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15, had a major operation on lumber spine..feeling deeply unhappy

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,671
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:33 AM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery
I'm 15 and 3 weeks ago I had a major operation on my spine, they've made the bottom bit of my spine artificial and there's a metal frame on it too.
I don't mind the scar/wound/stitches, but I keep having funny moments. I'll catch sight of myself in my long mirror and I'll see it and go into a deep trance staring at it, I'll gently stroke my hand down it and my head goes weird and I get all these thoughts and wonder why it's there and have to really think hard about what happened. I wonder if it's mine, I wonder if I really did have an operation etc.

I keep going extremely off.

And I keep getting extremely upset as I want to know why I'm so different and why I had to have it done, I'm not going to get better for a very long time yet, might not do and I'm scared. Help.


  • Talk to someone about this. You've had a pretty traumatic experience. It would be perfectly normal to feel a little confused about the whole thing.

    There are a lot of us here who do the things you do and wonder how we got here. I'm 48 and I don't feel nearly old enough to be walking around with a battery and wiring implanted in me and a titanium cap in my shoulder. I don't think we ever feel old enough to believe we "should" be this way.

    You are not that different, there are many people out here/there that have gone through this. You have just not met them yet!

    Hang in there, and please know it does getter better as time passes. Please know also it is OK to talk to people about your feelings, it really does help.
  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    :H Wrambler gave you some good advice. You aren't different and there's nothing wrong with you. Are you taking pain medication still? It can sometimes cause you to feel strangely and kind of disconnected. It does me anyway. I haven't had any surgery like you had but I do know it's major surgery and will just take time to heal. I also know how easy it is to become depressed while you're unable to do the things you normally do. Especially at your age and in the summertime too. Don't keep your feelings bottled up inside because it makes you feel so much better when you have someone to talk to. There are many here who've been through similar surgeries and I know they'll be happy to share their experiences.
    I hope you're feeling better soon. >:D<
  • Bekkiboo,

    They are right on. Your going to have those feelings just like we all do. I have had 2 surgeries,
    one at 33yrs. old and next was at 38yrs. old.
    I often wonder why I was chosen to be different and how will I do in the future? You have to stay positive and find things you can do to keep your mind working. You will improve and begin to become comfortable with whats back there and eventually you won't even notice it.
    Stay positive, having to deal with a 4yr. old for me keeps me going. I still have dull aches but I can live with that. The best part that I can function well on my own and thats what matters the most.

    Good Luck and keep looking up !!!!

  • When I was 16 I was diagnosed with a major thyroid problem. Never had any major health problems till then. I starting going to see all these doctors and was told I would need major surgery. I started off by going once a wwek for blood wok. I was afarid of needless till I was going for bloodwork every week for six months. I am no longer afarid of needles. Starting missing alot of school. Eventually I went on home schooling cause I couldnt get up everyday.
    I spent alot of time woundering why this had happened to me and why was I so sick. No one in my family had this thryoid problem which made me wounder why even more. I did have the major surgery when i was 17. Of that year I had my surgery in march and graducated from high school.

    You will heal, And things will get better. I never figured out why these things happened to me, but what doesnt kill us only makes us a stronger person in the end.
    I am know 27 and still havent figured things out completly. You will. it just takes time.
  • I'm 32 and I even had to go find a psychiatrist because the surgery and recovery have tore me up so much. I don't think it's strange or unusual. I do think it is important to tell your parents and to have them find a professional that you can talk too for a while. Geez I wish I could give you a real hug! (tho it would prolly hurt us both anyway, lol) >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D<

    Surgery 1/7/2009
    1. L3-4 decompression laminectomy and foraminotomy
    2. Left complete L3-4 discectomy with decompression of L4 root.
    3. Posterior lumbar interbody fusion, L3-4 with 10-mm Capstone cage and autograph.
    4. Posterior spinal fusion L3-L5 with iliac bone graph and BMP
    5. Legacy instrumentation, L3 to L5
  • Thank for the advice :) x
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