Marriage is for better or worse, in sickness or in health.... That's a two way street. If it was him in pain and unable to do things, we would be doing it for them.

    To keep me from getting overwhelmed and letting everything fall apart here, I make a list of what I can do (and it's not much) and choose a day that I will do it. If I can't do it that day, it's no big deal; I just do it when I can. I like organization and having a plan. Even if it's only doing one thing a day that takes 20 minutes.

    So sorry that you are having a rough time. Hope things get better soon. And sorry this is so long. We're kind of in the same boat. (My son is ADHD. And we know several children with Autism. That alone is a lot to deal with.)

    Hugs and prayers. Beth
  • Thanks for the replies guys. I think what is really getting to me the most is that I know there is nothing really bad wrong with my back. I shouldn't be hurting this bad. I feel like a huge baby. I'm told over and over again that what I have is not a big deal. So why do I think I hurt too bad to get things accomplished? My mom has always made things up like sickenesses to get people to feel sorry for her. Just last month she has psorosis of the liver, and was gonna die. I went with her to the next doctor appt. and that was not quite true. I don't want to be like her, but I feel like I am being. But I know I hurt, I know I'm really in this pain. Could I be that screwed up in the head to be imagining all this? Every time I post on here, someone tells me my MRI results show that I should be okay, it's not too bad, etc. I think I'm slowly going crazy!
  • You have every right to feel upset, it's your body, not theirs, they don't have any clue what a "big deal" is for anyone besides themselves. Sometimes I wonder if doctors start out saying that to every patient over and over, maybe hoping the patient will leave them alone, until the patient has finally had enough and finds someone that will listen.

    And truthfully, doctors are NOT all-knowing. Many times I wonder if they pay attention at all. My doctors have prescribed things for me in the past that CAUSE things that I already have a problem with! (IBS, HBP), it makes you wonder, doesn't it?

    Hopefully though, some day they will finally at least get a clue that not all patients that are complaining about things are "just" complaining...
  • I think you have every right to feel frustrated. I had bad back pain for 2 1/2 years before they finally discovered 3 torn discs. They were two with major tears and one that wasnt all the way torn through. I would ask your nuero about a dicogram. It will pinpoint the discs or diwsc giving the pain. Then see what he says. Maybe go to an ortho and get a 2nd opinion. I went to 7 or 8 Drs before I found one that could figure it out. It dont matter if the tear is big or not. My ortho told me a tear is a tear and they can cause alot of pain. PM me if you want to chat. I will try to help. Been there done that and dont want you to have to be there too.
  • I completely agree with Kat and Robin. Every person has a different levels of pain tolerance. That doesn't make your pain any less.

    My surgeon is so confused and clueless that he says unbelievably bizarre things. The PM just keeps throwing pills at me. I went from percocet to extended release morphine. Wasn't prepared for that. I thought there were other meds between perc and morphine to try first.

    I've heard so much bull from medical professionals about how little something should hurt that has left me almost ready to pass out from pain. You know your pain. Don't let anyone tell you that it's not that bad.

    >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D<
  • your last comments focused on your state of mind. stress and frustration play a big roll in how you handle pain. eliminating stress{ LOL} is a key part of any pain clinic or class in pain mgt.
    can you take a bit of time for yourself
    a bit of coffee with a friend
    take a stretching class
    go to the pool
    meditate a bit
    in the past what made you feel most relaxed?
    pete :? :? :?
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