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Tired of the Pain

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,670
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:33 AM in Degenerative Disc Disease

Im new here and just wanted to vent. I was diagnosed with DDD 5 years ago. I had problems starting about 15 years prior to that. I'm 39 now and in constant pain, somedays are better than others though. When I was first diagnosed I was told that I had arthritis, and the back of a 70 year old man. The doctor recommended that I change jobs. I am a produce Manager and have to do a lot lifting and am on my feet all day. I did not change jobs, and kept on doing what I had always done work through it. Just take some pills and keep going. Now I am on my second doctor and doing much worse. I have misssed a lot of work over the last 2 or 3 years, but this year takes the cake. At present I am on week number 8 of being off. My sick time has now run out, and I have only 2 weeks left of FMLA before my position is taken away and possibly my job. I also missed some time earlier in the year. I have been undergoing PT and have not really found it to be to much help. No one I know seems to really understand a whole lot and friends keep telling me to file for disability. I am feeling so far down right now that I really don't know what to do. I feel worthless and alone, and I am so depressed and stressed out right now that I think I am losing my mind. My own DR. gives me Lortab and tells me that it is an extrememly powerful pain killer. They are so useless for me that I won't even take them. I know that in two weeks I will lose my job that I love. I can't stand, sit, walk, sleep or do much of anything with out being in pain. I have never been this down before. I'm left alone most of the time, other than my wife being around. My friends have ditched me because I can't do anything.

Dignosis: DDD of the Lumbar spine Disc bulges at L2-3, L4-5, and L5-s1 in conjuction with osteophyte. L5-S1 impinges on both S1 Nerve Roots, with more impingement on the left L5-S1 Neural Foramen and the Exiting Left L5 Nerve root. Left Posterior central disc herniation at L2-3 with mild impingement upon Anterior Thecal sac. Also Neural foraminal stenosis at L5-S1. So far both Doctors will not do surgery. I am too young and there is a chance I could come out worse is what I have been told. I plan on a third opinion, but with my job about to be gone I just don't know if I will be able to.

Thanks for listening.



  • Hi Richard,

    Not an issue about letting stuff out. I know for me that part of my problem is trying to slow myself down, to a point where my body stops rebeling.

    Grab a coffee and have a seat if you can. David

  • Richard,

    I am looking for people with severe and chronic back problems with no previous failed surgeries. Read my blog at www.severeandchronicbackproblems.blogspot.com.
  • sorry your situation has gone so bad. your life as it was has taken a turn for the worse. now that you are unable to do your previous job you have to evaluate everything and try to adjust to all these problems.
    the drs dont seem to have a solution via surgery. i guess they have your best interest in mind when they tell you youre too young for surgery.
    so what can you do now?
    it does appear that your old job is just no good for your health. plenty of people have retrained for a different line of work.
    as far as your back is concerned i like your idea of getting another opinion from a spinal surgeon. dont give up. try to find one who has a solution.
    also try to find a good pain mgt. dr. he has a lot of tools in his bag besides meds. a combination of different treatments may help.
    with good pain mgt. and the job thats killed your spine in the past maybe your spine will get a rest and feel better.
    another thing to hope for is new treatment methods. technology will bring new methods to salvage your spine. keep reading here at spine health. a solution for you may be forthcoming.
    please hang in there. dont throw in the towel. here at spine health youll read of how people in your position have survived.
    i m glad to have met you and i do have hope your situation will improve.

  • I too am new to site and posted under a ongoing pain forum posts the other night. I too have been feeling lower than whale stuff.Even though I am new on the site I am not new to the chronic pain problems.I won't bore you with the details but just know that I relate to every point you made from pain to fear of job change.But, the good news is that there are good Drs.that can get you SOME relief.You have to do your homework take charge. Just by both of us starting here is the best thing we can do. Joining the group of men and women that understand and can know what we are going through.I am happy to personally PM with you and we can get through this rough patch.sharon
  • :H Thanks to Pete for offering you sound advice.

    I just lost my job in May under very similar circumstances that you are experiencing now. A job I loved, my dream job (at 54 years old). I can relate so much to the despair, frustration, stress, pain, freaking out state and worthless feelings that you are in now. I tried so hard to hang in there at my job but the pain got the best of me. What I can tell you is that you will get through this bad patch. Once I lost my job, my stress level went down (from worrying about losing the job) and after several weeks of recuperation from the stress, I think my pain meds had a chance to work better because I wasn't worried about my job anymore. I am not a surgery candidate and have been in chronic pain since October of last year (sciatic pain left leg).

    As far as feeling depressed and alone :( , you've found a great community of caring, understanding people who've been down this very, rocky road that you're traveling SO you have a place to feel safe getting your feelings out any time.

    I agree with Pete that you need a good pain management doctor. Have you been referred to one since you're not a surgery candidate? At least while you're looking for another spine doc, you could try to get the pain under control.

    Another thing regarding picking up Cobra insurance, Obama signed a bill that allows your cobra insurance premiums to be cut by 50% to 65% (sorry can't remember the exact %)for nince months after you lose your job. The form will come to you in the mail, you fill it out, send it to your employer, the employer signs it and sends it to the insurance carrier. I'm waiting for my re-figured insurance premium to come from my health provider. I hope this info helps ease your mind a little bit about retaining your health insurance coverage.

    I'm sure someone else will post with more advice.

    Take care and sending healing thoughts your way,


  • Thanks everyone! It's good to hear from those that understand what you are feeling. Right now the situation with the pain is not good, and I know that by me being depressed and having anxiety is not helping but possibly making it worse. Maybe I should just resign from my job so that stress is gone, and then take the next year and try to see it i can get myself in better shape and try some other treatments. It's just that so far in the recent years nothing has really worked that well. Now with pain and numbness in my right leg, and pain moving from both heels into lower back makes things feel hopeless. Having lower back pain was bad enough, but now it has moved and become constant. I'm relly trying to not give up, but it's getting really hard.
  • i dont think its giving up. i'd like to think its a new beginning. better things to come.
  • My name is Colleen. I am 48yrs old and have had DDD/Spondylosis developing for the last 25 years. I have pain daily, sometimes pretty nasty. I appreciate your struggle. I have been through the revolving door when it comes to trying to keep a job with chronic pain. It can create a feeling of defeat and loss of hope. The only thing I can impart to you from my experience is that every day that you manage to do the best you can is a victory. Even if that means getting out of bed. I learned a great tactic during pain management. Humor. Sure, there's not much to laugh at, but just watching a funny movie can help. I know it's hard to laugh when things are so unsure. When the pain is so bad you can't help but wipe tears away, but you are succeeding when you reach out to others for help. Believe me, you are not alone. My motto is, "Never give up, never let the monster win". Good luck to you dear.
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