How am I supposed to let the anger go when a little over a year ago my body could do anything I wanted it too and now I am so very limited?? It's so hard not to be angry at my body when my 7 year old says mommy I wish your back was better so we could play catch. It's hard not to be angry when I don't know if I will ever be a nurse again. heck, its hard not to be angry when its so difficult to make love to my husband. I can't walk more than a few minutes without a cane or walker when I used to hike for hours. I used to love to ride bicycles. I just sold my motorcycle and guess I may never ride again. I am not at peace with any of this. I am only 31. I know this all sounds like self pity and too a point it is but even more I pity my boys. I was whole, then one night with one combative patient, then I wasn't. Just like that our lives changed forever. I know God must have a plan, but I can't even imagine thru all this pain and turmoil what it might be. Can anyone even relate to me??
Mom to Tony 13, Gavin 9, and Donovan 7
1. L3-4 decompression laminectomy and foraminotomy
2. Left complete L3-4 discectomy with decompression of L4 root.
3. Posterior lumbar interbody fusion, L3-4 with 10-mm Capstone cage and autograph.
4. Posterior spinal fusion L3-L5 with iliac bone graph and BMP
5. Legacy instrumentation, L3 to L5
Also still in PT 2land 1 aqua every week and also use a TENS unit.