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In pain, can't sleep, frustrated!!

MomofthreeboysMMomofthreeboys Posts: 73
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:33 AM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery
~X( I so very much want to sleep tonight but the pain and aggrivation are just too much to bear. I've already taken klonopin, ambien, vicodin and still no sleep. I just can;t get over that jerk of a neurologist smiling at me and telling me that I will be like this forever. I know I am a sissy crying like this. Then I spent all afternoon trying to find another doctor for a second opinion and by the time they figured out that they take my workers comp...thier office was closed. Now I have to wait until Monday and start this all over again! I just feel so sad. I want to give up. I know I can't because of my 3 wonderful boys, but if not for them, I would throw in the towel. And do you ever feel like people, doctors included, don't realize how bad your pain really is?? That bothers me alot. Thanks for letting me vent!
Mom to Tony 13, Gavin 9, and Donovan 7
Surgery 1/07/2009:
1. L3-4 decompression laminectomy and foraminotomy
2. Left complete L3-4 discectomy with decompression of L4 root.
3. Posterior lumbar interbody fusion, L3-4 with 10-mm Capstone cage and autograph.
4. Posterior spinal fusion L3-L5 with iliac bone graph and BMP
5. Legacy instrumentation, L3 to L5

Also still in PT 2land 1 aqua every week and also use a TENS unit.


  • hi Cyndi
    Can relate and not all that abnormal. In some cases think it could be for self defense for the doctors, after all their patients will all die eventually. Remember 30 years ago when a doctor got my first Back X-Rays and laughed on the telphone while telling me the xrays are back and can see whay you are having problems!

    Other doctors are great! Sexist comment here but think women doctors generally better (at pretending ??) they care and better communicators (and that is from a male)!
    :? May be a good discussion question? :?

    In terms of being a sissy for crying it could be the drugs (and just blame them if someone does not understand), but even if not sounds valid to me! At lowest point in my life it was my daugher that kept me going as could not teach her that giving up was an option.

    Hopefully drugs will knock you out and get a good sleep.

    Best wishes >:D<
  • I'm so sorry that you're having a rough night. You're offline now- I'm hoping that it means your meds kicked in and you finally got sleepy.

    I just got my complete medical records from ALL my docs and read them. I didn't realize how hard that was going to be. Accepting the "failure" of our bodies is hard but you need to have a supportive doctor behind you to help you through the process. My neurologist is my rock and my cheerleader and when she told me it was time to file for disability I was floored. Both of my surgeons agreed and it's hard not to feel like a failure. I totally know how you feel.

    Get as many opinions as you need to make yourself comfortable with your diagnosis.When you find a doc with some compassion STICK with them! They're hard to come by- I just got very lucky.

    Hang in there lady, I'm pulling for you.
  • hi!! :H sorry you are in such pain. :''( one thing i do is get comfy s possible, turn on the radio or ipod and just really get into the music. (|: it helps for awhile.. try and get some rest!! sleep is what you need!! I) stop by anytime! :D Jenny :)
  • all for responding. I guess I finally found some sleep around 3, then the pain woke me up at 630. Oh, well better than none I guess. I just read my own post and started crying again!I feel so sorry for that person...I don't know what to do with myself,lol.
    Thanks again,

    Surgery 1/7/2009
    1. L3-4 decompression laminectomy and foraminotomy
    2. Left complete L3-4 discectomy with decompression of L4 root.
    3. Posterior lumbar interbody fusion, L3-4 with 10-mm Capstone cage and autograph.
    4. Posterior spinal fusion L3-L5 with iliac bone graph and BMP
    5. Legacy instrumentation, L3 to L5
  • is there a position you can get in that gives you relief
  • >:D< Sending you a hug. You are not a sissy! Just human and hitting your frustration and pain threshold. Think of it this way -- your car won't move without gas in the tank -- with gas, the car is powerful, moves and gets you where you need to go. Well, think of yourself as a car with an empty tank -- all the gas has been sucked out of you by chronic pain, drugs, no sleep and frustration with doctors, etc. SO don't beat yourself up for crying -- you need a release. Surround yourself right now with people in your life who will listen to you and support you. Once you are able to get the pain to a bearable level and get some sleep under you're belt, I think you'll get to feeling a little better about things. Is there someone who can look after the boys for you for a day or two to give you a break so you can rest?

    Anyway, Just trying to give you some support :)

    Sending you comforting thoughts,

  • It's difficult to take the bluntness of a Dr's diagnosis or prognosis. It's normal to feel sad when you're given bad news. Keep looking for another Dr including a PM Dr who may have something to help your pain. Try to take one day at a time and make little goals and meet them daily or do what you can. There may be a solution for you tomorrow. I hope you get your rest and we're thinking well thoughts for you. Take care. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • You are NOT a sissy. Debilitating pain is a really tough thing to deal with and you've probably suffered a lot more than a lot of people could take. I hope you get some help on Monday. These doctors who just grin and tell you that you have no other option just make me sick. You WILL find someone to help you. Most of us eventually did. I remember the day I went in for the results of my discogram. We already had surgery scheduled and I was all set. Then they told me I had too many levels blown and there was nothing they could do for me. WHAT? At 54 years old they were going to let me rot into a pile of jelly? Nuh-uh-uh, sister! We're all here cheering for you 1) to get some good sleep tonight, and 2) to find someone who will help you and eventually relieve your pain. Those little boys need their momma -- not only to be with them for a long, long time, but to see a smile on their momma's face again.

    You'll get there sweety. You're a tough cookie. This is very tough stuff. You'll make it. It will be better once you find someone to help.

    Come on in here and let us know when you're hurting any time. We really understand.

    3 level spinal fusion, L3/4, L4/5, L5/S1, November 2008. Stiff, but I can walk.
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